Late night thinkin
I have to wait till one to sign on to print my schedule for school so I can get my books when I go up to the school on friday. I am so excited to go back I have so many things to look forward to. I also have things not to look forward to. I am going out with Jess and her boy on the 25th and we're getting my nose peirced and were going to bond. Woot to bonding! Also I am trying to get to see George and AKP and the rest of you silly kids from Buffalo on the 4th at Mohawk I less than three all of you and miss you bunches.
Things I am not looking forward to: Dealing with my stalker unless he finally went to jail, dealing with my ex I guess sometimes I need a neon sign saying 'I don't like you anymore' for him to get the hint. I am also not looking forward to fighting with one of my suitemates. Yea, so there is a slim chance of me catching her STD by living in the same room as her, but guess what. I don't want to risk it bitch gah!
Lets go back to things I am looking forward to: seeing my Class A crew, Jess and her boy who sounds splendiful, seeing George and his new band, seeing AKP and seeing their progress, seeing Shaun!, working at the bookstore (I really liked that job maybe they will keep me), seeing Angie and the nena, also hopefully applying and being hired for a position at The Underground Cafe.
Things I am going to miss here: the friends that I do have left here which is very few, I am going to miss my random run ins with corey and our random rides to the bank, I am going to miss talking to Deanna even though she nixed that friendship I hope someone will let me know when the baby is born at least I would like to see her.
Things I am not going to miss here: the lame ass boys that work at Wendy's that try hitting on me, but fail miserably when I send my mean wrestler/football player cousin after them :D, I am not going to miss the fighting and arguing with my parents on a daily basis, I am not going to miss the sad empty feeling that talking to my father's side of the family brings me ( I hate how death leaves you speachless), I'm not going to miss the arguements with friends.
Things I have accompished while home: driving, managing to stay sane while working at the shittiest fast food place known to man, fought to get a raise and I got it, kept the friendships I wanted to keep going (well for the most part).
Things I didn't accomplish: getting my license (i will over winter break), finding a summer love (i swear this only happens in movies), seeing Travis and JUST HANGING OUT!
The main thing that I am going to miss when I leave is the fact that this summer was really hard to come home to there were so many changes in other peoples lives around me mainly friends that at times I still have a hard time accepting. I wonder if the same thing happens for them. To all who think that things will be the same when you come home after your first year at school I am sorry but things will change. It was hard for me to deal with one of close friends being pregnant, but i feel that I have stuck by her 110% although we had our falling outs and are no longer on speaking terms due to I was sick of a certain tendency that she had. I also had a hard time dealing with another one of my close friends not being here for the summer when last summer him and I hung out at least once every two weeks. I think the second hardest thing was seeing my best friend after a year and seeing how much we had to work on to keep our friendship together and both of us were changed people her with a new bf and me well with I guess a new outlook on life. It was hard to accept in my mind that I hadn't really accomplished anything at school while she in my eyes has done tons. Now, this may seem to outsiders that I was jealous of her and it was more of in the beginning I was afraid to hang out with her because I felt I was a failure, but couldn't say anything and I haven't until now. Maybe thats why I have been lashing out at people I am not to sure. I guess its a little late now with 20 some odd days left here in this lil podunk town.
Things I am not looking forward to: Dealing with my stalker unless he finally went to jail, dealing with my ex I guess sometimes I need a neon sign saying 'I don't like you anymore' for him to get the hint. I am also not looking forward to fighting with one of my suitemates. Yea, so there is a slim chance of me catching her STD by living in the same room as her, but guess what. I don't want to risk it bitch gah!
Lets go back to things I am looking forward to: seeing my Class A crew, Jess and her boy who sounds splendiful, seeing George and his new band, seeing AKP and seeing their progress, seeing Shaun!, working at the bookstore (I really liked that job maybe they will keep me), seeing Angie and the nena, also hopefully applying and being hired for a position at The Underground Cafe.
Things I am going to miss here: the friends that I do have left here which is very few, I am going to miss my random run ins with corey and our random rides to the bank, I am going to miss talking to Deanna even though she nixed that friendship I hope someone will let me know when the baby is born at least I would like to see her.
Things I am not going to miss here: the lame ass boys that work at Wendy's that try hitting on me, but fail miserably when I send my mean wrestler/football player cousin after them :D, I am not going to miss the fighting and arguing with my parents on a daily basis, I am not going to miss the sad empty feeling that talking to my father's side of the family brings me ( I hate how death leaves you speachless), I'm not going to miss the arguements with friends.
Things I have accompished while home: driving, managing to stay sane while working at the shittiest fast food place known to man, fought to get a raise and I got it, kept the friendships I wanted to keep going (well for the most part).
Things I didn't accomplish: getting my license (i will over winter break), finding a summer love (i swear this only happens in movies), seeing Travis and JUST HANGING OUT!
The main thing that I am going to miss when I leave is the fact that this summer was really hard to come home to there were so many changes in other peoples lives around me mainly friends that at times I still have a hard time accepting. I wonder if the same thing happens for them. To all who think that things will be the same when you come home after your first year at school I am sorry but things will change. It was hard for me to deal with one of close friends being pregnant, but i feel that I have stuck by her 110% although we had our falling outs and are no longer on speaking terms due to I was sick of a certain tendency that she had. I also had a hard time dealing with another one of my close friends not being here for the summer when last summer him and I hung out at least once every two weeks. I think the second hardest thing was seeing my best friend after a year and seeing how much we had to work on to keep our friendship together and both of us were changed people her with a new bf and me well with I guess a new outlook on life. It was hard to accept in my mind that I hadn't really accomplished anything at school while she in my eyes has done tons. Now, this may seem to outsiders that I was jealous of her and it was more of in the beginning I was afraid to hang out with her because I felt I was a failure, but couldn't say anything and I haven't until now. Maybe thats why I have been lashing out at people I am not to sure. I guess its a little late now with 20 some odd days left here in this lil podunk town.