(no subject)
So, yesterday I sat eating dinner with Nateefah, A.. and Lynn. My oldest kids were out doing college stuff, and my youngest was at a friends, R.. late at work.
There was a sense of having created a new family for myself as my old family moves away.
But this new family is a family with a tomorrow, but no future.
With bonds, but no ties.
With love, but no commitment.
It could change tomorrow yet it remains the same. Babies in high chairs, food on the floor, giggles in the air, my voice alone making one-sided conversation, coos and gibberish, smiles...than a cry that signifies the dinner hour has ended, time to move on...baths...bottles...bed.
I feel content, but with a sadness for there is no future here. The hopes and dreams, if realized, will be out of my sight, beyond my reach. They will grow, but it will be apart from me.
But right now, in this moment we are a family.
There was a sense of having created a new family for myself as my old family moves away.
But this new family is a family with a tomorrow, but no future.
With bonds, but no ties.
With love, but no commitment.
It could change tomorrow yet it remains the same. Babies in high chairs, food on the floor, giggles in the air, my voice alone making one-sided conversation, coos and gibberish, smiles...than a cry that signifies the dinner hour has ended, time to move on...baths...bottles...bed.
I feel content, but with a sadness for there is no future here. The hopes and dreams, if realized, will be out of my sight, beyond my reach. They will grow, but it will be apart from me.
But right now, in this moment we are a family.