Chapter 10 - Don't Ever Invite a Vampire Into Your House, It Renders You Powerless
Story Title: For the Love of Bella
Chapter: 10 - Don't Ever Invite a Vampire Into Your House, It Renders You Powerless
Genre: Twilight - Supernatural/Romance
Rating: M
Details: AU, OOC, Cannon Pairings
Summary: "Author Isabella Swan likes to write about the unattainable, Vampire romance. If you can't have it you write about it, right? After years of being alone can a handsome human man show her that truth is better than fiction?"
A/N: I want everyone to know that I take full responsibility for the lateness of this chapter! Prior to us posting chapter 9, Nicky and I talked and we had a plan. We tried really hard to prepare and even wrote chapters in advance so that the reader would never see the break in our updates. However, neither one of us thought that life might have a different plan and that it was going to take me much longer to "get back up on the horse". Please note that it might take a little longer than usual to get chapter 11 posted but we are working on it so don't give up on us yet! So without further ado, here is Chapter 10...finally!
Disclaimer: Nicky and I do not own Twilight or any of its characters, we just like to play with them!
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"Sweet blood on the razor
Is it poetry or politics?
Forget about the nightmare
I'll make it a dream that changes everything"
~Laying Down the Law-INXS/Jimmy Barnes
-:BPOV:-
We visited with the Denalis all night. I sat there brooding in my anger as I tried to be polite and speak only when spoken to. I didn’t want to seem disrespectful or rude, I just wasn't interested in anything they had to say. Up until this point, no one had mentioned anything about vampires having human lovers, but I knew it was coming. I was no fool. I knew this was all Alice’s doing and I was mortified that these strangers knew personal things about me and had travelled all this way to, what exactly, impart their wisdom? It was hard enough living with three perfectly loved-up couples, now my loneliness and pathetic self was cause for an intervention from the Angelina Jolies of the vampire kingdom. Perfect little bitches come to school me in the ways of seduction. My mind started to concoct a way to get three new characters into my next book; three slutty sisters who eventually get decapitated by…by…a pack of wolves. HA! Take that!
Yeah, I was a bit mad. Running away like a psycho from what could possibly be the greatest love story ever in the history of the world had the potential to make you a bit crabby. Apparently, I was also leaning towards over exaggeration, but damn it, I just wanted to be left alone to wallow in my Edwardless existence.
At some point during mid-morning, a black stretched limousine arrived to take Eleazar, Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper out for the day. Esme and Carmen had plans to drive over to Tacoma to look at on old house Esme wanted to renovate which left Alice, Rose and me with the Angelinas - Tanya, Kate, and Irina. Once everyone else was gone, the giggling girl-party began between my two sisters and the three remaining Denali cousins. I was so out of my element with all this so I tried to remain quiet.
“Bella, did you know that Kate, Irina and Tanya were the ones responsible for the original succubus myths?” Alice beamed. I knew exactly where this was going and Alice would pay for her ulterior motives. I began feeling uncomfortable and wished that I could snap my fingers and make them all go away. Or call in my pals, the pack of wolves! I had to sigh in defeat though. As much I was wishing to be saved right now, the absurdity that wolves would be able to harm a hair on a vampire's head was so laughable I knew not one of my readers would buy such bullshit. I think I had to let the puppies rest.
“Men, they are so easily bewitched and they always think with the head in their pants instead of the one on their shoulders,” Kate laughed. Cliché much!
“How do you have intimate relations with human men without your instincts taking over?” Alice asked as she gave me a slight nod, looking pleased with herself.
And there it is, I thought as I let out a heavy sign and rolled my eyes. I folded my arms across my chest and leaned back on the couch, bracing myself for what was next.
Rosalie, clearly seeing my discomfort, suddenly became interested in the story, “Yes, do tell us!” she exclaimed excitedly as she scooted to the edge of her seat.
“Well,” Tanya began, looking over at Kate. “In the beginning, before we had rules, there were a few ‘incidents’,” she said while using air-quotes. Killing a human for your own pleasure is an ‘incident’; I'll have to remember that one!
“Yes, we just couldn’t control ourselves that well,” Irina interjected. “We had no reason to.”
“It was particularly sad when you really cared for the human. Once we tasted the blood, it was almost impossible to stop,” Kate said with a forlorn look in her eyes. “I’ve learned to control myself now, but in the beginning I didn’t know how too.”
“None of us did. But over time we learned how to make it safer and because we do value human life, it helps, it makes it much easier,” Tanya said. “It’s not perfect, and sometimes you do bite, but as long as you don’t break the skin, no harm, no foul!” and they all giggled but me and Kate.
I’m gonna kill Alice when this is over!
“So, Bella,” I looked up from my angry scowl to see Tanya looking right at me. “No mate for you? No one special to share your bed?”
“No, there’s no one,” I answered sharply as my eyes fell and bore into Alice. Please Alice, just keep your fucking mouth shout!
“Well, that’s not entirely true.” My eyes shot up at Rosalie who was sitting there with a devilish grin on her face. It took me by surprise that she even knew about my situation and it also angered me at the same time. It took everything in me not to lunge myself across the room at her and claw her eyes out.
“What Rose means,” Alice began to interject, “is that Bella has found someone, but there are…issues.”
“Alice…” I started before being interrupted.
“Issues?” Irina asked as she looked from Alice to me.
“Oh, I love some good gossip!” Tanya scooted herself to the edge of her seat as her face lit up with excitement. I looked at Tanya, not believing that she had the nerve to talk about me as if I wasn’t sitting in the same room.
“Oh yes, Alice, tell us,” Rosalie’s wicked tone and cynical smile caused my anger to spill over and elicited a small growl from deep in my throat. Unfucking believable!
“Alice, please…” I warned without looking at her. I glanced up at Kate who was staring at me with sympathetic eyes. That’s when I knew there was no stopping this. My secrets were going to be exposed and if I let my anger take over, it would cause unnecessary turmoil between the families. I sat there, feeling as if I were naked without my homework in front of the class, as Alice turned to me.
“Bella, it’s for your own good,” Alice said to me as I closed my eyes, trying to keep my anger at bay but feeling like I would explode. For my own good? Fuck you Alice! FUCK YOU!
I blocked out Alice's words as she began, instead taking my mind back to Edward when I left him in the hotel room. His beautiful green eyes were looking into mine, trying to will me to stay with him. I could hear him again whispering ‘Stay with me…please’ as the hole in my chest threatened to open up again. This wasn't a passing fancy for me, why couldn't anyone see that? Why did I think I had to just sit here and do what everyone else expected of me? This madness was almost unbearable. How much more of this could I possibly take? There was no tactful way to handle being respectful to people while being disrespected in your own home. Something had to give or I was going to lose it! I heard Alice say Edward’s name and it brought me out of my thoughts just in time to hear the end of Alice’s story.
“She left him in Chicago and now she thinks that a life with him isn’t possible,” Alice reached over to squeeze my hand as I moved it way from her grasp.
“Hmmm, so sad…Oh well…anyone care to go shopping?” Rosalie stood up straightening out her dress.
Irina and Tanya stood up with her as Alice gave Rosalie a disgusted look, “I’ll catch up with you later.”
“Suit yourself,” Rosalie then turned with a toss of her hair and motioned for Irina and Tanya to follow her. I was glad to finally see the back of them and once they left Kate quietly dismissed herself to make a call, leaving me and Alice alone in the living room. It was just the break I needed to let her know just how livid I was.
“Alice, how COULD you?” I whispered under my breath as I squeezed my arms around my chest.
“Bella, you are being stubborn and I really think…”
“It’s none of your fucking business!” I growled through clenched teeth.
“But Bella…,” she protested.
“It’s none of your goddamn motherfucking business!!” I was yelling now.
“It is my business when I can see that you are hurting and I know that I can help!” Alice yelled back in protest.
“Help? You call this meddling helping? You have managed to embarrass the fuck out of me in front of a bunch of women I don’t even know, who could give a shit less about me or my situation! Please, tell me how that is fucking helping me Alice!” I jumped up off the couch and began to pace the floor.
“I just thought that if you knew a relationship was possible, if there was an intervention...”
“Intervention? Have you lost your ever-loving mind! Jesus Christ Alice! The only thing that I have learned about relationships with humans from the Denalis is that after hundreds of years of control and practice, they can finally have one without killing them, without 'incidents'!” I continued to shout as I paced back and forth across the floor. My hand came up to grip my forehead as the other rest impatiently on my hip.
“But Bella…my visions tell me that you two will be together and happy,” Alice protested as she stood up and began to wring her hands.
I started laughing, “Your visions!” I continued to laugh as I managed to continue, “your visions are flawed Alice! You know this!! If I made the decision to kill him, your visions would show you something totally different. You would see me murdering him and see me living an eternity of self-loathing and regret, so it doesn’t fucking matter what you saw!”
“It does matter! He loves you!!” Alice screamed and I froze in my tracks. It couldn’t possibly be true!
“Take it back,” I challenged as I felt my chest trying to constrict again. It just couldn’t be true.
“No! I will not!” she said as she walked around the coffee table.
“Alice, he is not in love with me, take it back!” I growled as my arms fell to my sides with my fists clinched. I didn’t want him to love me, I didn’t want to hurt him. If he really loved me, my leaving would all be so much worse for him. I knew I loved him, but vampire feelings are different, human’s usually shy away from loving too quickly.
“I can’t take it back because it’s true,” she said with a grin on her face. That was it! Everything went red and my body lunged forward. Edward couldn’t love me, he had to move on, she had to take it back, and she had to make it not true. I don’t know what I was thinking trying to attack Alice, she knew my actions before I did of course and stepped sideways leaving me to hit the floor. This only pissed me off further. I was so angry and frustrated! “I’m not going to fight you Bella. I know you're upset but you won’t get anywhere this way.” I crouched to lunge again when I felt two hands touch me, sending jolts of electricity through me. I instantly went down to the ground feeling the numbing currents rendering me helpless.
“I’m sorry Bella,” I looked up from the floor at Kate who was standing over me.”I know how you feel, I’ve been there too, but Alice is right, this isn’t the answer.”
“How…how did you do that?” I asked as I slowly sat up trying to get the use of my muscles again.
“It’s my gift. I have perfected it over the years.” Kate smiled at me as she offered me her hand to help me off the floor. I was leery at first to take it but then I smiled, gripped her hand firmly, and let her pull me off the floor.
I suddenly felt like an idiot. I knew attacking Alice didn’t solve anything. She could see my plan just as I thought it out, so it was really stupid to think I would actually be able to hit her. I had acted like a child and I wasn’t sure what had come over me. It was one thing to argue, but fighting? That was just not like me. I walked over to Alice and told her I was sorry. I was still aggravated at her meddling but what’s done is done. She just smiled and threw her arms around me, nearly knocking me back down to the ground. I was still feeling a little weak from Kate’s jolt.
“I really do think we need to talk about your situation. I think I might be able to help,” Katie smiled. “That is, if you are open to the idea.”
I looked at Alice and then to Kate as I sighed and gave in. I was tired of fighting this, and I really didn't want to fight this if truth be told. I was a fool to think that I could ever make it through life without Edward now that I had had a taste, a taste that I would never forget for more reasons than my perfect vampire recollection. It's one thing to not know what you are missing, to only imagine the love or the touch of another, but to have it and lose it so quickly in just the blink of an eye, to have your heart soar to such heights and then just…just…run away like I did. What was I thinking? It was right there, he was right there, kissing me and asking me not to leave…
If there was even a small possibility for us to be together, I wanted to jump at it, to grab it with both hands and never let it go. I would listen to what Kate had to say, so I nodded my head as we sat down again to talk.
Kate told me about how we can take steps to desensitize ourselves to the bloodlust so it can be possible to control the need for our lover’s blood. I had to start with being close until it felt almost overpowering, then back away until I was comfortable enough to pick up where I left off, and so on. You continue with the baby steps until you are in full control of the urges. I didn't think it would be simple at all, but in hearing it from a woman who had lived with it for such a long time, it made it all less of a fairytale.
“We have already kissed…twice,” I admitted, and it felt good to let it out.
“Really, that’s fantastic!” Kate said as she smiled. “It could very well be that since you have never had human blood, it might not be as hard for you.”
Alice leaned over and bumped me with her shoulder and I gave her a shy smile. I would have to apologize for swearing at her, but I wish she had just seen Kate speaking with me and not the other two sisters.
There was still one problem with this plan though, and it was a big one - Edward still didn’t know I was a vampire. Being with him under false pretenses would be the same as lying to him, and I couldn’t be intimate with him under the illusion that I was…normal. I just didn't think it would be fair to him to not get the chance to choose. That was a definite deal-breaker for me, choice had been taken away from me two decades ago and I had had a lot of time to ponder the virtues of it. If hope could float, mine just sank with the weight of that reality.
“There is a problem with all of this,” I said as Kate and Alice turned to me. “He still doesn’t know what I am.”
“Well, that’s OK Bella, he doesn’t have to know” Kate said trying to give me encouragement.
“No Kate, I can’t do that. It would be a lie,” I said as I shook my head, sinking back down into my disparity. “I know that the laws governing our kind keep us from revealing ourselves to humans and we can have relationships with them as long as we never tell our secret. But it would be wrong to be with Edward like that, and I won't lie to him, I won't take his choices away from him for my own selfish reasons.”
“You really do love him, don’t you?” Kate said as she smiled at me.
“There’s not going to be much to tell,” I heard Alice say suddenly, her eyes all glazed over. She was staring straight ahead and not blinking and I knew what was happening - she was having another vision. When she was like this, her lips would move but the rest of her face didn’t budge.
“What do you see Alice?” I asked as Kate and I stole a look at each other and then back at Alice.
“Edward’s discovering…he thinks he’s found the answer, he wants to believe but it is difficult for him. He’s on his way home. He knows or at least suspects what you are, that you are a vampire, but his mind hasn’t fully accepted it, not until he talks to you…,” Alice’s voice trailed off as she started to blink and come back from her vision. I just sat there with my mouth open, not really knowing what to say. I suddenly remembered the letter I had left with Erin at The Roasted Seed. I had to get that back! If Edward read that letter he would think that I didn’t want him.
“Alice! I left a letter for Edward…” Alice interrupted me.
“He won’t get it,” she smiled, giving me a knowing look.
“What? Why, I gave….Erin threw it away?” I whispered, and Alice nodded. Little did Erin know that in doing that she really was helping me instead of hindering me. Funny how things worked out like that. Funny how women are skanks like that! I remembered Edward telling me a bit about Erin, how he trusted her and valued her friendship, and felt a closeness to her like she was his sister. I briefly wondered if this was the only thing she had duped him over.
“Bella, you just need to wait, he will find you and soon, but you will have to be patient and let him ask you the questions. Don’t worry, he’s eager to know the truth, he will ask the right ones, so you won’t have to come out and tell him anything,” Alice said.
“Let me also warn you Bella that if you plan to do this with Edward, you need to be sure." Kate added in a hushed tone. "Humans are naturally attracted to us, we are so much more desirable to them then we are to our own kind. If you don’t plan on a long term relationship with Edward, you could completely destroy him if you ever left him. Once you begin the relationship and make love to a human, they will never leave you and if you change him into a vampire, that bond is a thousand times stronger than any bond with our own kind. You will need to be positive that he is the right one before you go any further.” She was next to me now, the caring in her voice evident as she touched my shoulder.
“I don’t know if I can change him,” I admitted. “I don’t know if I want to. I don’t know if I could take his life and make him give up everything for me. He has friends; he owns a coffee shop that he loves…” I paused as I thought of Edward running around the coffee shop with this long white apron wrapped around his waist. He was always happy in this vision I had of him. Seeing him like that always put a smile on my face, but not today, not with the inferences of ending his life and taking everything from him hanging in the air.
“Well, that is something that the two of you will need to decide,” Kate said as Alice squeezed my hand. “It’s not just your choice. He just might have to take a hiatus for a year and then be right back in the shop loving life all over again with the love of his life beside him.” Her manner was so warm and affectionate, she knew the enormity of what we were discussing and I think I was really beginning to love Kate for her compassion.
Kate and Alice left me to my thoughts as they talked quietly amongst themselves. The thought of Edward dying, even if to become a vampire, sickened me. I couldn’t let him do that. I didn’t want him to give up his friends and the business that he loved, give up any chance of a normal life. But what if it were possible, and he could be happy as a vampire and still have his life for a while, I think I could be happy with that. But what if I did try to change him and it went horribly wrong? What if I couldn’t stop myself and I killed him? I closed my eyes as a strange feeling shot through my body, pain I think. I hadn't felt any physical pain in such a long time, but this was different, this was that sickening feeling in my stomach, intensified; this was heartache. I remembered what it felt like when I died and became a vampire. I would never forget the horrible burning that had consumed me with no relief and no escape. The thought of Edward enduring something so horrible…
“Alice, I don’t think Irina mentioned it, but she has found a mate,” I heard Kate say as I turned to look at Alice and Kate who were still engrossed in conversation. “His name is Laurent, and they are absolutely perfect for each other. I think she may even be in love.”
“That’s fantastic! Where did she meet him?” Alice asked.
“He was traveling with some nomads and they came across us one night while we were out on a hunt. Laurent eagerly decided to stay behind, he found our lifestyle fascinating. He said that the other two he had been traveling with, James and Victoria, were ravenous, like a pack of dogs, with no respect for their prey.” Kate said. My head shot up when Kate mentioned James and Victoria. Alice squeezed my hand again as I felt something like a cold chill come over my body. I had not mentioned or heard their names in nearly twenty years. I was always told that over time, you tend to forget the way you were “reborn” in to vampirism. I guess I was one of those types who never forgot.
“Bella, it’s OK. You’re safe,” Alice whispered as she put her arm around me. I felt my mind start to spin as different emotions began rushing through my senses.
“What’s going on?” Kate asked concerned.
Alice told Kate the story about the night James and Victoria hunted me down in the dark alley. Alice told her how Emmett had heard my screams and they all came running, saving me from one death and delivering me into another. James and Victoria had fled and no one had seen or heard from them since that night. Remembering all of that horror made the situation with Edward even more difficult. I didn’t want to become that for Edward. I didn’t want him to fear me or resent me for taking his life. Even if Edward did know what I was, I didn’t want to be the one that would end his life.
I got up from the couch and dismissed myself to my room where I sat in an immovable and contemplative state for hours. My mind searched out every viable solution I could think of, but somehow, I would still end up to the same place. I started considering packing up everything and leaving. It would be hard to be on my own but at least it would keep Edward safe, and alive. I still found it hard to believe that he had been able to figure out what I was. I was so confused and didn’t know what to do. I wanted Edward with every fiber of my being. I knew I was in love with him but I was being selfish in hoping that he could possibly reciprocate that love for me knowing what I was. To ask someone to give up everything, to give themselves to one person completely for love, and then to take their life…how could I ask Edward to do that? I couldn’t, I wouldn’t.
I thought about the deer I fed on when I was alone in the forest the day I came home from Chicago. I remembered how it had struggled so helplessly under my hands, the soft cries it made as it lost the fight for its life echoed in my head. My mind then flashed to visions of Edward, lying before me, drained of blood. His expressionless face was empty and dark, as his emotionless eyes stared up at me. I shuddered as I tried to shake the image from my mind. “Not by my hand!” I growled as I pounded my fist into my pillow.
It had become dark outside and I found myself still sitting alone in my room trying to pull myself out of my mental ramblings. Time had begun to have no meaning for me anymore. It used to matter to me and now, it just didn’t. I was living out my sentence of eternity with blinders on until I met Edward. Now, to have been shown those little slivers of what my life could be like with him in it made me want to be with him that much more. He was so funny the other night when I was trying to get him into my hotel room to take care of him. I wished that I wouldn’t have left him that morning. I just didn’t know what else to do but run.
I heard the shuffling of feet outside in the hallway bringing me out of my thoughts as I looked toward my bedroom door. I tried to focus on who was outside my door when the movement stopped and I heard a gentle knock.
“What?” I snapped, not really wanting to talk to anyone.
“Geez Bella, chill out.” My door opened and I was shocked to see Rosalie letting herself in my room.
“Get out!” I growled as she turned on my desk lamp.
She paused as she turned to look at me, cocking her head to the side, “No.”
“What do you want Rosalie? I am in no mood for your bullshit,” I said as I stood up, preparing myself for another fight.
“Oh sit down and quit getting your panties in a twist!” she said as she sat down on my bed and patted her hand on the comforter, silently asking me to sit down with her. I cautiously sat back down as Rosalie poised herself to talk. “It’s no big secret that I don’t like you.”
“Humph, that’s an understatement,” I said sarcastically.
“Well you don’t like me either so no big deal,” she flicked her blond hair. “Anyway, I am not here to state the obvious, I am here to tell you why I don’t like you.”
“Oh joy! And I thought we were going to have a warm fuzzy hallmark moment!” I rolled my eyes at her.
Rosalie pursed her lips and folded her hands across her chest. “Whatever,” she huffed as she tried to hide a smile. “Do you want to hear this or not?”
“Sure…why not?”
“The night that we found you, when those two nomads were feeding on you, I thought we should have left you, even though I knew you wouldn’t have made it as a newborn without our help, but Emmett wouldn’t have it. He went running in there, arms swinging, with the rest of the family in tow...well, everyone but me. He scooped you up in his arms and begged Carlisle to save you just like I had done with him, and I was pissed. He didn’t know the change would happen by itself, he thought you were going to die if we left you. I thought our family was perfect and didn’t need another person in it, especially an unpaired female.” Rosalie paused for just a moment taking a deep breath she didn’t need, and surprisingly looking a little pained at what she was about to say next. “You see, I chose Emmett, he didn’t choose me. And even though I know he loves me, when he decided he wanted to save you, I was jealous because I felt like he was choosing you.”
“It's not like that Rose,” I said, trying to downplay her fear while at the same time absolutely shocked that she was telling me she was jealous. Of me!
“I know it's not, but it is the principle of the matter, I can’t help but be jealous. I watched you like a hawk. I hated you because he cared that much about you. Even now, you have some deep connection with him that I feel like I could never have.” Rosalie looked back up at me with a fiery intensity in her eyes. I could tell that it was eating away at her and yet it amazed me that someone as beautiful as Rosalie could be that jealous of anyone, let alone me.
“Trust me when I say that you have nothing to be jealous about. We are just friends.”
“Whatever,” she said again as she waved her hand in the air. “I still don’t like you.” She glanced back at me with a smirk on her face. Right then I knew that Rosalie was saying her peace and she was happy with the way things were between us. She didn’t like me, I didn’t like her, and both of us were cool with that.
“Well, I don’t like you either,” I smiled as Rosalie got up off the bed. She headed toward my door where she paused and turned around.
“By the way, I am sorry for what I did downstairs earlier today. Sometimes my inner bitch just takes over and I can’t help myself.”
“Sometimes?” I rolled my eyes at her again as I smiled.
“Oh, and you should know that your Edward is back in town.” At the mere mention of Edward’s name, my senses tingled.
“How do you know that?” I asked as my brow furrowed, trying to understand how it was possible that Rosalie knew anything about Edward.
“The girls and I were curious so we stopped by just in time to see him leaving that coffee shop,” she paused and looked up as if she was pondering something as her finger tapped against her chin. “Hmmm…The Roasted Seed is it?” A wicked grin fell across her face as she looked me straight in the eyes. I felt the rage building up inside of me as I jumped up off of the bed again.
“Rose…” I started but she held her hand up to stop me.
“Nothing happened, we just watched from the car, but I am telling you now, if you don’t do something about that little hottie, I know for a fact that Tanya is more than willing to take him off your hands. Bitch thinks she’s God’s gift! See, that pisses me off and I just can’t let that happen,” Rosalie said as she put her hand on the doorknob. “I may not like you Isabella but…GRRR!” and with that she was gone.
I was left in a wake of shock, disbelief, and agitation. I couldn’t believe Rosalie, after twenty years of living under the same roof she finally told me why she hated me so much. I guess I could see her point but it was senseless. Emmett was nothing more to me than a big brother. I loved him but it wasn’t anything sexual. I moved all of that aside and focused on what Rosalie had just told me about Tanya. There was no doubt that if Tanya laid one finger on Edward I would break her in half! Fuck respect! She had no right! Who does she think she is anyway? I was mad; no, I was beyond mad, I was fucking pissed! I started pacing in my room, letting my anger burn inside of me. How dare she! Did she honestly think that I would just sit back and hand Edward over to her on a silver platter? I continued to pace back and forth becoming more infuriated by the minute. I started to see images of Edward and Tanya together in my mind as the rage and jealously took over my senses.
Before I was aware of my own actions, I was out my bedroom door and down the stairs ready to pounce on Tanya, when Emmett stepped in between us and picked me up off the ground in a bear hug. I fought against him as he dragged me out of the living room where Tanya, her sisters, my sisters, and Esme were all sitting with Carmen. He pulled me through the kitchen and into the den where Jasper, Carlisle, and Eleazar were visiting. I was kicking and flailing my arms like a mad woman, trying to get away from Emmett so I could get my hands on Tanya.
“Let me go!! Do you hear me?! Put me down damn it!” Emmett moved us around the couch as he sat me down, holding me in place. I was still fighting to get up when Jasper stepped in and my body went limp as my mind went fuzzy. I looked up at Emmett and smiled lazily at him, feeling myself fall back against the couch cushions. My eyes slowly trailed from Jasper and Carlisle, to Eleazar, then back to Emmett. I began to giggle a little as my mind reached a heightened euphoric state. I felt my eyes roll back in my head as my arms and legs got heavy. I didn’t feel like fighting anymore, I just wanted to float on this beautiful cloud and feel nothing.
“Jasper, I think you need to take it down a notch,” Carlisle said as I felt someone lift my eye lids.
“Bella’s stoned!” Emmett chuckled.
“Shhhuuut…uuup” I whined as I tried to punch his shoulder.
“Is Bella alright?” I heard Esme’s voice as I felt myself coming down a little from the high Jasper had me in.
“Mom!” I exclaimed as I tried to sit up.
“Oh no you don’t,” Emmett said as he gently pushed me back down to the couch.
“Carlisle, I can see this is a family matter so I will give you some time to take care of your daughter,” Eleazar dismissed himself quietly. I watched him leave as Alice and Rosalie came into the room.
“What happened?” Alice asked, looking around at the other members of the family.
“I know,” Rosalie spoke up.
“Rose knows,” I repeated with a giggle.
“Jasper, you might want to take it down a little more,” Carlisle suggested, and then all eyes were on Rosalie as she told her story about Tanya and Edward. Listening to her speak reminded me why I was downstairs in the first place.
“I’m gonna kill her!” I said as I started to regain my wits, but just as soon as I started to sit up I was hit again with another blast from Jasper.
“Rose, you didn’t?” I heard Alice say as I tried to remain coherent.
“That was a shit thing to do Rose,” Emmett said as he sat down on the couch next to my legs.
“I told her I was sorry,” Rosalie complained as if it were no big deal.
“I’m going to go talk to Eleazar. He will understand and make the suggestion to his family to leave to keep it from coming to blows,” Carlisle said to all of us and then looked at me and smiled. “Bella I’m sorry. It’s Tanya’s nature to be like that. Please don’t be angry,” he patted my hand and left with Esme.
Finally feeling a little more balanced, I looked at Emmett, “I made a mess of things didn’t I?”
“I wouldn’t say you did,” Emmett said casting an angry glance at Rosalie.
“Whatever!” Rosalie huffed and turned on her heel as she stomped out of the den. Emmett shook his head and then smiled warily at me.
“Jasper, can you back off of the mind trip? I think the big pink elephant is starting to scare me,” I requested as I tried to sit up again.
“No, that’s just Emmett,” Jasper chucked as I felt the sedation ease up even further.
“Watch it,” Emmett warned as he helped me to my feet. I was starting to feel more like myself as Jasper allowed his emotional cloud to lift off of me.
“Jasper, I don’t know if you want to let her go completely,” Alice warned as we all looked at her. She was staring blankly for just a moment and then looked back at me. “You’re going to have company…soon.”
“Edward?” I whispered.
“Yes,” Alice paused and took a moment to look me over, “and no offense Bella, but you look like shit. Get up, we have less than hour.” She pulled me up off the couch and began to drag me up the back stairwell as she gave directions to Emmett and Jasper about alerting the family to Edward’s arrival and getting the Denalis out of here.
Once we were in my room, I sat on my bed as Alice went to work. My mind wandered as she combed through my hair and we waited for Edward’s arrival. Edward is coming for me, I smiled to myself as I felt the bristles of the brush pull through the knots in my hair. I knew this was it. This would be the turning point if there was ever to be a life for me and Edward. If there was any chance at making this work, I would need to answer all of his questions no matter how difficult, and if he still wanted me knowing the full truth, then I would be his, for as long as he would have me.
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Chapter: 10 - Don't Ever Invite a Vampire Into Your House, It Renders You Powerless
Genre: Twilight - Supernatural/Romance
Rating: M
Details: AU, OOC, Cannon Pairings
Summary: "Author Isabella Swan likes to write about the unattainable, Vampire romance. If you can't have it you write about it, right? After years of being alone can a handsome human man show her that truth is better than fiction?"
A/N: I want everyone to know that I take full responsibility for the lateness of this chapter! Prior to us posting chapter 9, Nicky and I talked and we had a plan. We tried really hard to prepare and even wrote chapters in advance so that the reader would never see the break in our updates. However, neither one of us thought that life might have a different plan and that it was going to take me much longer to "get back up on the horse". Please note that it might take a little longer than usual to get chapter 11 posted but we are working on it so don't give up on us yet! So without further ado, here is Chapter 10...finally!
Disclaimer: Nicky and I do not own Twilight or any of its characters, we just like to play with them!
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"Sweet blood on the razor
Is it poetry or politics?
Forget about the nightmare
I'll make it a dream that changes everything"
~Laying Down the Law-INXS/Jimmy Barnes
-:BPOV:-
We visited with the Denalis all night. I sat there brooding in my anger as I tried to be polite and speak only when spoken to. I didn’t want to seem disrespectful or rude, I just wasn't interested in anything they had to say. Up until this point, no one had mentioned anything about vampires having human lovers, but I knew it was coming. I was no fool. I knew this was all Alice’s doing and I was mortified that these strangers knew personal things about me and had travelled all this way to, what exactly, impart their wisdom? It was hard enough living with three perfectly loved-up couples, now my loneliness and pathetic self was cause for an intervention from the Angelina Jolies of the vampire kingdom. Perfect little bitches come to school me in the ways of seduction. My mind started to concoct a way to get three new characters into my next book; three slutty sisters who eventually get decapitated by…by…a pack of wolves. HA! Take that!
Yeah, I was a bit mad. Running away like a psycho from what could possibly be the greatest love story ever in the history of the world had the potential to make you a bit crabby. Apparently, I was also leaning towards over exaggeration, but damn it, I just wanted to be left alone to wallow in my Edwardless existence.
At some point during mid-morning, a black stretched limousine arrived to take Eleazar, Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper out for the day. Esme and Carmen had plans to drive over to Tacoma to look at on old house Esme wanted to renovate which left Alice, Rose and me with the Angelinas - Tanya, Kate, and Irina. Once everyone else was gone, the giggling girl-party began between my two sisters and the three remaining Denali cousins. I was so out of my element with all this so I tried to remain quiet.
“Bella, did you know that Kate, Irina and Tanya were the ones responsible for the original succubus myths?” Alice beamed. I knew exactly where this was going and Alice would pay for her ulterior motives. I began feeling uncomfortable and wished that I could snap my fingers and make them all go away. Or call in my pals, the pack of wolves! I had to sigh in defeat though. As much I was wishing to be saved right now, the absurdity that wolves would be able to harm a hair on a vampire's head was so laughable I knew not one of my readers would buy such bullshit. I think I had to let the puppies rest.
“Men, they are so easily bewitched and they always think with the head in their pants instead of the one on their shoulders,” Kate laughed. Cliché much!
“How do you have intimate relations with human men without your instincts taking over?” Alice asked as she gave me a slight nod, looking pleased with herself.
And there it is, I thought as I let out a heavy sign and rolled my eyes. I folded my arms across my chest and leaned back on the couch, bracing myself for what was next.
Rosalie, clearly seeing my discomfort, suddenly became interested in the story, “Yes, do tell us!” she exclaimed excitedly as she scooted to the edge of her seat.
“Well,” Tanya began, looking over at Kate. “In the beginning, before we had rules, there were a few ‘incidents’,” she said while using air-quotes. Killing a human for your own pleasure is an ‘incident’; I'll have to remember that one!
“Yes, we just couldn’t control ourselves that well,” Irina interjected. “We had no reason to.”
“It was particularly sad when you really cared for the human. Once we tasted the blood, it was almost impossible to stop,” Kate said with a forlorn look in her eyes. “I’ve learned to control myself now, but in the beginning I didn’t know how too.”
“None of us did. But over time we learned how to make it safer and because we do value human life, it helps, it makes it much easier,” Tanya said. “It’s not perfect, and sometimes you do bite, but as long as you don’t break the skin, no harm, no foul!” and they all giggled but me and Kate.
I’m gonna kill Alice when this is over!
“So, Bella,” I looked up from my angry scowl to see Tanya looking right at me. “No mate for you? No one special to share your bed?”
“No, there’s no one,” I answered sharply as my eyes fell and bore into Alice. Please Alice, just keep your fucking mouth shout!
“Well, that’s not entirely true.” My eyes shot up at Rosalie who was sitting there with a devilish grin on her face. It took me by surprise that she even knew about my situation and it also angered me at the same time. It took everything in me not to lunge myself across the room at her and claw her eyes out.
“What Rose means,” Alice began to interject, “is that Bella has found someone, but there are…issues.”
“Alice…” I started before being interrupted.
“Issues?” Irina asked as she looked from Alice to me.
“Oh, I love some good gossip!” Tanya scooted herself to the edge of her seat as her face lit up with excitement. I looked at Tanya, not believing that she had the nerve to talk about me as if I wasn’t sitting in the same room.
“Oh yes, Alice, tell us,” Rosalie’s wicked tone and cynical smile caused my anger to spill over and elicited a small growl from deep in my throat. Unfucking believable!
“Alice, please…” I warned without looking at her. I glanced up at Kate who was staring at me with sympathetic eyes. That’s when I knew there was no stopping this. My secrets were going to be exposed and if I let my anger take over, it would cause unnecessary turmoil between the families. I sat there, feeling as if I were naked without my homework in front of the class, as Alice turned to me.
“Bella, it’s for your own good,” Alice said to me as I closed my eyes, trying to keep my anger at bay but feeling like I would explode. For my own good? Fuck you Alice! FUCK YOU!
I blocked out Alice's words as she began, instead taking my mind back to Edward when I left him in the hotel room. His beautiful green eyes were looking into mine, trying to will me to stay with him. I could hear him again whispering ‘Stay with me…please’ as the hole in my chest threatened to open up again. This wasn't a passing fancy for me, why couldn't anyone see that? Why did I think I had to just sit here and do what everyone else expected of me? This madness was almost unbearable. How much more of this could I possibly take? There was no tactful way to handle being respectful to people while being disrespected in your own home. Something had to give or I was going to lose it! I heard Alice say Edward’s name and it brought me out of my thoughts just in time to hear the end of Alice’s story.
“She left him in Chicago and now she thinks that a life with him isn’t possible,” Alice reached over to squeeze my hand as I moved it way from her grasp.
“Hmmm, so sad…Oh well…anyone care to go shopping?” Rosalie stood up straightening out her dress.
Irina and Tanya stood up with her as Alice gave Rosalie a disgusted look, “I’ll catch up with you later.”
“Suit yourself,” Rosalie then turned with a toss of her hair and motioned for Irina and Tanya to follow her. I was glad to finally see the back of them and once they left Kate quietly dismissed herself to make a call, leaving me and Alice alone in the living room. It was just the break I needed to let her know just how livid I was.
“Alice, how COULD you?” I whispered under my breath as I squeezed my arms around my chest.
“Bella, you are being stubborn and I really think…”
“It’s none of your fucking business!” I growled through clenched teeth.
“But Bella…,” she protested.
“It’s none of your goddamn motherfucking business!!” I was yelling now.
“It is my business when I can see that you are hurting and I know that I can help!” Alice yelled back in protest.
“Help? You call this meddling helping? You have managed to embarrass the fuck out of me in front of a bunch of women I don’t even know, who could give a shit less about me or my situation! Please, tell me how that is fucking helping me Alice!” I jumped up off the couch and began to pace the floor.
“I just thought that if you knew a relationship was possible, if there was an intervention...”
“Intervention? Have you lost your ever-loving mind! Jesus Christ Alice! The only thing that I have learned about relationships with humans from the Denalis is that after hundreds of years of control and practice, they can finally have one without killing them, without 'incidents'!” I continued to shout as I paced back and forth across the floor. My hand came up to grip my forehead as the other rest impatiently on my hip.
“But Bella…my visions tell me that you two will be together and happy,” Alice protested as she stood up and began to wring her hands.
I started laughing, “Your visions!” I continued to laugh as I managed to continue, “your visions are flawed Alice! You know this!! If I made the decision to kill him, your visions would show you something totally different. You would see me murdering him and see me living an eternity of self-loathing and regret, so it doesn’t fucking matter what you saw!”
“It does matter! He loves you!!” Alice screamed and I froze in my tracks. It couldn’t possibly be true!
“Take it back,” I challenged as I felt my chest trying to constrict again. It just couldn’t be true.
“No! I will not!” she said as she walked around the coffee table.
“Alice, he is not in love with me, take it back!” I growled as my arms fell to my sides with my fists clinched. I didn’t want him to love me, I didn’t want to hurt him. If he really loved me, my leaving would all be so much worse for him. I knew I loved him, but vampire feelings are different, human’s usually shy away from loving too quickly.
“I can’t take it back because it’s true,” she said with a grin on her face. That was it! Everything went red and my body lunged forward. Edward couldn’t love me, he had to move on, she had to take it back, and she had to make it not true. I don’t know what I was thinking trying to attack Alice, she knew my actions before I did of course and stepped sideways leaving me to hit the floor. This only pissed me off further. I was so angry and frustrated! “I’m not going to fight you Bella. I know you're upset but you won’t get anywhere this way.” I crouched to lunge again when I felt two hands touch me, sending jolts of electricity through me. I instantly went down to the ground feeling the numbing currents rendering me helpless.
“I’m sorry Bella,” I looked up from the floor at Kate who was standing over me.”I know how you feel, I’ve been there too, but Alice is right, this isn’t the answer.”
“How…how did you do that?” I asked as I slowly sat up trying to get the use of my muscles again.
“It’s my gift. I have perfected it over the years.” Kate smiled at me as she offered me her hand to help me off the floor. I was leery at first to take it but then I smiled, gripped her hand firmly, and let her pull me off the floor.
I suddenly felt like an idiot. I knew attacking Alice didn’t solve anything. She could see my plan just as I thought it out, so it was really stupid to think I would actually be able to hit her. I had acted like a child and I wasn’t sure what had come over me. It was one thing to argue, but fighting? That was just not like me. I walked over to Alice and told her I was sorry. I was still aggravated at her meddling but what’s done is done. She just smiled and threw her arms around me, nearly knocking me back down to the ground. I was still feeling a little weak from Kate’s jolt.
“I really do think we need to talk about your situation. I think I might be able to help,” Katie smiled. “That is, if you are open to the idea.”
I looked at Alice and then to Kate as I sighed and gave in. I was tired of fighting this, and I really didn't want to fight this if truth be told. I was a fool to think that I could ever make it through life without Edward now that I had had a taste, a taste that I would never forget for more reasons than my perfect vampire recollection. It's one thing to not know what you are missing, to only imagine the love or the touch of another, but to have it and lose it so quickly in just the blink of an eye, to have your heart soar to such heights and then just…just…run away like I did. What was I thinking? It was right there, he was right there, kissing me and asking me not to leave…
If there was even a small possibility for us to be together, I wanted to jump at it, to grab it with both hands and never let it go. I would listen to what Kate had to say, so I nodded my head as we sat down again to talk.
Kate told me about how we can take steps to desensitize ourselves to the bloodlust so it can be possible to control the need for our lover’s blood. I had to start with being close until it felt almost overpowering, then back away until I was comfortable enough to pick up where I left off, and so on. You continue with the baby steps until you are in full control of the urges. I didn't think it would be simple at all, but in hearing it from a woman who had lived with it for such a long time, it made it all less of a fairytale.
“We have already kissed…twice,” I admitted, and it felt good to let it out.
“Really, that’s fantastic!” Kate said as she smiled. “It could very well be that since you have never had human blood, it might not be as hard for you.”
Alice leaned over and bumped me with her shoulder and I gave her a shy smile. I would have to apologize for swearing at her, but I wish she had just seen Kate speaking with me and not the other two sisters.
There was still one problem with this plan though, and it was a big one - Edward still didn’t know I was a vampire. Being with him under false pretenses would be the same as lying to him, and I couldn’t be intimate with him under the illusion that I was…normal. I just didn't think it would be fair to him to not get the chance to choose. That was a definite deal-breaker for me, choice had been taken away from me two decades ago and I had had a lot of time to ponder the virtues of it. If hope could float, mine just sank with the weight of that reality.
“There is a problem with all of this,” I said as Kate and Alice turned to me. “He still doesn’t know what I am.”
“Well, that’s OK Bella, he doesn’t have to know” Kate said trying to give me encouragement.
“No Kate, I can’t do that. It would be a lie,” I said as I shook my head, sinking back down into my disparity. “I know that the laws governing our kind keep us from revealing ourselves to humans and we can have relationships with them as long as we never tell our secret. But it would be wrong to be with Edward like that, and I won't lie to him, I won't take his choices away from him for my own selfish reasons.”
“You really do love him, don’t you?” Kate said as she smiled at me.
“There’s not going to be much to tell,” I heard Alice say suddenly, her eyes all glazed over. She was staring straight ahead and not blinking and I knew what was happening - she was having another vision. When she was like this, her lips would move but the rest of her face didn’t budge.
“What do you see Alice?” I asked as Kate and I stole a look at each other and then back at Alice.
“Edward’s discovering…he thinks he’s found the answer, he wants to believe but it is difficult for him. He’s on his way home. He knows or at least suspects what you are, that you are a vampire, but his mind hasn’t fully accepted it, not until he talks to you…,” Alice’s voice trailed off as she started to blink and come back from her vision. I just sat there with my mouth open, not really knowing what to say. I suddenly remembered the letter I had left with Erin at The Roasted Seed. I had to get that back! If Edward read that letter he would think that I didn’t want him.
“Alice! I left a letter for Edward…” Alice interrupted me.
“He won’t get it,” she smiled, giving me a knowing look.
“What? Why, I gave….Erin threw it away?” I whispered, and Alice nodded. Little did Erin know that in doing that she really was helping me instead of hindering me. Funny how things worked out like that. Funny how women are skanks like that! I remembered Edward telling me a bit about Erin, how he trusted her and valued her friendship, and felt a closeness to her like she was his sister. I briefly wondered if this was the only thing she had duped him over.
“Bella, you just need to wait, he will find you and soon, but you will have to be patient and let him ask you the questions. Don’t worry, he’s eager to know the truth, he will ask the right ones, so you won’t have to come out and tell him anything,” Alice said.
“Let me also warn you Bella that if you plan to do this with Edward, you need to be sure." Kate added in a hushed tone. "Humans are naturally attracted to us, we are so much more desirable to them then we are to our own kind. If you don’t plan on a long term relationship with Edward, you could completely destroy him if you ever left him. Once you begin the relationship and make love to a human, they will never leave you and if you change him into a vampire, that bond is a thousand times stronger than any bond with our own kind. You will need to be positive that he is the right one before you go any further.” She was next to me now, the caring in her voice evident as she touched my shoulder.
“I don’t know if I can change him,” I admitted. “I don’t know if I want to. I don’t know if I could take his life and make him give up everything for me. He has friends; he owns a coffee shop that he loves…” I paused as I thought of Edward running around the coffee shop with this long white apron wrapped around his waist. He was always happy in this vision I had of him. Seeing him like that always put a smile on my face, but not today, not with the inferences of ending his life and taking everything from him hanging in the air.
“Well, that is something that the two of you will need to decide,” Kate said as Alice squeezed my hand. “It’s not just your choice. He just might have to take a hiatus for a year and then be right back in the shop loving life all over again with the love of his life beside him.” Her manner was so warm and affectionate, she knew the enormity of what we were discussing and I think I was really beginning to love Kate for her compassion.
Kate and Alice left me to my thoughts as they talked quietly amongst themselves. The thought of Edward dying, even if to become a vampire, sickened me. I couldn’t let him do that. I didn’t want him to give up his friends and the business that he loved, give up any chance of a normal life. But what if it were possible, and he could be happy as a vampire and still have his life for a while, I think I could be happy with that. But what if I did try to change him and it went horribly wrong? What if I couldn’t stop myself and I killed him? I closed my eyes as a strange feeling shot through my body, pain I think. I hadn't felt any physical pain in such a long time, but this was different, this was that sickening feeling in my stomach, intensified; this was heartache. I remembered what it felt like when I died and became a vampire. I would never forget the horrible burning that had consumed me with no relief and no escape. The thought of Edward enduring something so horrible…
“Alice, I don’t think Irina mentioned it, but she has found a mate,” I heard Kate say as I turned to look at Alice and Kate who were still engrossed in conversation. “His name is Laurent, and they are absolutely perfect for each other. I think she may even be in love.”
“That’s fantastic! Where did she meet him?” Alice asked.
“He was traveling with some nomads and they came across us one night while we were out on a hunt. Laurent eagerly decided to stay behind, he found our lifestyle fascinating. He said that the other two he had been traveling with, James and Victoria, were ravenous, like a pack of dogs, with no respect for their prey.” Kate said. My head shot up when Kate mentioned James and Victoria. Alice squeezed my hand again as I felt something like a cold chill come over my body. I had not mentioned or heard their names in nearly twenty years. I was always told that over time, you tend to forget the way you were “reborn” in to vampirism. I guess I was one of those types who never forgot.
“Bella, it’s OK. You’re safe,” Alice whispered as she put her arm around me. I felt my mind start to spin as different emotions began rushing through my senses.
“What’s going on?” Kate asked concerned.
Alice told Kate the story about the night James and Victoria hunted me down in the dark alley. Alice told her how Emmett had heard my screams and they all came running, saving me from one death and delivering me into another. James and Victoria had fled and no one had seen or heard from them since that night. Remembering all of that horror made the situation with Edward even more difficult. I didn’t want to become that for Edward. I didn’t want him to fear me or resent me for taking his life. Even if Edward did know what I was, I didn’t want to be the one that would end his life.
I got up from the couch and dismissed myself to my room where I sat in an immovable and contemplative state for hours. My mind searched out every viable solution I could think of, but somehow, I would still end up to the same place. I started considering packing up everything and leaving. It would be hard to be on my own but at least it would keep Edward safe, and alive. I still found it hard to believe that he had been able to figure out what I was. I was so confused and didn’t know what to do. I wanted Edward with every fiber of my being. I knew I was in love with him but I was being selfish in hoping that he could possibly reciprocate that love for me knowing what I was. To ask someone to give up everything, to give themselves to one person completely for love, and then to take their life…how could I ask Edward to do that? I couldn’t, I wouldn’t.
I thought about the deer I fed on when I was alone in the forest the day I came home from Chicago. I remembered how it had struggled so helplessly under my hands, the soft cries it made as it lost the fight for its life echoed in my head. My mind then flashed to visions of Edward, lying before me, drained of blood. His expressionless face was empty and dark, as his emotionless eyes stared up at me. I shuddered as I tried to shake the image from my mind. “Not by my hand!” I growled as I pounded my fist into my pillow.
It had become dark outside and I found myself still sitting alone in my room trying to pull myself out of my mental ramblings. Time had begun to have no meaning for me anymore. It used to matter to me and now, it just didn’t. I was living out my sentence of eternity with blinders on until I met Edward. Now, to have been shown those little slivers of what my life could be like with him in it made me want to be with him that much more. He was so funny the other night when I was trying to get him into my hotel room to take care of him. I wished that I wouldn’t have left him that morning. I just didn’t know what else to do but run.
I heard the shuffling of feet outside in the hallway bringing me out of my thoughts as I looked toward my bedroom door. I tried to focus on who was outside my door when the movement stopped and I heard a gentle knock.
“What?” I snapped, not really wanting to talk to anyone.
“Geez Bella, chill out.” My door opened and I was shocked to see Rosalie letting herself in my room.
“Get out!” I growled as she turned on my desk lamp.
She paused as she turned to look at me, cocking her head to the side, “No.”
“What do you want Rosalie? I am in no mood for your bullshit,” I said as I stood up, preparing myself for another fight.
“Oh sit down and quit getting your panties in a twist!” she said as she sat down on my bed and patted her hand on the comforter, silently asking me to sit down with her. I cautiously sat back down as Rosalie poised herself to talk. “It’s no big secret that I don’t like you.”
“Humph, that’s an understatement,” I said sarcastically.
“Well you don’t like me either so no big deal,” she flicked her blond hair. “Anyway, I am not here to state the obvious, I am here to tell you why I don’t like you.”
“Oh joy! And I thought we were going to have a warm fuzzy hallmark moment!” I rolled my eyes at her.
Rosalie pursed her lips and folded her hands across her chest. “Whatever,” she huffed as she tried to hide a smile. “Do you want to hear this or not?”
“Sure…why not?”
“The night that we found you, when those two nomads were feeding on you, I thought we should have left you, even though I knew you wouldn’t have made it as a newborn without our help, but Emmett wouldn’t have it. He went running in there, arms swinging, with the rest of the family in tow...well, everyone but me. He scooped you up in his arms and begged Carlisle to save you just like I had done with him, and I was pissed. He didn’t know the change would happen by itself, he thought you were going to die if we left you. I thought our family was perfect and didn’t need another person in it, especially an unpaired female.” Rosalie paused for just a moment taking a deep breath she didn’t need, and surprisingly looking a little pained at what she was about to say next. “You see, I chose Emmett, he didn’t choose me. And even though I know he loves me, when he decided he wanted to save you, I was jealous because I felt like he was choosing you.”
“It's not like that Rose,” I said, trying to downplay her fear while at the same time absolutely shocked that she was telling me she was jealous. Of me!
“I know it's not, but it is the principle of the matter, I can’t help but be jealous. I watched you like a hawk. I hated you because he cared that much about you. Even now, you have some deep connection with him that I feel like I could never have.” Rosalie looked back up at me with a fiery intensity in her eyes. I could tell that it was eating away at her and yet it amazed me that someone as beautiful as Rosalie could be that jealous of anyone, let alone me.
“Trust me when I say that you have nothing to be jealous about. We are just friends.”
“Whatever,” she said again as she waved her hand in the air. “I still don’t like you.” She glanced back at me with a smirk on her face. Right then I knew that Rosalie was saying her peace and she was happy with the way things were between us. She didn’t like me, I didn’t like her, and both of us were cool with that.
“Well, I don’t like you either,” I smiled as Rosalie got up off the bed. She headed toward my door where she paused and turned around.
“By the way, I am sorry for what I did downstairs earlier today. Sometimes my inner bitch just takes over and I can’t help myself.”
“Sometimes?” I rolled my eyes at her again as I smiled.
“Oh, and you should know that your Edward is back in town.” At the mere mention of Edward’s name, my senses tingled.
“How do you know that?” I asked as my brow furrowed, trying to understand how it was possible that Rosalie knew anything about Edward.
“The girls and I were curious so we stopped by just in time to see him leaving that coffee shop,” she paused and looked up as if she was pondering something as her finger tapped against her chin. “Hmmm…The Roasted Seed is it?” A wicked grin fell across her face as she looked me straight in the eyes. I felt the rage building up inside of me as I jumped up off of the bed again.
“Rose…” I started but she held her hand up to stop me.
“Nothing happened, we just watched from the car, but I am telling you now, if you don’t do something about that little hottie, I know for a fact that Tanya is more than willing to take him off your hands. Bitch thinks she’s God’s gift! See, that pisses me off and I just can’t let that happen,” Rosalie said as she put her hand on the doorknob. “I may not like you Isabella but…GRRR!” and with that she was gone.
I was left in a wake of shock, disbelief, and agitation. I couldn’t believe Rosalie, after twenty years of living under the same roof she finally told me why she hated me so much. I guess I could see her point but it was senseless. Emmett was nothing more to me than a big brother. I loved him but it wasn’t anything sexual. I moved all of that aside and focused on what Rosalie had just told me about Tanya. There was no doubt that if Tanya laid one finger on Edward I would break her in half! Fuck respect! She had no right! Who does she think she is anyway? I was mad; no, I was beyond mad, I was fucking pissed! I started pacing in my room, letting my anger burn inside of me. How dare she! Did she honestly think that I would just sit back and hand Edward over to her on a silver platter? I continued to pace back and forth becoming more infuriated by the minute. I started to see images of Edward and Tanya together in my mind as the rage and jealously took over my senses.
Before I was aware of my own actions, I was out my bedroom door and down the stairs ready to pounce on Tanya, when Emmett stepped in between us and picked me up off the ground in a bear hug. I fought against him as he dragged me out of the living room where Tanya, her sisters, my sisters, and Esme were all sitting with Carmen. He pulled me through the kitchen and into the den where Jasper, Carlisle, and Eleazar were visiting. I was kicking and flailing my arms like a mad woman, trying to get away from Emmett so I could get my hands on Tanya.
“Let me go!! Do you hear me?! Put me down damn it!” Emmett moved us around the couch as he sat me down, holding me in place. I was still fighting to get up when Jasper stepped in and my body went limp as my mind went fuzzy. I looked up at Emmett and smiled lazily at him, feeling myself fall back against the couch cushions. My eyes slowly trailed from Jasper and Carlisle, to Eleazar, then back to Emmett. I began to giggle a little as my mind reached a heightened euphoric state. I felt my eyes roll back in my head as my arms and legs got heavy. I didn’t feel like fighting anymore, I just wanted to float on this beautiful cloud and feel nothing.
“Jasper, I think you need to take it down a notch,” Carlisle said as I felt someone lift my eye lids.
“Bella’s stoned!” Emmett chuckled.
“Shhhuuut…uuup” I whined as I tried to punch his shoulder.
“Is Bella alright?” I heard Esme’s voice as I felt myself coming down a little from the high Jasper had me in.
“Mom!” I exclaimed as I tried to sit up.
“Oh no you don’t,” Emmett said as he gently pushed me back down to the couch.
“Carlisle, I can see this is a family matter so I will give you some time to take care of your daughter,” Eleazar dismissed himself quietly. I watched him leave as Alice and Rosalie came into the room.
“What happened?” Alice asked, looking around at the other members of the family.
“I know,” Rosalie spoke up.
“Rose knows,” I repeated with a giggle.
“Jasper, you might want to take it down a little more,” Carlisle suggested, and then all eyes were on Rosalie as she told her story about Tanya and Edward. Listening to her speak reminded me why I was downstairs in the first place.
“I’m gonna kill her!” I said as I started to regain my wits, but just as soon as I started to sit up I was hit again with another blast from Jasper.
“Rose, you didn’t?” I heard Alice say as I tried to remain coherent.
“That was a shit thing to do Rose,” Emmett said as he sat down on the couch next to my legs.
“I told her I was sorry,” Rosalie complained as if it were no big deal.
“I’m going to go talk to Eleazar. He will understand and make the suggestion to his family to leave to keep it from coming to blows,” Carlisle said to all of us and then looked at me and smiled. “Bella I’m sorry. It’s Tanya’s nature to be like that. Please don’t be angry,” he patted my hand and left with Esme.
Finally feeling a little more balanced, I looked at Emmett, “I made a mess of things didn’t I?”
“I wouldn’t say you did,” Emmett said casting an angry glance at Rosalie.
“Whatever!” Rosalie huffed and turned on her heel as she stomped out of the den. Emmett shook his head and then smiled warily at me.
“Jasper, can you back off of the mind trip? I think the big pink elephant is starting to scare me,” I requested as I tried to sit up again.
“No, that’s just Emmett,” Jasper chucked as I felt the sedation ease up even further.
“Watch it,” Emmett warned as he helped me to my feet. I was starting to feel more like myself as Jasper allowed his emotional cloud to lift off of me.
“Jasper, I don’t know if you want to let her go completely,” Alice warned as we all looked at her. She was staring blankly for just a moment and then looked back at me. “You’re going to have company…soon.”
“Edward?” I whispered.
“Yes,” Alice paused and took a moment to look me over, “and no offense Bella, but you look like shit. Get up, we have less than hour.” She pulled me up off the couch and began to drag me up the back stairwell as she gave directions to Emmett and Jasper about alerting the family to Edward’s arrival and getting the Denalis out of here.
Once we were in my room, I sat on my bed as Alice went to work. My mind wandered as she combed through my hair and we waited for Edward’s arrival. Edward is coming for me, I smiled to myself as I felt the bristles of the brush pull through the knots in my hair. I knew this was it. This would be the turning point if there was ever to be a life for me and Edward. If there was any chance at making this work, I would need to answer all of his questions no matter how difficult, and if he still wanted me knowing the full truth, then I would be his, for as long as he would have me.
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