if you were wondering..
I've come to my senses,
That I've become senseless,
I could give you lessons on how to ruin your friendships,
Every last conviction, I smoked them all away,
I drank my frustrations down the drain, out of the way,
So I sit and wait and wonder,
"Does anyone else feel like me?"
Someone so tired of their routines and disappearing self-esteems,
I'll sing along,
Yeah with every emergency,
Just sing along,
I'm the king of catastrophies,
I'm so far gone,
That deep down inside I think it's fine by me,
I'm my own worst enemy
I could be an expert on co-dependency,
I could write the best book on underage tragedy...
fuck, thats the one thing that can describe how i feel at this moment... my best friend leaves to western in 3 days... fuck...
i need to get my fucking shit together... i am a fuckup... i need some positives in my life... hence my new years resolutions...
1. minimize drinking... i feel i am using alcohol as a means to hide how i am feeling, and use it as a socializing device... also new years demonstrated that i am out of control... i just drink to black out... i worry people i care about... and i hate to see others hurt...
2. quit smoking... im killing myself... enough said... i can only cough up pieces of my lungs for so much longer....
3. get in shape (lose weight)... im so out of shape from drinking and smoking that this has to be done... and im just not happy with myself...
4. try in school...
sorry im falling apart...