ok...
so i must admit. i hate going home. it holds nothing for me anymore. though there are still people to hang with (the highschoolers from shaws), there are no meaningful relationships anymore. its not like anyone cares or anyone reads this but i'm getting out of here soon. i have to. i don't want to be reminded of how i've fucked up. how i've become nothing. how i've alienated everyone and everything. i hate this place i hate this place i hate this place. everyone is leaving me here and all i have is school. its pretty sweet up here most of the time, but its not enough to survive on. i need something more in life right now. i'm unstable and i'm not ok with it. but who cares right. my parents are pleased that their good little girl is going to school and working for a living. but do they know their little girl is more lost and unhappy then ever. just when i think things are looking up, everything just goes goes goes goes. i hate this. i can't hide behind this facade anymore. i'm lost, alone, and on the brink. but who cares... i'm done and no one even knows that i began.
goodbye
goodbye