(no subject)
Its happening all the time
When I open my eyes
I'm still taken by surprise
I hold sunlight and swallow fireflies
And it makes me want to cry
I love you
I shall never grow up
Make believe is much to fun
Can we go far away to the humming meadow
We were walking there
I had tangles in my hair
But you make me feel so pretty
You have shinning eyes
Yes like those forest lights
And it makes me want to cry
I was just wishing you were here
So we could walk down with to me
And we could throw all our leaves in
Seeing our dragon when we look
I love you
I shall never grow up
Make believe is much to fun
Can we go far away to the humming meadow
I shall never grow up
Make believe is much to fun
This place is so lovely
It kind of makes me very happy
Lets go far away to the humming meadow
To the humming meadow
To the humming meadow
I was waiting at the counter at Dunkin Donuts (which i am just realizing is purposely {or maybe not} misspelled) waiting for my coffee this morning when an older man, white hair, glasses, and that glad to be alive smile asks me how i am. i said "I'm ok, how are you?" as is my normal response learnt from working in nothing but retail all my life. But his answer was not so routine. He looks at me confidently and says "Amazing!" with not one ounce of sarcasm as would be the more common way of announcing this word in this context. He saw that i was taken aback by his answer and added "I'm here" and it dawned on me that at his age that in itself is sometimes an accomplishment. But what with a few things having happened recently I'm beginning to realize that that is a blessing in itself at any age. If it weren't for johnny i could be paralyzed from a fall off my not very, yet still high roof. John himself was just released from the hospital after catching himself in the early stages of appendicitis, thankfully he is going to be ok. but that is a scary thing to wake up to, hearing that your 20 year old friend is in the hospital due to an organ failure of sorts, granted it is an unnecessary one, but still....
Anld most definately the worst of all that led me to this, my mother, at 6:30 tomorrow morning is going to Beth Israel Hospital in Boston, for surgery, to correct "stomach" pains she has had recently. It turns out that at 47 she is getting her ovaries and possibly more removed due to a mass on her ovary that is leaking into her abdominal cavity. this is what they think it is.... the possibilities here are endless. I just said goodnight to her, having told her all week that this is routine and she is going to be fine. But as she held on to me squeezing tightly out of fear and whatever it is that mothers squeeze for, i felt a tear welling in my eye, as i do now. Maybe I am being foolish, and there is nothing to worry about after all, but regardless of whether the surgery goes well or not, my mother is still going in for something far from routine, and far from okay. I don't know what i think could happen, and i don't wanna know. But WHY, or WHAT deosn't bother me as much as IS... my mom IS sick, my mom IS having surgery tomorrow. and I AM scared.
I guess i've come to the late conclusion that life really is shorter than most people expect it to be. life comes at you fast, the good... and the bad. How many of us are ready to take it as it flies by? Grab up opportunities as they come, or recognize the problems we have before they become more than just a pain, or an annoyance? Take every opportunity to be nice to someone you care about, because you don't know how many more niceties you can give out or they can receive? I guess right now i am a step behind, looking back on things that have happened, or into the near future at things that are going to happen and are inevitable... but hindsight is 20/20, and the future is blind, you just have to keep your eyes open in the present, so maybe that darkness ahead will bear some light later on.
And God, if you read live journals... you already know what I'm asking.