first post here <3
Title: "Standing Sex"
Author: Innocent__Boy
Theme: #27 - HOT
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: JukaxKazuno (ex-Moi dix Mois)
Disclaimer: Since slaves are no more legal, I don't own neither Juka nor Kazuno (now don't ask me why I write angst only). Also, I don't own Midi:Nette or Mana, 'cause Manasama owns himself and everything else. Yes, even me. And you.
Comments: My first story here and it's rated... NC-17?! And I also chose the 27th theme! Also, this is my first piece posted on LJ as well as the first one I've ever written in English (yes, I'm not a native speaker: feel free to correct me whenever I'm mistaken <3)... I'd say it's a nice start, isn't it?
I was never really good at writing lemons, but I found out that when I write in English I can be shameless, so I guess this is the best I've ever written so far *laughs* Seriously, I know it has some serious lacks (there are no dialogues, for example), so... sorry *bows head*
This is dedicated to the lovely Ally... and, yeah, the title was from "Standing Sex" by none other than X Japan. Many thanks to kiku_kitten who told me how to use and LJ-cut <3
___
Kazuno's skin was hot.
To Juka, when it had touched his own, it had even felt like it was burning, making him shift away: all of sudden, while they were in the dressing room, the bassist had hugged him from behind, leaning on his back.
Kazuno had remained still for some seconds, apparently studying the vocalist's back and rather large shoulders; and while the latter realized how abruptly he had backed away, Kazuno had already bursted into a groundless, barely audible laughter.
Juka had turned his head towards him, his furrowed brows giving to his face an expression which was both questioning and surprised.
But Kazuno had just flashed him his usual cat-like grin; then he had started again to dress himself up for the upcoming photoshoot.
Still a bit startled, Juka had tightened the silken band around the white sleeve of his ruffled shirt and then, finally ready, he had exited the room.
After they had returned to Midi:Nette from the photographer's study, Juka and Kazuno had followed Mana into his office, and now they were still there, listening to him who was speaking about some contract or interview, or... Juka didn't know anymore.
Before his eyes, in his mind, was still Kazuno's smiling face, his eyes that looked icy and distant because of the lenses, but still they seemed to gaze straightly into his soul, with such an intensity that it was nearly scaring.
Juka couldn't listen to Mana's voice: it was like his ears were merely feeling it as a part of the air, and not like something to pay attention to.
On his arms, he still felt Kazuno's skin burning like fire aganist his. Even the mere remembration of this feeling was enough to give him again that same, reassuring, sweet pain.
Once, Juka turned his head to look at the bassist: listening carefully to what Mana said, he was still smiling, and even without their eyes meeting, the vocalist felt so upset and excited that, for a moment, he was going to scream.
But a tired sigh from Mana was enough to wake him up from that irrational daydream: the leader had noticed Juka's inattention, but, instead of scolding him, he merely shook his head, murmuring to Kazuno to, please, explain everything to Juka as soon as he was again aware of his surroundings; then the guitarist took his bag and keys (attached to a Doraemon-shaped keyring) from the desk and put gently his long, blue coat on his forearm.
Mana bowed politely, whispering a goodbye with his low voice and exited the room, closing the door behind him.
In the sky, big, grey clouds let only a weak ray of light escape their grasp; it entered the rather small office through the windows which were, instead, rather large. Outside, it was raining.
The rain hit veemently the trees-- so hard that it looked like the trees were going to be smashed by the falling water. Its uproar filled the emptiness in the air, in the silence, apparently dominating everything.
Juka, embarassed by Mana's gentle scolding, fixed intensely the drops which were falling rapidly, drawing silver ribbons in the air. His mind was being refilled again with the images from less than two hours before; the images of him and Kazuno, and how some poses they had to take had made them being so close. But Kazuno seemed to not notice their closeness: always looking at the camera, many times, he had shortened the already minimal distance between their bodies.
Juka gulped; he remained still while his eyes moved towards the edge as much as they could-- almost like he believed that, this way, he could look at Kazuno, who was standing behind his back.
He scarcely held a start when the bassist's hands slided under his arms, so that they were now resting on his chest; the fingers felt almost like inoffensive but firm claws, menacing to never let him go.
Kazuno let his cheek rest on Juka's shoulder, purring with half-closed eyes.
He could feel the other tensing aganist him, and he knew that it was because the vocalist felt strongly embarrassed by the sudden and intimate touch. Kazuno grinned.
"Kazu..." Juka's voice was a whisper, much more low than the usual and impregnated with the confused and mixed feelings which were fighting inside of him.
"Yeah...?" Kazuno purred again, tightening the embrace: he was teasing Juka; he knew very well what he had meant saying just his name.
The vocalist was confused: he feared being the victim of a joke; on the other hand, invisible hands grasped his guts, tossing them. These very hands made his reason blind to any rational tough, and, enveloped into this darkness, Juka could hear the beat of Kazuno's heart becoming stronger and faster second after second; Juka had the sensation that it was making his own body tremble.
Streaks of cold sweat caressed his skin and each vertebrae concealed by it, but even so a strange warmth started to envelope him; it was so strong that it felt unbearable, still, it was also so pleasant that even if it could have burnt the vocalist, he'd have remained craving for more, until his body wasn't reduced to ashes.
Such knowledge reawakened Juka's consciousness, shocking him. "If I don't stop, I'll be lost; if I don't stop him, I'll lose myself" - echoed a voice inside his head.
He took immediately Kazuno's hands - whose skin felt so much hotter than it previously did into the dressing room - into his - which, instead, were icy for the strong tension.
But when the bassist stood on his toes kissing him behind the delicate shell of his ear, instead of shoving him away, Juka pushed again his hands on his chest; then he lowered his head, knowing that his face was now slightly reddened.
A question. An answer. A reassurance. A word-less dialogue. A mutual knowledge.
Kazuno held him sweetly, but all of his gentleness suddenly disappeared when he broke the embrace to put himself in front of Juka and grasped his collar; Kazuno had his eyes closed and held the singer's body attached to his, while he showered his face with fierce kisses. He was doing everything rapidly, in a rush, overwhelming Juka who let him act freely, his eyelids trembling with indecision: it was a battle between the pleasure that was slowly overcoming him, drawning him towards that dangerous yet desirable warmth which he could obtain just through the other.
The fierceness of the kisses was enough strong to cloud Juka's mind, yet it was the same thing which reawakened his mind each time he let himself give into his senses: he closed his eyes in pleasure, but when his lashes brushed his cheekbones even so lightly, his eyelids fluttered open.
Juka realized that he had moved backwards just when his legs collided with the desk. In the same moment, Kazuno stopped kissing him and looked up, straightly into his eyes. He gave the vocalist a mischievous grin and pressed again a hand aganist his chest, making him lie onto the desk.
Through the thin cotton fabric, the wood felt cold to Juka; and when Kazuno started to fastly undress him, even the air felt like an icy knife cutting his skin.
Again he could feel Kazuno's hot skin adhering to his own which now, obliviously to him, was hot as well.
Juka found himself craving desperately for that warmth: he craved for it to melt their bodies and blend them together. He craved for Kazuno and him to be one.
Kazuno sat on him; their hands were entwined, resting on the desk next to the vocalist's head.
They looked at each other without uttering a word, and even though it wasn't for more than few seconds, it give them a totally different impression.
Finally, Juka raised his head and kissed the other's lips softly. To Kazuno it felt almost like a feather, gently brushing his lips; he touched them with the tips of his fingers, and looked - his eyes wide - at the vocalist, who smiled lightly at him.
"Don't care about me." he said, squeezing his hand "I'm rather stupid when it comes to these things, you should know it..."
Kazuno observed Juka chuckling ironically at himself, and felt ashamed.
He leant down, straddling his hips aganist Juka's. The bassist freed one of his hands and used it to toy with the other's soft dark hair.
"You're not stupid..." he murmured; their foreheads and noses almost touching "...you're just... innocent*..." then he smiled-- not his usual grin, but a sweet smile.
Juka was a bit startled.
"Kazuno..." he started, but the other interrupted him.
"Don't say it. Don't."
The vocalist looked rather sad, perhaps even hurted, having meant to say important words; his eyes immediately left Kazuno's. But the latter kissed him nonetheless, again forcefully and passionately, as if trying to drawn the sadness and every other feeling into what their bodies instead felt-- hurted or not, it was very obvious to Kazuno how much Juka still wanted him (and, of course, how much he himself needed the other).
"Come on, my innocent boy**..." he purred aganist his ear; his voice quite high "...turn on your stomach for me now, mh?"
Juka couldn't help but close his eyes and moan in pleasure while Kazuno followed with his rather plump lips an invisible path which started on the singer's neck, involved both of his clavicles, his chest and stomach and went still lower.
It seemed that Kazuno had decided to make the whole thing longer, and was now directing his attention towards Juka's throbbing member: he stroked it gently at first, then with decision and more quickly.
The vocalist was feeling self-conscious all of sudden: he couldn't believe that this was really happening; he couldn't believe that his innermost desire was coming true. The same voice which had tried to save him some minutes ago, was now commanding him to touch Kazuno, to bury his hands into the other's long hair and pull it, so that his screams of pain could convince Juka that he wasn't dreaming again.
But these thoughts (which were already quite confused and incoherent) were abruptly interrupted when he felt Kazuno's pink lips closing around the tip of his sex, massaging it slowly with long suctions.
Surprised, at first, Juka let a soft moan escape his lips, but soon after he bit them and clenched his fists, his knuckles turning white: he didn't want the bassist to know how much he was enjoying this-- in his mind it would have made him look somehow silly and inexperienced before Kazuno's eyes.
But when the latter enveloped completely him in the warm cavity of his mouth, Juka found out how much hard was keeping himself from moaning and letting his own self respond to Kazuno's arousing touch: the bassist's hands roamed all over his mid-section, sometimes stopping on his tighs, sometimes grabbing his buttocks; always leaving on the snow-coloured skin red marks which resembled little halfmoons.
When Juka knew he was going to come, another feeling accompained the pleasure: even in his hazed mind, he felt a little ashamed thinking about his creaminess filling the other's mouth... but the thought of those rosebud-like lips around him, sucking him, and those large, long-fingered hands stroking his skin was enough to drive him crazy, making the self-consciousness as well as the previous sadness melt into these stronger and pleasant feelings. Just like Kazuno had meant it to be.
Still the bassist wasn't satisfied with his plan: he finally had Juka; he had him lying there, beneath him, shivering under his touch... He knew the vocalist was restraining himself from vocalizing the overwhelming sensations which were filling both his body and his mind... And Kazuno could only think that he was acting this way because he felt ashamed of everything that was happening. He had been looking at Juka for a long time; everytime they were in that very office, Kazuno would just pretend to be listening to what Mana or whoever else said, and have instead his mind stuffed with ghostly images of him shoving Juka on that very desk.
He had never tried to make his fantasies real, always fearing the other didn't feel the same way, and he know, now, that he had been right: and he had also been so coward to stop Juka from saying how he really felt-- from saying that he didn't love him.
Kazuno knew that stopping at that moment would have been completely useless, and decided to go on, at least fullfilling his consuming wish, at least obtaining something to remeber and make his dreams more deceitful, when he knew that, after this, Juka wasn't going to neither speak nor to look at him anymore.
Suddenly (and in a quite disappointing way, Juka thought), the bassist released the singer's member from his mouth, moving again-- literally sliding on the body beneath his, so that they were again face to face.
Kazuno licked his lips, slightly wet with precum, and grinned slyly, looking straightly into Juka's eyes, which were blue because of the lenses just like his; it costed to him an effort that wasn't exactly little, but he had to wear this mask during all the game - no matter what.
He kissed the tip of Juka's nose, then brushed softly his lips aganist his skin, never leaving it till he found a spot on the vocalist's cheek that he seemed to like particoularly and kissed it; all the while, Kazuno had his left hand caressing his hair and the right busy at teasing the other's erection.
Juka's need was, by now, painful-- he couldn't take it anymore, but seeing Kazuno acting so playfully made him wanting to smile, and he could do nothing when a soft kiss was placed on his forehead and his lips did really curve into a tiny, yet sweet smile.
Seeing that, Kazuno felt a painful pull at his heart, but regained immediately his selfcontrol and motioned Juka to turn finally on his stomach; resting now on the other's back, he placed a gentle kiss between his neck and shoulder, leaving his lips working there slowly but with decision, until a pink bruise was clearly visible there; the bassist then, feeling his own need unbearable at this point, let his left hand slip away from the silken locks to reach instead Juka's lips: he was caressing them with his fingertips when the vocalist inadvertently took them into his mouth, sucking them lightly with closed eyes; he ignored what Kazuno really felt for him, and - just like him - had decided, in the end, to enjoy this time as much as he could.
Kazuno's eyelids fluttered close; his lashes trembling in pleasure, happy to finally have his touches returned; it was him now who was moaning and craving for more.
He could feel Juka's tongue wrapping around each one of his finger, caressing the skin that the bass chords had made calloused during the years... All of sudden, the vocalist wrapped his own fingers around Kazuno's wrist, and started kissing his whole hand, slowly descending towards the white foreharm. He stopped there, sucking now on the bassist's wrist, meaning to leave his own love-mark.
Kazuno let him do as he pleased, breathing so fastly that it felt nearly painful... Juka was rapidly increasing his arousement, and soon he was at the point that he couldn't resist anymore, and put again his fingers into Juka's mouth, making them more wet with his saliva; he took them off merely a few seconds after, and moved his hand all along Juka's spine, stopping only when it arrived to his entrance.
Kazuno violated it with one of his wet fingers, and Juka let out a surprised gasp; he hadn't really to wait for another finger to join the first: his muscles tightened around them straight away, strongly aching for the vocalist had never been with another man.
And it was even more hurting when Kazuno's length replaced the fingers, and he started to thrust into him; the bassist's hand which was stroking forcefully his member could barely distract him from the pain he felt burning inside.
At the same time, Kazuno went on with his thrusts, trying to restrain himself from being too eager even if quietly in vain: he didn't want to hurt too much Juka, and was nearly scared when he felt cold trickles sliding along his lenght: he knew well that it was nothing else than blood.
But even so, when he hesitated, Juka grabbed his free hand, whispering: "Don't stop, please..."; his voice was barely audible and rather husky. And when Kazuno increased again his pace, he still hold onto his hand, squeezing it more and more as he approached his peak.
They had come together: for some brief instants they had been one.
Soon after, Juka, exhausted and still panting, had taken Kazuno into his arms, kissing his forehead; he embraced him so tightly that the bassist feared his ribcage was going to break anytime soon.
The sweat had made their bodies sticky; their chests rised each time together; the beats of their hearts made a melody which filled their ears and minds.
It was like a melanchonic yet reassuring lullaby, inviting the both of them to fall asleep in each other arms.
Kazuno, as well as Juka, was really going to lose to such a temptaion, but the feelings that had overcomed him with the orgasm were leaving his thoughts, and he was again conscious that this wasn't an experience which was going to be repeated again. He struggled a bit aganist Juka, until the other's arms finally released him.
Juka's slightly widened eyes followed Kazuno in his movements: he had collected his clothes, that were lying discarded on the floor, and was putting them on quickly, careful to not let his eyes gaze at the vocalist.
Juka saw Kazuno walking towards the door, without uttering even a single word. His own heart was becoming heavy with anxiety for he desperately wanted to say what he really felt.
But when he looked again at the bassist's back, when he saw again how he was walking away apparently with nothing to say... Juka swallowed the lump in his throat, squezeed his eyes shut, not daring to open them till he heard the door being closed.
Now, he was alone.
He had had the warmth he had desired so much. His body was still hot, just like the wooden desk which had stolen their passion heath. He sat up and closed his eyes, not wanting to cry, and wrapped his arms around himself.
Juka knew that they weren't going to ignore each other; he knew that, tomorrow, they were going to act like always, as if nothing had changed. They were adults, after all.
The singer tightened the embrace around his own body: yes, his skin was really hot. But still, Juka couldn't help, but feel cold inside.
...he didn't know that, behind that very door, sitting on the marble floor, was Kazuno with his forehead resting on his knees, silently crying for an unrequited love.
___
Notes:
* see note #2
** okay, so that wasn't an invention of mine: during an interview, Manasama did really say that Juka is an innocent boy...
Author: Innocent__Boy
Theme: #27 - HOT
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: JukaxKazuno (ex-Moi dix Mois)
Disclaimer: Since slaves are no more legal, I don't own neither Juka nor Kazuno (now don't ask me why I write angst only). Also, I don't own Midi:Nette or Mana, 'cause Manasama owns himself and everything else. Yes, even me. And you.
Comments: My first story here and it's rated... NC-17?! And I also chose the 27th theme! Also, this is my first piece posted on LJ as well as the first one I've ever written in English (yes, I'm not a native speaker: feel free to correct me whenever I'm mistaken <3)... I'd say it's a nice start, isn't it?
I was never really good at writing lemons, but I found out that when I write in English I can be shameless, so I guess this is the best I've ever written so far *laughs* Seriously, I know it has some serious lacks (there are no dialogues, for example), so... sorry *bows head*
This is dedicated to the lovely Ally... and, yeah, the title was from "Standing Sex" by none other than X Japan. Many thanks to kiku_kitten who told me how to use and LJ-cut <3
___
Kazuno's skin was hot.
To Juka, when it had touched his own, it had even felt like it was burning, making him shift away: all of sudden, while they were in the dressing room, the bassist had hugged him from behind, leaning on his back.
Kazuno had remained still for some seconds, apparently studying the vocalist's back and rather large shoulders; and while the latter realized how abruptly he had backed away, Kazuno had already bursted into a groundless, barely audible laughter.
Juka had turned his head towards him, his furrowed brows giving to his face an expression which was both questioning and surprised.
But Kazuno had just flashed him his usual cat-like grin; then he had started again to dress himself up for the upcoming photoshoot.
Still a bit startled, Juka had tightened the silken band around the white sleeve of his ruffled shirt and then, finally ready, he had exited the room.
After they had returned to Midi:Nette from the photographer's study, Juka and Kazuno had followed Mana into his office, and now they were still there, listening to him who was speaking about some contract or interview, or... Juka didn't know anymore.
Before his eyes, in his mind, was still Kazuno's smiling face, his eyes that looked icy and distant because of the lenses, but still they seemed to gaze straightly into his soul, with such an intensity that it was nearly scaring.
Juka couldn't listen to Mana's voice: it was like his ears were merely feeling it as a part of the air, and not like something to pay attention to.
On his arms, he still felt Kazuno's skin burning like fire aganist his. Even the mere remembration of this feeling was enough to give him again that same, reassuring, sweet pain.
Once, Juka turned his head to look at the bassist: listening carefully to what Mana said, he was still smiling, and even without their eyes meeting, the vocalist felt so upset and excited that, for a moment, he was going to scream.
But a tired sigh from Mana was enough to wake him up from that irrational daydream: the leader had noticed Juka's inattention, but, instead of scolding him, he merely shook his head, murmuring to Kazuno to, please, explain everything to Juka as soon as he was again aware of his surroundings; then the guitarist took his bag and keys (attached to a Doraemon-shaped keyring) from the desk and put gently his long, blue coat on his forearm.
Mana bowed politely, whispering a goodbye with his low voice and exited the room, closing the door behind him.
In the sky, big, grey clouds let only a weak ray of light escape their grasp; it entered the rather small office through the windows which were, instead, rather large. Outside, it was raining.
The rain hit veemently the trees-- so hard that it looked like the trees were going to be smashed by the falling water. Its uproar filled the emptiness in the air, in the silence, apparently dominating everything.
Juka, embarassed by Mana's gentle scolding, fixed intensely the drops which were falling rapidly, drawing silver ribbons in the air. His mind was being refilled again with the images from less than two hours before; the images of him and Kazuno, and how some poses they had to take had made them being so close. But Kazuno seemed to not notice their closeness: always looking at the camera, many times, he had shortened the already minimal distance between their bodies.
Juka gulped; he remained still while his eyes moved towards the edge as much as they could-- almost like he believed that, this way, he could look at Kazuno, who was standing behind his back.
He scarcely held a start when the bassist's hands slided under his arms, so that they were now resting on his chest; the fingers felt almost like inoffensive but firm claws, menacing to never let him go.
Kazuno let his cheek rest on Juka's shoulder, purring with half-closed eyes.
He could feel the other tensing aganist him, and he knew that it was because the vocalist felt strongly embarrassed by the sudden and intimate touch. Kazuno grinned.
"Kazu..." Juka's voice was a whisper, much more low than the usual and impregnated with the confused and mixed feelings which were fighting inside of him.
"Yeah...?" Kazuno purred again, tightening the embrace: he was teasing Juka; he knew very well what he had meant saying just his name.
The vocalist was confused: he feared being the victim of a joke; on the other hand, invisible hands grasped his guts, tossing them. These very hands made his reason blind to any rational tough, and, enveloped into this darkness, Juka could hear the beat of Kazuno's heart becoming stronger and faster second after second; Juka had the sensation that it was making his own body tremble.
Streaks of cold sweat caressed his skin and each vertebrae concealed by it, but even so a strange warmth started to envelope him; it was so strong that it felt unbearable, still, it was also so pleasant that even if it could have burnt the vocalist, he'd have remained craving for more, until his body wasn't reduced to ashes.
Such knowledge reawakened Juka's consciousness, shocking him. "If I don't stop, I'll be lost; if I don't stop him, I'll lose myself" - echoed a voice inside his head.
He took immediately Kazuno's hands - whose skin felt so much hotter than it previously did into the dressing room - into his - which, instead, were icy for the strong tension.
But when the bassist stood on his toes kissing him behind the delicate shell of his ear, instead of shoving him away, Juka pushed again his hands on his chest; then he lowered his head, knowing that his face was now slightly reddened.
A question. An answer. A reassurance. A word-less dialogue. A mutual knowledge.
Kazuno held him sweetly, but all of his gentleness suddenly disappeared when he broke the embrace to put himself in front of Juka and grasped his collar; Kazuno had his eyes closed and held the singer's body attached to his, while he showered his face with fierce kisses. He was doing everything rapidly, in a rush, overwhelming Juka who let him act freely, his eyelids trembling with indecision: it was a battle between the pleasure that was slowly overcoming him, drawning him towards that dangerous yet desirable warmth which he could obtain just through the other.
The fierceness of the kisses was enough strong to cloud Juka's mind, yet it was the same thing which reawakened his mind each time he let himself give into his senses: he closed his eyes in pleasure, but when his lashes brushed his cheekbones even so lightly, his eyelids fluttered open.
Juka realized that he had moved backwards just when his legs collided with the desk. In the same moment, Kazuno stopped kissing him and looked up, straightly into his eyes. He gave the vocalist a mischievous grin and pressed again a hand aganist his chest, making him lie onto the desk.
Through the thin cotton fabric, the wood felt cold to Juka; and when Kazuno started to fastly undress him, even the air felt like an icy knife cutting his skin.
Again he could feel Kazuno's hot skin adhering to his own which now, obliviously to him, was hot as well.
Juka found himself craving desperately for that warmth: he craved for it to melt their bodies and blend them together. He craved for Kazuno and him to be one.
Kazuno sat on him; their hands were entwined, resting on the desk next to the vocalist's head.
They looked at each other without uttering a word, and even though it wasn't for more than few seconds, it give them a totally different impression.
Finally, Juka raised his head and kissed the other's lips softly. To Kazuno it felt almost like a feather, gently brushing his lips; he touched them with the tips of his fingers, and looked - his eyes wide - at the vocalist, who smiled lightly at him.
"Don't care about me." he said, squeezing his hand "I'm rather stupid when it comes to these things, you should know it..."
Kazuno observed Juka chuckling ironically at himself, and felt ashamed.
He leant down, straddling his hips aganist Juka's. The bassist freed one of his hands and used it to toy with the other's soft dark hair.
"You're not stupid..." he murmured; their foreheads and noses almost touching "...you're just... innocent*..." then he smiled-- not his usual grin, but a sweet smile.
Juka was a bit startled.
"Kazuno..." he started, but the other interrupted him.
"Don't say it. Don't."
The vocalist looked rather sad, perhaps even hurted, having meant to say important words; his eyes immediately left Kazuno's. But the latter kissed him nonetheless, again forcefully and passionately, as if trying to drawn the sadness and every other feeling into what their bodies instead felt-- hurted or not, it was very obvious to Kazuno how much Juka still wanted him (and, of course, how much he himself needed the other).
"Come on, my innocent boy**..." he purred aganist his ear; his voice quite high "...turn on your stomach for me now, mh?"
Juka couldn't help but close his eyes and moan in pleasure while Kazuno followed with his rather plump lips an invisible path which started on the singer's neck, involved both of his clavicles, his chest and stomach and went still lower.
It seemed that Kazuno had decided to make the whole thing longer, and was now directing his attention towards Juka's throbbing member: he stroked it gently at first, then with decision and more quickly.
The vocalist was feeling self-conscious all of sudden: he couldn't believe that this was really happening; he couldn't believe that his innermost desire was coming true. The same voice which had tried to save him some minutes ago, was now commanding him to touch Kazuno, to bury his hands into the other's long hair and pull it, so that his screams of pain could convince Juka that he wasn't dreaming again.
But these thoughts (which were already quite confused and incoherent) were abruptly interrupted when he felt Kazuno's pink lips closing around the tip of his sex, massaging it slowly with long suctions.
Surprised, at first, Juka let a soft moan escape his lips, but soon after he bit them and clenched his fists, his knuckles turning white: he didn't want the bassist to know how much he was enjoying this-- in his mind it would have made him look somehow silly and inexperienced before Kazuno's eyes.
But when the latter enveloped completely him in the warm cavity of his mouth, Juka found out how much hard was keeping himself from moaning and letting his own self respond to Kazuno's arousing touch: the bassist's hands roamed all over his mid-section, sometimes stopping on his tighs, sometimes grabbing his buttocks; always leaving on the snow-coloured skin red marks which resembled little halfmoons.
When Juka knew he was going to come, another feeling accompained the pleasure: even in his hazed mind, he felt a little ashamed thinking about his creaminess filling the other's mouth... but the thought of those rosebud-like lips around him, sucking him, and those large, long-fingered hands stroking his skin was enough to drive him crazy, making the self-consciousness as well as the previous sadness melt into these stronger and pleasant feelings. Just like Kazuno had meant it to be.
Still the bassist wasn't satisfied with his plan: he finally had Juka; he had him lying there, beneath him, shivering under his touch... He knew the vocalist was restraining himself from vocalizing the overwhelming sensations which were filling both his body and his mind... And Kazuno could only think that he was acting this way because he felt ashamed of everything that was happening. He had been looking at Juka for a long time; everytime they were in that very office, Kazuno would just pretend to be listening to what Mana or whoever else said, and have instead his mind stuffed with ghostly images of him shoving Juka on that very desk.
He had never tried to make his fantasies real, always fearing the other didn't feel the same way, and he know, now, that he had been right: and he had also been so coward to stop Juka from saying how he really felt-- from saying that he didn't love him.
Kazuno knew that stopping at that moment would have been completely useless, and decided to go on, at least fullfilling his consuming wish, at least obtaining something to remeber and make his dreams more deceitful, when he knew that, after this, Juka wasn't going to neither speak nor to look at him anymore.
Suddenly (and in a quite disappointing way, Juka thought), the bassist released the singer's member from his mouth, moving again-- literally sliding on the body beneath his, so that they were again face to face.
Kazuno licked his lips, slightly wet with precum, and grinned slyly, looking straightly into Juka's eyes, which were blue because of the lenses just like his; it costed to him an effort that wasn't exactly little, but he had to wear this mask during all the game - no matter what.
He kissed the tip of Juka's nose, then brushed softly his lips aganist his skin, never leaving it till he found a spot on the vocalist's cheek that he seemed to like particoularly and kissed it; all the while, Kazuno had his left hand caressing his hair and the right busy at teasing the other's erection.
Juka's need was, by now, painful-- he couldn't take it anymore, but seeing Kazuno acting so playfully made him wanting to smile, and he could do nothing when a soft kiss was placed on his forehead and his lips did really curve into a tiny, yet sweet smile.
Seeing that, Kazuno felt a painful pull at his heart, but regained immediately his selfcontrol and motioned Juka to turn finally on his stomach; resting now on the other's back, he placed a gentle kiss between his neck and shoulder, leaving his lips working there slowly but with decision, until a pink bruise was clearly visible there; the bassist then, feeling his own need unbearable at this point, let his left hand slip away from the silken locks to reach instead Juka's lips: he was caressing them with his fingertips when the vocalist inadvertently took them into his mouth, sucking them lightly with closed eyes; he ignored what Kazuno really felt for him, and - just like him - had decided, in the end, to enjoy this time as much as he could.
Kazuno's eyelids fluttered close; his lashes trembling in pleasure, happy to finally have his touches returned; it was him now who was moaning and craving for more.
He could feel Juka's tongue wrapping around each one of his finger, caressing the skin that the bass chords had made calloused during the years... All of sudden, the vocalist wrapped his own fingers around Kazuno's wrist, and started kissing his whole hand, slowly descending towards the white foreharm. He stopped there, sucking now on the bassist's wrist, meaning to leave his own love-mark.
Kazuno let him do as he pleased, breathing so fastly that it felt nearly painful... Juka was rapidly increasing his arousement, and soon he was at the point that he couldn't resist anymore, and put again his fingers into Juka's mouth, making them more wet with his saliva; he took them off merely a few seconds after, and moved his hand all along Juka's spine, stopping only when it arrived to his entrance.
Kazuno violated it with one of his wet fingers, and Juka let out a surprised gasp; he hadn't really to wait for another finger to join the first: his muscles tightened around them straight away, strongly aching for the vocalist had never been with another man.
And it was even more hurting when Kazuno's length replaced the fingers, and he started to thrust into him; the bassist's hand which was stroking forcefully his member could barely distract him from the pain he felt burning inside.
At the same time, Kazuno went on with his thrusts, trying to restrain himself from being too eager even if quietly in vain: he didn't want to hurt too much Juka, and was nearly scared when he felt cold trickles sliding along his lenght: he knew well that it was nothing else than blood.
But even so, when he hesitated, Juka grabbed his free hand, whispering: "Don't stop, please..."; his voice was barely audible and rather husky. And when Kazuno increased again his pace, he still hold onto his hand, squeezing it more and more as he approached his peak.
They had come together: for some brief instants they had been one.
Soon after, Juka, exhausted and still panting, had taken Kazuno into his arms, kissing his forehead; he embraced him so tightly that the bassist feared his ribcage was going to break anytime soon.
The sweat had made their bodies sticky; their chests rised each time together; the beats of their hearts made a melody which filled their ears and minds.
It was like a melanchonic yet reassuring lullaby, inviting the both of them to fall asleep in each other arms.
Kazuno, as well as Juka, was really going to lose to such a temptaion, but the feelings that had overcomed him with the orgasm were leaving his thoughts, and he was again conscious that this wasn't an experience which was going to be repeated again. He struggled a bit aganist Juka, until the other's arms finally released him.
Juka's slightly widened eyes followed Kazuno in his movements: he had collected his clothes, that were lying discarded on the floor, and was putting them on quickly, careful to not let his eyes gaze at the vocalist.
Juka saw Kazuno walking towards the door, without uttering even a single word. His own heart was becoming heavy with anxiety for he desperately wanted to say what he really felt.
But when he looked again at the bassist's back, when he saw again how he was walking away apparently with nothing to say... Juka swallowed the lump in his throat, squezeed his eyes shut, not daring to open them till he heard the door being closed.
Now, he was alone.
He had had the warmth he had desired so much. His body was still hot, just like the wooden desk which had stolen their passion heath. He sat up and closed his eyes, not wanting to cry, and wrapped his arms around himself.
Juka knew that they weren't going to ignore each other; he knew that, tomorrow, they were going to act like always, as if nothing had changed. They were adults, after all.
The singer tightened the embrace around his own body: yes, his skin was really hot. But still, Juka couldn't help, but feel cold inside.
...he didn't know that, behind that very door, sitting on the marble floor, was Kazuno with his forehead resting on his knees, silently crying for an unrequited love.
___
Notes:
* see note #2
** okay, so that wasn't an invention of mine: during an interview, Manasama did really say that Juka is an innocent boy...