open eyes
with six days to go until my late car payment is due, i have no money. my cousin lent me 80 dollars to get my car out of the impound when it got towed. i got locked out of my house, borrowed money from my mom, which i have to pay back. will be late on bills, late on rent, haven't payed insurance in like 4 months. wish i could be rich and far away from responsibility. i have had a shitty last ten days. and the bitching could, but won't continue.
i am a person who has had the privilege of watching someone die. i have seen the irony of a stone cross against a slightly overcast sky, with a beautiful sunshine, and a sweeping movement in the clouds as they race across the sky. the wind blew against my body and my hair danced in the wind like a tatterred cape. i have witnessed the loss of innocence and seen death first hand. i watched a boy breathe his last breath, and seen someone else's blood on my hands. i have been preached to by someone about god at the most ironic of times. i have had faith, and lost i have lost faith. i have seen worthless become priceless. i have seen potential become depressing. i have never looked back. i can't even remember what made me want to be. in sum, i don't remember why not having an answer was fine with me, not that it was fine, but maybe just acceptable. and even if it wasn't that, something that made me happy for the chance. give me a great big hug; one worthy of applause from a wandering aimless band of roving hippies. aren't i pouring my soul out to you computer??? haha, yeah, anyways, i've decided that one of the best professions to have would to be a writer. novelist, author, poet, song writer, something. maybe not. and i'm also tired of hearing about what people wish they had, and yes, i include myself in the group of "people." i am very bored, and i'm pretty sure you can tell that i am not compelled to write anything of true value in this electronic representation of my my feelings. come to my rescue motivation. come and save me from the thoughts i have of what could be but won't. god, i know we haven't spoken in a long time. and i pray to you now, please let me win the lottery without going anywhere, and without buying a ticket. haha, how's that for mocking. neverfrrrrmind, i'll catch you on the flip side. bad astronaut calls me, hello jessica, goodbye staler. i heart ba. you fucking nancies. i am in a very bad mood, right now, anyone want to talk shit back and forth with me?
i am a person who has had the privilege of watching someone die. i have seen the irony of a stone cross against a slightly overcast sky, with a beautiful sunshine, and a sweeping movement in the clouds as they race across the sky. the wind blew against my body and my hair danced in the wind like a tatterred cape. i have witnessed the loss of innocence and seen death first hand. i watched a boy breathe his last breath, and seen someone else's blood on my hands. i have been preached to by someone about god at the most ironic of times. i have had faith, and lost i have lost faith. i have seen worthless become priceless. i have seen potential become depressing. i have never looked back. i can't even remember what made me want to be. in sum, i don't remember why not having an answer was fine with me, not that it was fine, but maybe just acceptable. and even if it wasn't that, something that made me happy for the chance. give me a great big hug; one worthy of applause from a wandering aimless band of roving hippies. aren't i pouring my soul out to you computer??? haha, yeah, anyways, i've decided that one of the best professions to have would to be a writer. novelist, author, poet, song writer, something. maybe not. and i'm also tired of hearing about what people wish they had, and yes, i include myself in the group of "people." i am very bored, and i'm pretty sure you can tell that i am not compelled to write anything of true value in this electronic representation of my my feelings. come to my rescue motivation. come and save me from the thoughts i have of what could be but won't. god, i know we haven't spoken in a long time. and i pray to you now, please let me win the lottery without going anywhere, and without buying a ticket. haha, how's that for mocking. neverfrrrrmind, i'll catch you on the flip side. bad astronaut calls me, hello jessica, goodbye staler. i heart ba. you fucking nancies. i am in a very bad mood, right now, anyone want to talk shit back and forth with me?