she cant get any sleep, because of me
so turns out maybe he's kind of a jerk. Which is kind of hard to believe, but i guess its entirely possible. i didnt know him that well to begin with.
I really hate saying it for fear of sounding like some simple bitter singleton who sits and whines to her friends and feels sorry for herself... but in all sincerity, im getting so tired of being lonely. It's been a year and a half since ive had any real intimacy in my life-- I feel a rut coming on if i dont do something about it, but aside from giving in and letting my zero-chemistry neighbor take me out, or becoming a big artsy lesiban, i honestly have no idea what it is im suppsed to do...
it kinda gets to a certain point where you wonder if maybe theres something wrong with you, and that everyone you know is just too afraid or apatheitic to tell you what it is. I hate feeling like all this. Ive made a very conscious effort this year to stop taking things so personally... when when these things happen to you more than once its kind of hard to pretend theres nothing wrong.
sorry guys. i dont wanna harsh your mellow, man. i wish i wasnt feeling so negative... im just disappointed.
on a more awesome note----
Im going to talk to my advisor some point soon about studying abroad again... Ive been doing some research and im really really into the Semester at Sea program. looks pre-tty badass. it might mean another semester of school... which would suck, but i think it would defeinately be worth it in the end. i dont know. we'll see where that goes.
i wish the rain would stop : (
I really hate saying it for fear of sounding like some simple bitter singleton who sits and whines to her friends and feels sorry for herself... but in all sincerity, im getting so tired of being lonely. It's been a year and a half since ive had any real intimacy in my life-- I feel a rut coming on if i dont do something about it, but aside from giving in and letting my zero-chemistry neighbor take me out, or becoming a big artsy lesiban, i honestly have no idea what it is im suppsed to do...
it kinda gets to a certain point where you wonder if maybe theres something wrong with you, and that everyone you know is just too afraid or apatheitic to tell you what it is. I hate feeling like all this. Ive made a very conscious effort this year to stop taking things so personally... when when these things happen to you more than once its kind of hard to pretend theres nothing wrong.
sorry guys. i dont wanna harsh your mellow, man. i wish i wasnt feeling so negative... im just disappointed.
on a more awesome note----
Im going to talk to my advisor some point soon about studying abroad again... Ive been doing some research and im really really into the Semester at Sea program. looks pre-tty badass. it might mean another semester of school... which would suck, but i think it would defeinately be worth it in the end. i dont know. we'll see where that goes.
i wish the rain would stop : (