[Voice]
Hey there, fellow prisoners, feebs, and dweebs. This is your local residential Merc with a Mouth speaking. The sensation of slaughteration, Deadpool. Now, I’ve been noticing you guys got quite a bit of baddies on your hands here. Oh yeah, I see all those filtered entries you’re making. Don’t want the big bad boogymen to know you’re meeting up with Tom/Sally at the local market ‘cause you think they’ll show up to rub some gum in your hair and embarrass you infront of everyone. See, I normally would be more than happy to throw myself in harms way and take a few broken limbs or ruptured lungs for the team to help ya take care of these guys, but there is a particular seven letter word that is currently hindering my motivation to perform such feats. And that word is Cash-o-la. There isn't any in this dump. Now, I COULD ask for favors in return, but I honestly don’t trust most of you pimple ridden villagers as far as yo overweight mamas can throw ya. And since when I get jipped, scammed, or bamboozled, I start gettin' twitchy to behead some beeyotches, I've decided to avoid this altogether
Instead, I'm going to do something else to help ya out: bombs. Now, I know some of you are from the year caveman, so I’m going to explain what these little spheres of love and happiness are. A bomb is a small little thing you hold in your hand and when you throw it, it goes kablooey. And when it goes kablooey, anyone around it at the time usually goes owie. And when they go owie, they usually go die die soon afterwards. There’s also other kinds too, such as the smoke bomb. It provides smokey cover so you can haul your booty out of dangerous situations. Or the stink bomb. It's kinda like a smoke bomb except it stinks worse than the underside of Jay Leno’s chin. It’s most useful purpose is to put one in your teacher’s toilet if she decides to act up and give you a bad grade. That'll put that broad in her place.
Now that I got all that shinola out the way, who wants to get their grabby little hands on one? ...Oh, I also gots some molotov cocktails lyin' around here if you prefer your bad guys fried and not scrambled.
[ooc:Gonna be a bit slow since I gotta leave in a second! Just throwin' this up before I do! o/]
Instead, I'm going to do something else to help ya out: bombs. Now, I know some of you are from the year caveman, so I’m going to explain what these little spheres of love and happiness are. A bomb is a small little thing you hold in your hand and when you throw it, it goes kablooey. And when it goes kablooey, anyone around it at the time usually goes owie. And when they go owie, they usually go die die soon afterwards. There’s also other kinds too, such as the smoke bomb. It provides smokey cover so you can haul your booty out of dangerous situations. Or the stink bomb. It's kinda like a smoke bomb except it stinks worse than the underside of Jay Leno’s chin. It’s most useful purpose is to put one in your teacher’s toilet if she decides to act up and give you a bad grade. That'll put that broad in her place.
Now that I got all that shinola out the way, who wants to get their grabby little hands on one? ...Oh, I also gots some molotov cocktails lyin' around here if you prefer your bad guys fried and not scrambled.
[ooc:Gonna be a bit slow since I gotta leave in a second! Just throwin' this up before I do! o/]