I can't remember if it's thursday or december...

[4foreveris]

So... It's been almost a year  since I've written anything in here and I figure since I'm sitting at a desk in Brookline making sure the very rich, ritzy jew's and asian's apartments dont get robbed until 8 in the morning and then driving to Randolph to make sure no one breaks into the nuclear research building... Why not update the 3 people (and thats probably a high estimate) that actually read this damn thing and entertain myself at the same time? In truth I'm just bored. Now, with life, with people. I'm not unhappy, just looking for something to change you know? I've been Mike Curley for the past 20 years and I think I'm ready to mix it up a bit. 1) I've never been outside of New England save a quick vacation to east bum fuck PA and a shcool trip to Ellis Island. With that in mind, Ive never been out of the country. It's time to travel ladies and gentlemen. To where, when, with who, none of that matters, but the why is the important part and I think Ive covered it quite well. 2) I have always lived for other people. Taking jobs that are all about following rules with no chance to put in your two cents and be listened to. Granted I am a 19 year old college student and who in their right mind would take me seriously? All I ask if for a chance to prove myself. I cannot stand being in a position where some moron manager walks around failing miserably at his job while employees/customers/ etc. are taking the brunt of the consequences. Case in point. Today I worked at the auto parts store with my dad. I love that job, it puts me near cars, near good people, and lets me talk to my dad about things that we dont normally get to share because of our hectic schedules. The store is moving down the street. It is a good move, Steve is very excited about it because of the space we will have, bcs its a nice location, a nice building, and cheap as well. The move happens this weekend. We will be closed Thursday, Friday, and Saturday to move all the parts and stuff to the new store. I understand that Steve is excited and wants the move to go smoothly. However customers come into a parts store looking to BUY PARTS!!!! Now if half of the inventory has been moved to another building then someone has to go get those parts and bring them back. In the automotive business a lot of it is matching parts by sight when the computer cannot tell you what the deal is. If the parts are not there to look at... then how is anyone supposed to know what to do?! I have a job to do there. Deliver parts. Simple. Today I helped move shelves, not a problem. I don't mind. But on these shelves were the exhaust clamps, brake pads, exhaust, etc that all were asked for today by customers!!!!! I was working 2 hours overtime no pay bcs my boss decided it was a good idea to move during business hours!!!!!! needless to say this was a pain in the ass, frustrated me, my dad, and every customer in the store. Not to mention we have decided to stop restocking things so we dont have any OIL!!!!! how can you be a parts store and not have any oil... fuckin A! I am sick of working for people who do things their own way regardless of the consequences. Think a little before you do something!!!! 3) Relationships are complicated. I do not want one. I have decided this summer is going to be devoted to me and only me. It feels good to be your own person and live your own life. I have my own car, I have my own friends, and I have my own money. Now what to do with all of it is my decision and mine alone. Of course I miss being in love, and falling asleep and waking up next to someone but I need this time to myself. No dating, just relaxing meeting people and seeing where life takes me. 4) My life course is not what I think I want it to be. People keep telling me I have time, or just stay the course and see if it works out, but none of these solutions help me to figure out what Im doing wrong/right and where I want to go and not go. I need something drastic. Something completely new and different to wake me up. Sometimes you need to leave your comfort zone in order to find where it really is. I have thought about moving. I think maybe if I put my mind to it I could afford to live in NC or Virginia, maybe transfer or get my masters or something down there, get out of New England and start a new life in a new place with new faces. I have also been fighting with career paths and decisions. Career tests have never really worked for me but for some reason i still do them. The most recent one said that I should be working in manufacturing, production, or maintenance. Now I know that my mind is better suited for other things which makes me wary of this path, but on the other hand I love working with my hands. However this would put me in that lower level position where I am a slave to the rules of potentially an ill equipped boss for the rest of my life. I am thinking very carefully of taking some business courses and seeing where it leads me. Maybe I will decide that I want to stay in political affairs (bcs I havent even thought about a job like that) or stay the course in law enforcement. But maybe I will find that I am good at management and I could be my own boss. I would love to run my own company, I know I have the motivation if I put my mind to it, I have the people skills, I have the Creative mindset to create something unique. I need to find a way to mesh my love of hands on work, with my creative abilities but at the same time be able to utilize my intellect in a way that will best serve myself and the community. I am in need of guidance, but I think New England ha run out of that for me. I need to go elswhere, maybe for a week, maybe for a semester, maybe for good. 5) I am proud of myself for the work i have been doing. I am putting in over 40 hours a week at 3 jobs and making decent money. I am exhausted all the time, but I do still have time to myself in a way that ive never had b4 working at grunt jobs that dont pay bcs i was scrounging for hours, money and places to be that required little or no financial stability to live my life and be happy. I have been working, sleeping, and working on my car mostly. I see some friends, but I need to make new ones. I am always too lazy to call someone new, maybe it is just me being shy but who knows. I'm going to pretend its lack of motivation so I can get past it and hang out with new people and hopefully they will have an impact on my life. My band is at a standstill but hopefully in the coming months we all have some more time to ourselves and we can get together and get to where we want to be. (This would save all my problems, then i could play music for a living and not have to worry about any of the aforementioned issues.)

Clearly it looks like I am stressed out. This is not the case. I am merely living my life according to new rules. I am bored. I am fed up. and I am no longer working for you. For those of you who know me now expect changes, expect to see less of me, expect maybe a little rudeness hopefully will be forgiven. But for the most part I am jut looking for a little help... and i am not afraid to ask for it. so please if you have any advice for a searching soul, allow me the pleasure of hearing it. Im open to suggestions.

I love you all. some more than others but that will all change in due time...

P.S. I have written more of my book and hopefully will be posting the new chapters shortly.