Episode 98 - "We Could've Hit You...But We Didn't"
Election Day 2004 is only ONE MONTH away. And you know what's good...
HOES FOR CONGRESS.
CHERYL & TONY join us as we head to Boston to promote the campaign...you're gonna see some things that you've never seen before, this I guarantee.
_you_are_a_cunt did a guest spot in this episode, and boy did he start off with a BANG! In the middle of driving around in Boston, he decides to piss in my car...
Well, not exactly in my car, but in a Sobe bottle, in my car. I'm tellin ya, I'm always bringing new shit to you guys. Yum, look at all that piss...
Now, look, I want you to all know that we really are taking the campaign seriously. Look, we even parked at the State Street Financial Center, in the VIP parking area. We're for real...
Quite the fancy elevator they've got there...and look, Denise is already campaigning! Meanwhile, the guy at the front desk is watching the video surveillance and seeing ALL of this!
We figured that we could pick up some new fashion trends while we were in Boston. Tony got onto this one real fast...
So, Desnie started to get some good ideas for the campaign. We found this horse named Toby and she thought it might be hot if we did a Vote for Hoes for Congress commercial while she rides the horse, NAKED!
So, she pulled over a local constituent, his name was Matt, who was at the bar across the street and asked him what he thought about it. He wanted her to practice right then and there.
Well, I think because it was a Thursday night, there weren't many political people out and about, so we had to end our night rather quickly. BUT, not before Niecy 9-11 did something to make us laugh for 5 MINUTES STRAIGHT! What could have been so funny?
This will go down as one of those classic moments that we'll never forget. First the pic, then the story...
Yeah, yeah, you're thinking, Niecy at a urinal, but I'm sure there was no one in the men's room, so it's not really that big a deal. WELL YES, that's what we thought, when we busted in. BUT, there was a dude taking a shit in the bathroom and we didn't know it until he peeked his head out of the stall to see what the hell we were doing... If you could have seen the look on his face...PRICELESS I tell ya. Be sure to wash your hands when you're done too...RIGHT ADRIANO???
Taxi cabs in Boston always promote the important news headlines.
Kelly and Teresa were very bummed that that couldn't promote the campaign with us that night, so the next night we took another stab at it. Of course Kel dressed slutty for the occasion.
And of course Teresa sporting the tongue that got her LEAD HO!
I know GAV was huge these past two seasons. BUT, for season 3, I think my official beverage is now ABSOLUT RASPBERRI.
NOW, for a brief moment, this is the "Me Getting Attacked by Kelly's Killer Dog Collection"...
1. Me on the chair so he can't bite my legs.
2. Well, that pissed him the fuck off and he howled at me!
3. He comes in to bite off my hand.
4. But he decides to go for my leg instead.
5. Then, I finally figured out what he wanted. He wanted some of my vodka. So, I poured some in his little dish and BAM...he was as calm as could be.
So, remember, when dogs attack...get vodka!
Lol...I wasn't going to post this pic, but it's too funny not to. Look at Kelly, wtf, she's posing with a plastic bag. Like she's holding it up, to show it off or something. Maybe our campaign was targeting homeless people that night, I don't really remember.
You know, I was thinking...If Oprah can have a book club, so can I. BLU's BOOK CLUB...here's a must read:
Tourette's Syndrome: Finding Answers and Getting Help by Mitzi Waltz really takes you into a whole new world of Tourettes. I learned a lot of new things that I never knew. Like there's something known as "Mute Tourette's Syndrome" where the patient can't speak, but still feels necessary to promote vulgarities. Here's an example of it:
Honestly, I recommend you all go out and buy this book. You'll love it.
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Next Episode: Episode 99 - "We'll Call It Our Greatest Hits" is just what it says, greatest hits. I'm compiling the best moments ever from the first 98 episodes and giving you a trip down memory lane. Whether you've been here through it all or not, this isn't something you're going to want to miss, because there will be new surprises along the way. It's a special episode to get everyone pumped for the 100th one. Speaking of which...filming has already begun for this episode and it will for the next 2 weeks! We've got to get everyone in it, and do some of the crazy things we've planned. It's not too late to request us to do something for the 100th episode, here's what we've got so far:
Viewer Requested Scavenger Hunt is on...
1. mr_dewek - More of Mr. Dewek
2. xperfectwings - Blu in a pirate or hospital costume; Niecy in a Spartan or other cheerleader costume
3. freeky_deaky - Boy on boy action
4. cutietam - Someone in a tutu
5. glammerize - Her name all over Blu's body
6. slamdango - Blu & Niecy glammed out like 70's rock stars
7. southernchick87 - Blu giving 3 random strangers lap dances
8. k_diddle_diddle - Blu doing a backflip
C'mon guys, you know we need more to do than that!