It's amazing what's out there...
Bill Nye the Science Guy fanfic exists. No, really. See? Crazy, neh?
I'll be attempting to drive tomorrow, when there's no pressure of work. I've been getting so upset before work, and then compounded by the fact that there is pressure to make the decision as to whether I'm able to drive or not, I get SO stressed out that not only to I still have a touch of the dizzy, but I get very lightheaded just from the stress, and my stomach gets all twisted and stuff. That's why work is so bad. Well, partly. I'm that bad because work is so bad, which makes work worse, which makes me worse and on and on and on....
The fact that there is also Diagnosis Murder fanfic is causing me to grumble again about WHY IS THAT NOT OUT ON DVD YET FOR GODS SAKE??
*hrumph*
I came to realise just now partly why I never feel right in "gay space", even though I'm in a pretty much gay relationship. (I think we have a weird not entirely male-male dynamic.) I think it's partly because I am constantly paranoid about passing, that's pretty obvious. Even once I do consistantly though, I think I'll still be uncomfortable. I'm trans, so I'm "not really a man", so therefore, we are "not really gay". To top it off though, I'm bi, so I'm "not really gay" and "not really straight" and if I'm "not really a man" and also not a woman, what the HELL "space" do I fit in? (Could I use any more quotes?) I'm not welcome in "gay space", "trans space" in general is not welcoming. I could get into a whole discussion about THAT, but suffice to say, we're all worried about our own issues, and I think that makes for a bad mix sometimes. There isn't (yet that I can see, anyway) a real "bi" space, and being as male-biased as I am, I don't think I usually would even come off as bi. (Women are attractive, I'm just picky as hell when it comes to what I find attractive in the female form.) I mean, I can get along fine without boxing myself into any one 'space', but it would be nice to find a group with kinship somewhere. The problem is finding one that will HAVE me.
Reading a bit of Doctor Who fanfic. As long as one avoids the slash, some of it is not too bad. Actually found a 5th, Tegan and Turlough fic, I'm surprised. Most people seem to loathe that grouping, though I love the dynamic they had. *sigh* Yep, that's me, rooting for the underdog. Maybe I just see... I dunno, Turlough's potential, more than what was written. I must see SOMETHING other people don't, as they don't like him at all.
He only ever wanted to go home... then when he did, he wasn't entirely happy about it. I love that about him.
I only ever want to go home too. But will I know it, when I find it?
I'll be attempting to drive tomorrow, when there's no pressure of work. I've been getting so upset before work, and then compounded by the fact that there is pressure to make the decision as to whether I'm able to drive or not, I get SO stressed out that not only to I still have a touch of the dizzy, but I get very lightheaded just from the stress, and my stomach gets all twisted and stuff. That's why work is so bad. Well, partly. I'm that bad because work is so bad, which makes work worse, which makes me worse and on and on and on....
The fact that there is also Diagnosis Murder fanfic is causing me to grumble again about WHY IS THAT NOT OUT ON DVD YET FOR GODS SAKE??
*hrumph*
I came to realise just now partly why I never feel right in "gay space", even though I'm in a pretty much gay relationship. (I think we have a weird not entirely male-male dynamic.) I think it's partly because I am constantly paranoid about passing, that's pretty obvious. Even once I do consistantly though, I think I'll still be uncomfortable. I'm trans, so I'm "not really a man", so therefore, we are "not really gay". To top it off though, I'm bi, so I'm "not really gay" and "not really straight" and if I'm "not really a man" and also not a woman, what the HELL "space" do I fit in? (Could I use any more quotes?) I'm not welcome in "gay space", "trans space" in general is not welcoming. I could get into a whole discussion about THAT, but suffice to say, we're all worried about our own issues, and I think that makes for a bad mix sometimes. There isn't (yet that I can see, anyway) a real "bi" space, and being as male-biased as I am, I don't think I usually would even come off as bi. (Women are attractive, I'm just picky as hell when it comes to what I find attractive in the female form.) I mean, I can get along fine without boxing myself into any one 'space', but it would be nice to find a group with kinship somewhere. The problem is finding one that will HAVE me.
Reading a bit of Doctor Who fanfic. As long as one avoids the slash, some of it is not too bad. Actually found a 5th, Tegan and Turlough fic, I'm surprised. Most people seem to loathe that grouping, though I love the dynamic they had. *sigh* Yep, that's me, rooting for the underdog. Maybe I just see... I dunno, Turlough's potential, more than what was written. I must see SOMETHING other people don't, as they don't like him at all.
He only ever wanted to go home... then when he did, he wasn't entirely happy about it. I love that about him.
I only ever want to go home too. But will I know it, when I find it?