6 more days...
I am getting really excited to go back to Buffalo. I can't wait to hang out with some new people that I have gotten aquanted with just recently and a little less recently. I went through some more of my stuff tonight and realized I didnt need a lot of the shit I had so I packed it up to leave her at home. Tommarow is my last day at Wendy's for the summer and I suppose I am happy. I have had a lot of fun at that job this summer met some new faces and got close to a couple old faces. I am going to miss some people here and events that are going to be taking place. I have my grly whose having a baby soon and I have to come home for that cuz I wouldn't miss seein lil Hannah for the world. Also, my cousin is getting married and I have to go to that as well. I am hoping the baby and the wedding happen in the same weekend so I can kill two birds with one stone. I am also excited about coming back to see George in his new band and see how they are all doing and see what Bill and Rob have been doing musically. So, in other words I will see you guys on the 4th of Sept.
I am going to miss my family more this year than in the past. Dad and I have realized that we can get along as long as we don't live in the same house. We are too much alike in a lot of ways. I have realized this summer I have my father's temper and attitude towards a lot of things. I am not willing to change either though because those things are me its the way I act upon these that I have to change. Mom and I got closer in the talking to one another fashion this summer and my mom has become more of a friend to me we talk about a lot of things which I do enjoy and we have had some nice talks in the car rides while she was teaching me how to drive. Yes. Yes. I am nineteen and still don't have my license I am working on so hush. I'm going to miss my Grandma a lot this past year has been filled with numerous hospital visits and constant health hazards to family members. I went to the hospital with my grandma last week and we found out that the cancer is on another portion of her lung. I haven't been able to fully deal with this and I don't think I will be able to as of yet.
ancer is such an awful destructive thing and I don't think anyone has a real way of dealing or shall I say coping with this. My Great Uncle who I adored and was like a grandfather towards me passed away in July and he passed away due to pneumonia, but at the same time he was suffering from cancer. I kept telling myself that he was in a better place and I was okay until I had to go to the wake and thats when it hit me that he was gone and I couldn't handle it. It reminded me of so many funerals in the past that I still can't accept the main one being Jesse my best friend that passed when we were just seven years old. I know that I am not ready for my grandmother to leave this world she has so much more work to do here. I know that when she does pass I am not going to be right for a long while afterwards. I have gotten so close to my grandmother in the last 9 years its unbelieveable. My cousin Nicole always seemed to be the favored one, but she completely fucked up her life and so did my other cousin and the two of us that our left are the most liked now. It was hard growing up knowing that "nicole was always better than me", but now the tables have turned. It may sound self centered of me to say this, but I know when my grandmother passes that I will be the one that is the favorite and the one who is going to miss her the most. I don't really know what brought me to this topic, but I felt the need to share that. I like this journal because I feel that no one reads it even though I know they do.
I'm also going to miss my best friend over the years we have encountered numerous ups and downs in our friendship but through it all we have stood by one another and this summer has brought us together on a more mature, grown-up level. I like it because I can see we both know what we want in life and how to get it, our ways of going about it are very different, but I know through it all we will stay friends forever.
I'm also going to miss my adopted sister; Sabrina. Sabrina is a little girl that has lived across the hall from me for the last four years and her and I have grown very close to one another so much to the point that she has told me on more than one occasion that she thinks of me as an older sister. Now, she does have an older sister who I used to be great friends with until I tried looking out for her and our friendship dwindled. Sabrina has told me stuff that she wouldn't dare tell her sister because she knows her sister doesn't give a shit. Where as Sabrina loves her sister and wants to be closer to her. Recently, Sabrina moved out of the complex and unfortunatly doesn't leave near me anymore her and I have gotten close as friends and sisterly over the past year and I am going to miss her. I was unfortunate to be an only child to never be granted with a little sister of my own as many nights as I prayed to "god" as a child to bring me a baby sister or brother I never was granted that prayer. I guess I make up for it in other peoples families though.
I guess that is about all that I am going to miss here at home.
I am going to miss my family more this year than in the past. Dad and I have realized that we can get along as long as we don't live in the same house. We are too much alike in a lot of ways. I have realized this summer I have my father's temper and attitude towards a lot of things. I am not willing to change either though because those things are me its the way I act upon these that I have to change. Mom and I got closer in the talking to one another fashion this summer and my mom has become more of a friend to me we talk about a lot of things which I do enjoy and we have had some nice talks in the car rides while she was teaching me how to drive. Yes. Yes. I am nineteen and still don't have my license I am working on so hush. I'm going to miss my Grandma a lot this past year has been filled with numerous hospital visits and constant health hazards to family members. I went to the hospital with my grandma last week and we found out that the cancer is on another portion of her lung. I haven't been able to fully deal with this and I don't think I will be able to as of yet.
ancer is such an awful destructive thing and I don't think anyone has a real way of dealing or shall I say coping with this. My Great Uncle who I adored and was like a grandfather towards me passed away in July and he passed away due to pneumonia, but at the same time he was suffering from cancer. I kept telling myself that he was in a better place and I was okay until I had to go to the wake and thats when it hit me that he was gone and I couldn't handle it. It reminded me of so many funerals in the past that I still can't accept the main one being Jesse my best friend that passed when we were just seven years old. I know that I am not ready for my grandmother to leave this world she has so much more work to do here. I know that when she does pass I am not going to be right for a long while afterwards. I have gotten so close to my grandmother in the last 9 years its unbelieveable. My cousin Nicole always seemed to be the favored one, but she completely fucked up her life and so did my other cousin and the two of us that our left are the most liked now. It was hard growing up knowing that "nicole was always better than me", but now the tables have turned. It may sound self centered of me to say this, but I know when my grandmother passes that I will be the one that is the favorite and the one who is going to miss her the most. I don't really know what brought me to this topic, but I felt the need to share that. I like this journal because I feel that no one reads it even though I know they do.
I'm also going to miss my best friend over the years we have encountered numerous ups and downs in our friendship but through it all we have stood by one another and this summer has brought us together on a more mature, grown-up level. I like it because I can see we both know what we want in life and how to get it, our ways of going about it are very different, but I know through it all we will stay friends forever.
I'm also going to miss my adopted sister; Sabrina. Sabrina is a little girl that has lived across the hall from me for the last four years and her and I have grown very close to one another so much to the point that she has told me on more than one occasion that she thinks of me as an older sister. Now, she does have an older sister who I used to be great friends with until I tried looking out for her and our friendship dwindled. Sabrina has told me stuff that she wouldn't dare tell her sister because she knows her sister doesn't give a shit. Where as Sabrina loves her sister and wants to be closer to her. Recently, Sabrina moved out of the complex and unfortunatly doesn't leave near me anymore her and I have gotten close as friends and sisterly over the past year and I am going to miss her. I was unfortunate to be an only child to never be granted with a little sister of my own as many nights as I prayed to "god" as a child to bring me a baby sister or brother I never was granted that prayer. I guess I make up for it in other peoples families though.
I guess that is about all that I am going to miss here at home.