(no subject)
Thinking about my Grandpa, the funeral, and my Dad's side of my family breaks my heart. Every single night (and sometimes throughout the day, but every single night without fail) I start to think about things, and it makes me so sad. I feel like I could get lost in the sadness if I allowed myself, like maybe I could drown in it and never come back to the surface... I keep reliving scenes from the funeral, from my Grandma's house, from the cemetary, etc in my head. And I still remember the last time I saw him, and the last thing he said to me, and that makes me want to cry every time I think about it... I want to make my Dad, my Grandma, my aunts and uncles and cousins be ok, and I can't. I hate it. I miss him.