...yeah
last two weeks= lots of fucked up stories, soap opera drama, people who lie, people who cheat, people who care, people who don't,people who use me, people who want to be with me but won't cuz they just don't know, drunken father,mother in another relationship, friends turned on me (big fucking surprize), running into another depression due to all these things. oh, not to mention still no job, classes are sucking big time, and im still a little sick. woot.
and thats basically summing it up. lets just say that im tired of all this shit. i don't even know why i allow myself to care so damn much. whenever i do people hurt me,stab me in the back and lie about me,or just get up and leave all together. why people are so scared of someone that just wants them to be happy i don't fucking know.
whats so wrong with being nice,caring, romantic,friendly,helpful,generous,courteous?
are these really bad things? am i doing something wrong here? should i just become an asshole like everyone else? they always seem to have a bunch of friends and girls just flock to them....bah i couldn't fucking do that if i wanted to.
but it never seems to matter who im in any relationship with, thats how it ends. whether its a gf, or just a plain friend, guy or girl, sometimes even family. it doesn't matter. hell, out of all the friends i had, only a couple haven't turned on me or left me yet. but I rarely get to talk to them anyways, so that doesn't help much.
....why does this always happen? when will someone just let themselves be happy with me? when will things ever work out? why do i care? someone please tell me, or give me some hope. cuz right now i really need it. i have a bad feeling that the relationship im in right now is going down that same path, and i really don't want it to.I really care about her, and love spending time with her and it seemed like we were starting to get closer and more happy but i guess not. but i don't think there is anything i can really do about it, just like all the others. oh well.
gah. i hate my life, at least 73% of the time.
anyone wanna help bring that down a bit? maybe 50%?
your hopeless, hapless, hippie,
justin
and thats basically summing it up. lets just say that im tired of all this shit. i don't even know why i allow myself to care so damn much. whenever i do people hurt me,stab me in the back and lie about me,or just get up and leave all together. why people are so scared of someone that just wants them to be happy i don't fucking know.
whats so wrong with being nice,caring, romantic,friendly,helpful,generous,courteous?
are these really bad things? am i doing something wrong here? should i just become an asshole like everyone else? they always seem to have a bunch of friends and girls just flock to them....bah i couldn't fucking do that if i wanted to.
but it never seems to matter who im in any relationship with, thats how it ends. whether its a gf, or just a plain friend, guy or girl, sometimes even family. it doesn't matter. hell, out of all the friends i had, only a couple haven't turned on me or left me yet. but I rarely get to talk to them anyways, so that doesn't help much.
....why does this always happen? when will someone just let themselves be happy with me? when will things ever work out? why do i care? someone please tell me, or give me some hope. cuz right now i really need it. i have a bad feeling that the relationship im in right now is going down that same path, and i really don't want it to.I really care about her, and love spending time with her and it seemed like we were starting to get closer and more happy but i guess not. but i don't think there is anything i can really do about it, just like all the others. oh well.
gah. i hate my life, at least 73% of the time.
anyone wanna help bring that down a bit? maybe 50%?
your hopeless, hapless, hippie,
justin