Open Letter
Dear customers who think I am your friend,
I am not your friend.
You are socially inept. You are creepy. I find it hard to imagine anyone would be your friend. I acted nice to you. Perhaps there was some confusion, so let me clear this up.
Much like a prostitute, I am paid to pretend to like you. It is part of my job. And much as prostitutes are the only way you will be having sex, perhaps I am the only way you will be having anyone be nice to you.
I am not your friend.
NO LOVE, no matter how nice I act to you,
Me.
I am not your friend.
You are socially inept. You are creepy. I find it hard to imagine anyone would be your friend. I acted nice to you. Perhaps there was some confusion, so let me clear this up.
Much like a prostitute, I am paid to pretend to like you. It is part of my job. And much as prostitutes are the only way you will be having sex, perhaps I am the only way you will be having anyone be nice to you.
I am not your friend.
NO LOVE, no matter how nice I act to you,
Me.