(no subject)
The people whom I deeply love, anyone else reading this, and the rest of mankind: I'm really sorry about how terrible I've been at expressing my love for you over the past 2 years or so, especially these past few weeks. I care, I really do.
Well, I'll keep the rest of this short.
Yesterday a lot of things happened.
I'm surviving though. I'm guessing this is when I have to step up, be a man, and rise to the occasion.
Life deals hard blows to suck up to sometimes, the way that all beautiful things do. They're worthwhile though, life and the people in it.
And that means I'm going to love people as much as I can, with all I've got. I'm really, truly sorry to all the people I've hurt, whether in the past few weeks, a year and a half ago, or ever. I won't shut myself inside again, like I've done before. I'd rather feel incredibly sad than feel nothing and care about no one.
I guess at this point, the fight is about not exchanging a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage.
I can't say exactly what the war is, except that the first front is inside myself. This means that I'll have to do the real fighting alone.
I can't say exactly what I'm fighting it for, except that I know how the cage feels. And I know how it hurts other people when I've locked myself in it. And I know how as soon as I'm free, I can't stand what I've done to them. Whether it was making them feel abandoned, or cutting off whatever limb they tried to help me with, etc.
I can't say exactly how important some of you have been in helping me, but I have to say that out of the complete medicated blur that is the past 2 years, everything that everyone has said or done to try and help me really sticks out, completely clearly. I'm extremely grateful to have great friends and allies.
This might be my last post for a while. Or maybe just until tomorrow, who knows.
At any rate, I love you all.
Love,
Khalid
Well, I'll keep the rest of this short.
Yesterday a lot of things happened.
I'm surviving though. I'm guessing this is when I have to step up, be a man, and rise to the occasion.
Life deals hard blows to suck up to sometimes, the way that all beautiful things do. They're worthwhile though, life and the people in it.
And that means I'm going to love people as much as I can, with all I've got. I'm really, truly sorry to all the people I've hurt, whether in the past few weeks, a year and a half ago, or ever. I won't shut myself inside again, like I've done before. I'd rather feel incredibly sad than feel nothing and care about no one.
I guess at this point, the fight is about not exchanging a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage.
I can't say exactly what the war is, except that the first front is inside myself. This means that I'll have to do the real fighting alone.
I can't say exactly what I'm fighting it for, except that I know how the cage feels. And I know how it hurts other people when I've locked myself in it. And I know how as soon as I'm free, I can't stand what I've done to them. Whether it was making them feel abandoned, or cutting off whatever limb they tried to help me with, etc.
I can't say exactly how important some of you have been in helping me, but I have to say that out of the complete medicated blur that is the past 2 years, everything that everyone has said or done to try and help me really sticks out, completely clearly. I'm extremely grateful to have great friends and allies.
This might be my last post for a while. Or maybe just until tomorrow, who knows.
At any rate, I love you all.
Love,
Khalid