39. Ship ~Blind IV~
39. ShipTitle: Blind (4/4)
Theme: 39. Ship
Pairing: TeruxHisashi (Glay)
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Not my boys, no money to make!
Comments:…well,THE FINAL of Blind! Whoo~! XDD~
The last few lines are taken from Glay's latest release and especially the song "henna yume ~THOUSAND DREAMS~"! (Credits to GREATEST SHADOW) It suited well here so I inserted it. I think it points out what this whole fanfiction is about. XDD THANK you for reading! Special thanks to murky_murk.
This part is dedicated to
ichigomomo_chan! LUV you, DEAR! Go on 'fighting'! I'll always be here for you!
Check out my other fics if you want to: Blind III , Blind II , Blind I , When the rain begins to fall , Sweet Surprises, Decisions (part I-V) , Chance , Confessions , Hidden Desires , It's always the same... , Regretful Thoughts , A new friend , How I see him... , Who's the fool? , Overslept
Blind IV
He’d almost died in an shooting. Cruel irony was, it were the same people who killed his daughter. You hardly can imagine how I felt after I read it in the newspaper and you should have seen me rushing over to the hospital, nearly stumbling in my attempt to be as quick as possible. I was smart enough to tell the nurse I was his brother so she even led me there.
“He’s much better now but he’ll need a lot of silence though. Please don’t give him trouble.” With that she bowed and left.
Slowly and as quiet as possible I neared his bed, something inside me hurting for being forced to see him like this. Many bandages, his still bruised face, the tubes entering his body here and there. I couldn’t help but feel a familiar prick behind my eyes as I sat down next to him at the only chair in this twilight room. Before I knew my eyes were watery and I stared at him for around five minutes, lost in my thoughts, until I snapped out of it because someone was talking to me all of the sudden.
“Ko…bashi-san?” A silent, weak voice reached my ears and I looked down at him, at his pained features as he continued. “How…did you…?”
He started but I already knew what he was going to ask. “The newspaper, luck and a little bit smartness…that’s how I found you.” I smiled although it was hard for me. “Call me Teru, please.” I twinkled. “And…may I call you Hisashi?” Was my wary question which fortunately caused him to nod with a small grin.
“Ano…you don’t look that good, to be honest. What happened, if I may ask. I’m freakin’ worried!”
“Well…”
He told me everything. How he found out the men who kidnapped his daughter, did the same thing again to another parent’s kid and how he tried to get them by himself. Unfortunately they recognized him instantly and tried to kill him but, THANK GOD, didn’t succeed.
I had my suspicions he didn’t tell me the truth about that call he received last time but I wasn’t about to dig into that because it didn’t matter anymore, at least to me. All I could properly think of now, was he being alive.
I paled and also looked quite shocked during his retelling and I’m sure he again thought how I could take this THAT serious but as it seemed he was at a point he had just accepted that.
But by the end my eyes were wet again and that was what made him eyeing me oddly though.
“Teru…why…?”
“Oh…it’s just…when I think about all of this…if it hadn’t turned out like this I maybe would never have met you again. I’m so relieved you’re alive.” I paused to let this statement sink. A kind of strange silence remained as both of us considered what that could mean.
“But also it…shows me how much you love your daughter…and I’m such a coward, not having tried to keep more in contact with mine.” I added truthfully.
Hisashi shook his head at that. “Well…look what happened. It’s like my wife said as she visited me last time…I was dumb to think I could solve this case on my own. I just almost got myself killed and worried her…and you. It didn’t do anything good…it didn’t bring back my daughter…” A tear made it’s way down his cheek.
He paused for a few moments. “…at least it made my wife seems to somehow understand now that it’s not like I deny it’s my fault…but…that doesn’t make her coming back to me. We’ll have our divorce around spring next year.”
“That’s…” I started and placed a hand at his. ”I’m sorry.” Was the only thing I could think of what caused him to once more shaking his head.
“There’s nothing to be sorry for, Teru. There isn’t anything you could have done…” Hisashi stopped when he had to yawn. “Ah…damn painkiller. I can’t even think properly right now…I’m sorry I’m so tired.” He winced as another gust of pain flashed through his thin body. “But…I’m lucky I don’t have to endure those all the time…” Again there was a yawn but then he looked into my eyes almost desperately.
“Would you…stay for a while? Maybe until I’m asleep? I haven’t had much visitors since weeks.” Was his question and I couldn’t and wouldn’t have even considered saying ‘no’ to that request.
“Sure.” I replied with a smile and inwardly bounced as he smiled back in a way I can’t even describe to you as good as it deserves to be.
“Thank you.” He managed before he shortly after drifted off to sleep.
Haa~, let me tell you, he’s so cute if he’s asleep although all the hospital stuff covering him, although his face was bruised. If you had been there you’d probably seen little hearts within my eyes as I watched him, never letting go of his smooth hand. I don’t know how long I sat there, fighting with my urge to just give in my feelings right then and kiss him until I finally decided to give it a try.
I slowly leaned over and was about to touch those soft lips with mine as I decided I couldn’t do that, couldn’t take advantage of his helplessness and sat back down, a quiet sigh escaping my mouth.
“Ah…what should I do if my love doesn’t recognize…and what should I do if there’s never the right time to tell…tell me what I should do?” I mumbled to myself, sighing once more.
~~~
I think somewhere the night before I must have dozed off due to I was woken up by a nurse the next morning at 6 am (!). Somehow my head must have made it down next to his hand when I got too tired and at the fact I was still holding his hand, I must have done so all night long.
Immediately I sat up and shocked her a bit as well as Hisashi who was already awake, watching me in a way I really wasn’t able to place.
‘Maybe he heard?’ Came to my mind. ‘But he was asleep.’ Was another thought. ‘And what if not…’ I blinked a few times to get rid of those thoughts and then smiled at him.
“How are you doin’?”
“Not that much better…but thank you for being there when I needed someone.” Hisashi said gratefully but then the nurse intervened.
“Mr….?”
“Kobashi!”
“Mr. Kobashi, he needs to be washed right now. Would you please leave the room? You can wait outside.” She told me and with a bow at her and a nod at Hisashi (who was slightly blushing) I left, closing the door behind me.
Fortunately there were a few vacant chairs near his room so I sat down there, burring my face within my hands with a sigh.
“I have to tell him…I can’t do this anymore…when will ever be the right moment?” I mumbled to myself, nearly falling of the chair when a firm hand was put at my shoulder. I looked up immediately to meet the emphatic face of a very tall doctor , blinking a few times at the strange situation.
“Tell him as soon as possible…whatever it might be. There’ll probably never be ‘the right” moment and maybe you’ll regret it if you didn’t do when you have had the chance. I know what I’m talking about.” With that he pulled his hand back and smiled at me in a knowing way, leaving me behind with a nod. ‘What an odd person, that Kubo-san.’ I wondered, shaking my head. ‘But he’s right…’ “Yeah, it’s about time to make sail and finally get this ‘ship’ moving, if it’s dangerous or not.” I encouraged myself and waited for the nurse to enter the corridor and tell me he’s finished. ‘But how am I gonna start?’
~~~
Half an hour later I was standing in front of his bed, sheepishly rubbing the back of my neck as I waited for the nurse to leave finally.
After she closed the door I slowly scurried over and once again sat down at the chair, looking at him all the time. I sighed and then grabbed his hand as I put my thoughts together.
He seemed to apprehend I was about to tell him something important as he watched me expectantly.
“Uhm…I have something to tell you…it’s kind of…difficult for me and I’m afraid of…” I stopped as he smiled at me.
“You know…I think I know already…” Hisashi stated and startled me quite a lot.
“Y-you mean…? Was it that obvious?” I stammered, growing more and more red.
“Kind of…I heard you yesterday…but…” He stopped for a few seconds to consider what would be the best way to tell me.
“…I don’t know what exactly my feelings are right now. So many things happened and I’m just too confused .…I really wasn’t able to think that through until now. It’s not…it’s not that I don’t like you but…I can’t honestly tell you I return your feelings as much as you do. Am…am I making any sense?” He asked quietly, eyeing me a bit insecure.
I nodded and forced a smile although it was pretty hard for me, but at least he was honest and that’s what I appreciated very much…and made me loving him even more. What a dilemma!
“Thank you for your honesty.” I managed and put my gaze down, tears trying to threaten into my eyes but I forced them to stay back.
Slowly I let go of his hand but looked up startled when he grabbed mine this time.
“It’s just…I really like you but I’m not sure if it’s just friendship or…more. I know that’s not what you hoped it would turn out…I’m sorry.” He added.
A few moments it took me to swallow that but then I lifted my gaze, determination glimmering within my eyes. “I won’t give up until you say there’s no hope!” I proudly exclaimed, causing him to chuckle.
“You’re really something.” He said with a laugh but then winced. “Ouch, I shouldn’t laugh anymore.”
“Well, maybe not yet but…later I would like to see your laugh more often.” Was my cheeky reply to this. “Oi~ shall I get us some coffee or something?” I asked then.
“Sure, just make sure I’m not asleep until you return.”
This time it was my turn to chuckle. “I’ll try.”
~~~
Guess what happened after he left the hospital (I visited as often as I was able to)?
Well, you should be able to think of what took place since we’re living in a nice apartment together right now and I think I can say I’m one of the happiest men alive.
After we became lovers I finally put up enough courage to talk to my daughters much more and now we’re meeting up at a regular basis. My former wife and I also come together from time to time and have some nice talking. I’mreally lucky being able to be with a person like him.
As for Hisashi, his divorce wasn’t as bad as it seemed to become because his wife had already calmed down then.
Sure, he still is unhappy about his divorce and his daughter’s death is haunting him in some nights, he waking up bathed in sweat.
But I swore to be always there for him, especially at those moments so Hisashi don’t have to be worried about being alone with his pain. Unfortunately I can’t take off the pain of him, I always wish I could but…
I don’t know what the future will be like but right now I’m happy and enjoy every minute we have. I’m confident we’ll make it!
"Ready go! Be myself
Ready go! Be myself
Ready go! Be myself
Konya ROMANTI~C!
Odore odore motto~ Life is very short!"
Theme: 39. Ship
Pairing: TeruxHisashi (Glay)
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Not my boys, no money to make!
Comments:…well,THE FINAL of Blind! Whoo~! XDD~
The last few lines are taken from Glay's latest release and especially the song "henna yume ~THOUSAND DREAMS~"! (Credits to GREATEST SHADOW) It suited well here so I inserted it. I think it points out what this whole fanfiction is about. XDD THANK you for reading! Special thanks to murky_murk.
This part is dedicated to
ichigomomo_chan! LUV you, DEAR! Go on 'fighting'! I'll always be here for you!
Check out my other fics if you want to: Blind III , Blind II , Blind I , When the rain begins to fall , Sweet Surprises, Decisions (part I-V) , Chance , Confessions , Hidden Desires , It's always the same... , Regretful Thoughts , A new friend , How I see him... , Who's the fool? , Overslept
Blind IV
He’d almost died in an shooting. Cruel irony was, it were the same people who killed his daughter. You hardly can imagine how I felt after I read it in the newspaper and you should have seen me rushing over to the hospital, nearly stumbling in my attempt to be as quick as possible. I was smart enough to tell the nurse I was his brother so she even led me there.
“He’s much better now but he’ll need a lot of silence though. Please don’t give him trouble.” With that she bowed and left.
Slowly and as quiet as possible I neared his bed, something inside me hurting for being forced to see him like this. Many bandages, his still bruised face, the tubes entering his body here and there. I couldn’t help but feel a familiar prick behind my eyes as I sat down next to him at the only chair in this twilight room. Before I knew my eyes were watery and I stared at him for around five minutes, lost in my thoughts, until I snapped out of it because someone was talking to me all of the sudden.
“Ko…bashi-san?” A silent, weak voice reached my ears and I looked down at him, at his pained features as he continued. “How…did you…?”
He started but I already knew what he was going to ask. “The newspaper, luck and a little bit smartness…that’s how I found you.” I smiled although it was hard for me. “Call me Teru, please.” I twinkled. “And…may I call you Hisashi?” Was my wary question which fortunately caused him to nod with a small grin.
“Ano…you don’t look that good, to be honest. What happened, if I may ask. I’m freakin’ worried!”
“Well…”
He told me everything. How he found out the men who kidnapped his daughter, did the same thing again to another parent’s kid and how he tried to get them by himself. Unfortunately they recognized him instantly and tried to kill him but, THANK GOD, didn’t succeed.
I had my suspicions he didn’t tell me the truth about that call he received last time but I wasn’t about to dig into that because it didn’t matter anymore, at least to me. All I could properly think of now, was he being alive.
I paled and also looked quite shocked during his retelling and I’m sure he again thought how I could take this THAT serious but as it seemed he was at a point he had just accepted that.
But by the end my eyes were wet again and that was what made him eyeing me oddly though.
“Teru…why…?”
“Oh…it’s just…when I think about all of this…if it hadn’t turned out like this I maybe would never have met you again. I’m so relieved you’re alive.” I paused to let this statement sink. A kind of strange silence remained as both of us considered what that could mean.
“But also it…shows me how much you love your daughter…and I’m such a coward, not having tried to keep more in contact with mine.” I added truthfully.
Hisashi shook his head at that. “Well…look what happened. It’s like my wife said as she visited me last time…I was dumb to think I could solve this case on my own. I just almost got myself killed and worried her…and you. It didn’t do anything good…it didn’t bring back my daughter…” A tear made it’s way down his cheek.
He paused for a few moments. “…at least it made my wife seems to somehow understand now that it’s not like I deny it’s my fault…but…that doesn’t make her coming back to me. We’ll have our divorce around spring next year.”
“That’s…” I started and placed a hand at his. ”I’m sorry.” Was the only thing I could think of what caused him to once more shaking his head.
“There’s nothing to be sorry for, Teru. There isn’t anything you could have done…” Hisashi stopped when he had to yawn. “Ah…damn painkiller. I can’t even think properly right now…I’m sorry I’m so tired.” He winced as another gust of pain flashed through his thin body. “But…I’m lucky I don’t have to endure those all the time…” Again there was a yawn but then he looked into my eyes almost desperately.
“Would you…stay for a while? Maybe until I’m asleep? I haven’t had much visitors since weeks.” Was his question and I couldn’t and wouldn’t have even considered saying ‘no’ to that request.
“Sure.” I replied with a smile and inwardly bounced as he smiled back in a way I can’t even describe to you as good as it deserves to be.
“Thank you.” He managed before he shortly after drifted off to sleep.
Haa~, let me tell you, he’s so cute if he’s asleep although all the hospital stuff covering him, although his face was bruised. If you had been there you’d probably seen little hearts within my eyes as I watched him, never letting go of his smooth hand. I don’t know how long I sat there, fighting with my urge to just give in my feelings right then and kiss him until I finally decided to give it a try.
I slowly leaned over and was about to touch those soft lips with mine as I decided I couldn’t do that, couldn’t take advantage of his helplessness and sat back down, a quiet sigh escaping my mouth.
“Ah…what should I do if my love doesn’t recognize…and what should I do if there’s never the right time to tell…tell me what I should do?” I mumbled to myself, sighing once more.
~~~
I think somewhere the night before I must have dozed off due to I was woken up by a nurse the next morning at 6 am (!). Somehow my head must have made it down next to his hand when I got too tired and at the fact I was still holding his hand, I must have done so all night long.
Immediately I sat up and shocked her a bit as well as Hisashi who was already awake, watching me in a way I really wasn’t able to place.
‘Maybe he heard?’ Came to my mind. ‘But he was asleep.’ Was another thought. ‘And what if not…’ I blinked a few times to get rid of those thoughts and then smiled at him.
“How are you doin’?”
“Not that much better…but thank you for being there when I needed someone.” Hisashi said gratefully but then the nurse intervened.
“Mr….?”
“Kobashi!”
“Mr. Kobashi, he needs to be washed right now. Would you please leave the room? You can wait outside.” She told me and with a bow at her and a nod at Hisashi (who was slightly blushing) I left, closing the door behind me.
Fortunately there were a few vacant chairs near his room so I sat down there, burring my face within my hands with a sigh.
“I have to tell him…I can’t do this anymore…when will ever be the right moment?” I mumbled to myself, nearly falling of the chair when a firm hand was put at my shoulder. I looked up immediately to meet the emphatic face of a very tall doctor , blinking a few times at the strange situation.
“Tell him as soon as possible…whatever it might be. There’ll probably never be ‘the right” moment and maybe you’ll regret it if you didn’t do when you have had the chance. I know what I’m talking about.” With that he pulled his hand back and smiled at me in a knowing way, leaving me behind with a nod. ‘What an odd person, that Kubo-san.’ I wondered, shaking my head. ‘But he’s right…’ “Yeah, it’s about time to make sail and finally get this ‘ship’ moving, if it’s dangerous or not.” I encouraged myself and waited for the nurse to enter the corridor and tell me he’s finished. ‘But how am I gonna start?’
~~~
Half an hour later I was standing in front of his bed, sheepishly rubbing the back of my neck as I waited for the nurse to leave finally.
After she closed the door I slowly scurried over and once again sat down at the chair, looking at him all the time. I sighed and then grabbed his hand as I put my thoughts together.
He seemed to apprehend I was about to tell him something important as he watched me expectantly.
“Uhm…I have something to tell you…it’s kind of…difficult for me and I’m afraid of…” I stopped as he smiled at me.
“You know…I think I know already…” Hisashi stated and startled me quite a lot.
“Y-you mean…? Was it that obvious?” I stammered, growing more and more red.
“Kind of…I heard you yesterday…but…” He stopped for a few seconds to consider what would be the best way to tell me.
“…I don’t know what exactly my feelings are right now. So many things happened and I’m just too confused .…I really wasn’t able to think that through until now. It’s not…it’s not that I don’t like you but…I can’t honestly tell you I return your feelings as much as you do. Am…am I making any sense?” He asked quietly, eyeing me a bit insecure.
I nodded and forced a smile although it was pretty hard for me, but at least he was honest and that’s what I appreciated very much…and made me loving him even more. What a dilemma!
“Thank you for your honesty.” I managed and put my gaze down, tears trying to threaten into my eyes but I forced them to stay back.
Slowly I let go of his hand but looked up startled when he grabbed mine this time.
“It’s just…I really like you but I’m not sure if it’s just friendship or…more. I know that’s not what you hoped it would turn out…I’m sorry.” He added.
A few moments it took me to swallow that but then I lifted my gaze, determination glimmering within my eyes. “I won’t give up until you say there’s no hope!” I proudly exclaimed, causing him to chuckle.
“You’re really something.” He said with a laugh but then winced. “Ouch, I shouldn’t laugh anymore.”
“Well, maybe not yet but…later I would like to see your laugh more often.” Was my cheeky reply to this. “Oi~ shall I get us some coffee or something?” I asked then.
“Sure, just make sure I’m not asleep until you return.”
This time it was my turn to chuckle. “I’ll try.”
~~~
Guess what happened after he left the hospital (I visited as often as I was able to)?
Well, you should be able to think of what took place since we’re living in a nice apartment together right now and I think I can say I’m one of the happiest men alive.
After we became lovers I finally put up enough courage to talk to my daughters much more and now we’re meeting up at a regular basis. My former wife and I also come together from time to time and have some nice talking. I’mreally lucky being able to be with a person like him.
As for Hisashi, his divorce wasn’t as bad as it seemed to become because his wife had already calmed down then.
Sure, he still is unhappy about his divorce and his daughter’s death is haunting him in some nights, he waking up bathed in sweat.
But I swore to be always there for him, especially at those moments so Hisashi don’t have to be worried about being alone with his pain. Unfortunately I can’t take off the pain of him, I always wish I could but…
I don’t know what the future will be like but right now I’m happy and enjoy every minute we have. I’m confident we’ll make it!
"Ready go! Be myself
Ready go! Be myself
Ready go! Be myself
Konya ROMANTI~C!
Odore odore motto~ Life is very short!"