(no subject)
I can remember it just like it was yesterday..the phone calls right after another..then the final phone call telling us he didn't make it..the last time I got to say good bye to him has he layed in the hospital bed looking as peaceful as I ever seen him...after that things just went by so fast..it's been almost 3 years and I still don't want to accept the fact that he's not going to to be here with me anymore...he's just going to be in my heart and my memories but thats just not good enough for me..he wasn't only my best friend but my dad..sometimes i feel that if he were here still suffering but still here w. me thats all that would matter..but thats just selfish...for the past month hes all that I can think about...I just get so mad at the things that he did that made his life end faster..he promised me he would stop...why does it seem like god takes all the good people? there are times where i just give up on him and I don't belive in him..but I kno thats wrong...I just don't understand life sometimes....I have cryed so much tonight..so much that I have no more tears left..and it hurts
this day was horrible....the last couple of days have been