(no subject)
The last few days it seems like no matter what I'm doing, I have that sappy 'I love you' feeling in my heart. The kind that almost makes me unable to do anything but lie on my bed and daydream about love. It's kind of sad. Especially since this time... I've fallen really fast. It was only a matter of days ago that I had little or no feelings for him at all. Now he is in my thoughts all the time.
I've decided that I'm not in love with a person, but rather in love with the idea of being in love. I am so looking forward to what life is going to be like when I am finally with the person who I love. I look forward to dating him, falling in love with him, being engaged to him, marrying him, being professionals together, having children together, raising children together, growing old together... I look forward to it all. (When I say 'him', I am not talking about a particular person, but rather the unknown person who I will be with forever.) I look forward to the feeling of waking up with someone's arms around me and someone's breath on my neck. I look forward to holding hands and kissing his nose.
I guess I'm kind of just a hopeless romantic. I talk about sex a lot... but I really look forward to the cute, innocent things that we will do as an engaged couple. I want to feel his hand on my thigh and his lips on my forehead. I want to run my fingers through his hair.
Yeah, I look forward to the kinky stuff, too. But that's not all of what I'm about. I feel like I've given that impression a lot lately. I really am a hopeless romantic.
If all this happened with a specific 'him'... I would be okay with that. If not, I guess I'm okay with that too.
And end rant.