It's 1:11am and things always go bump in the night....
I have been having a difficult week but everything is starting to get in the better.
I have accomplished so many things and it is apparent to me now that I have come this far. I mean I have been through hell and back just like everyone else....but internal battles are always the hardest. After someone made a comment on my journal I realized that I don't really update that much. Maybe I feed too much into what other people want....I'm selfess and I think that to me that is great...I never knew how many people I could touch or whatever. After all there are enough greedy scum in the gay community that by my being as selfless as I am...I kinda feel detached from that and I am glad for sure for that deliverance. It is so easy to feed into what everyone wants but for that little moment in which you become yourself the only thing you can do is be true...of course if you will it so. I am that person that you internally wish you could be...a lot of you...you want to be free in your own spirit...so you sleep with as many people that want you...or you stay lonely because you "choose to" or you sell yourself short...I am worthy of what I want...always have been...just some times have felt less than that...so when you look at me disgustedly I know you really look at me longingly....and it's okay...I understand I really do. I take a little piece of you all with me in order to learn...I just feel that it is now the time for me to step and say what I feel and if what I feel is invalid to you then I think it is time for you to say let's part ways the correct way...
Pack your bags and let me know that I am not someone you want to know....otherwise you may be misleading and that is ok too...I have been led astray many a time...But I won't deny myself the opportunity to know each and every one of you in some way. Wy not be close to me? I care enough to want all people near to my heart...everyone likes to feed into this image that I have that I am so evil and dark..but I can be as Froo-Froo as all the others....but I choose to be myself...and that irritates people...when you uncover their guise they don't like that....they like to remain shrouded in their own depths of shadows....I shine that light...they don't want to be seen...but I see you...now is the time to accept that...or get the hell out of my way because I am moving towards what I want...and if you aren't with me then you are against me and I will smite you...
Ultimately I am just like you....so stop reading now
Adam
I have accomplished so many things and it is apparent to me now that I have come this far. I mean I have been through hell and back just like everyone else....but internal battles are always the hardest. After someone made a comment on my journal I realized that I don't really update that much. Maybe I feed too much into what other people want....I'm selfess and I think that to me that is great...I never knew how many people I could touch or whatever. After all there are enough greedy scum in the gay community that by my being as selfless as I am...I kinda feel detached from that and I am glad for sure for that deliverance. It is so easy to feed into what everyone wants but for that little moment in which you become yourself the only thing you can do is be true...of course if you will it so. I am that person that you internally wish you could be...a lot of you...you want to be free in your own spirit...so you sleep with as many people that want you...or you stay lonely because you "choose to" or you sell yourself short...I am worthy of what I want...always have been...just some times have felt less than that...so when you look at me disgustedly I know you really look at me longingly....and it's okay...I understand I really do. I take a little piece of you all with me in order to learn...I just feel that it is now the time for me to step and say what I feel and if what I feel is invalid to you then I think it is time for you to say let's part ways the correct way...
Pack your bags and let me know that I am not someone you want to know....otherwise you may be misleading and that is ok too...I have been led astray many a time...But I won't deny myself the opportunity to know each and every one of you in some way. Wy not be close to me? I care enough to want all people near to my heart...everyone likes to feed into this image that I have that I am so evil and dark..but I can be as Froo-Froo as all the others....but I choose to be myself...and that irritates people...when you uncover their guise they don't like that....they like to remain shrouded in their own depths of shadows....I shine that light...they don't want to be seen...but I see you...now is the time to accept that...or get the hell out of my way because I am moving towards what I want...and if you aren't with me then you are against me and I will smite you...
Ultimately I am just like you....so stop reading now
Adam