(no subject)
I miss living in Virginia. I miss everything about it. Even the dirty Potomac. I miss the smell of the dogwoods. And I miss the trails. I miss old town Alexandria. I miss always having a place I could go. I miss the metro. I miss ice skate in the pentagon city mall.
I am so alone here. I have no one. And you can only have so many conversations with yourself... I mean let's face it, I am always on my side!
I used to talk to the stars... But everything is so close together here all my neighbors would hear me.
I am struggling in meditation. I am just struggling in life. Struggling to keep going. Struggling to want to stay in this relationship. Always struggling.
When I got in the pool the other day (after years of pretending pools were evil because I didn't want to wear a bathing suit) I first felt hot air. Then felt cold cold water. I was surrounded by strangers. I listened to my ipod. I read. I was alone. Alone among so many strangers. And I felt so alive. Maybe because I like to belive that all the strangers among which I am surrounded, are all struggling with the same thing. Or at least they will be. They too will loose some dear to them. They too will be alone in a partnership. They too will feel lost in their own lives.
We are all human. We all lead unperfect lives. Be it us who are not perfect or be it others who fall short of what we expect. We all struggling with lifes uncontrolability.
I feel out of control. But if I am among others who I feel may feel the same way- somehow I feel less alone.
I am so alone here. I have no one. And you can only have so many conversations with yourself... I mean let's face it, I am always on my side!
I used to talk to the stars... But everything is so close together here all my neighbors would hear me.
I am struggling in meditation. I am just struggling in life. Struggling to keep going. Struggling to want to stay in this relationship. Always struggling.
When I got in the pool the other day (after years of pretending pools were evil because I didn't want to wear a bathing suit) I first felt hot air. Then felt cold cold water. I was surrounded by strangers. I listened to my ipod. I read. I was alone. Alone among so many strangers. And I felt so alive. Maybe because I like to belive that all the strangers among which I am surrounded, are all struggling with the same thing. Or at least they will be. They too will loose some dear to them. They too will be alone in a partnership. They too will feel lost in their own lives.
We are all human. We all lead unperfect lives. Be it us who are not perfect or be it others who fall short of what we expect. We all struggling with lifes uncontrolability.
I feel out of control. But if I am among others who I feel may feel the same way- somehow I feel less alone.