This is an awesome comment and you have nothing to apologize for. You bring so many good points to the conversation and for me, that's what makes a good conversation. I think your point about being "Special" is actually a really interesting topic. I was thinking about that earlier today in fact. Madison's school like DOESN'T fail people. If you don't want to fail, you don't fail. If you don't hand anything in, they work with you after the semester in what is deemed "Credit Recovery" where they give you time and space to do the assigments and pass the class. I think this comes back to the idea that all kids are special and if we fail them, they won't feel special. Hell, John was telling me that in his college class, on of the profs asked what the lowest passing grade he could give someone was because he wasn't allowed to fail a student (not John).
There's a misunderstanding here. This misunderstanding is the difference between intrinsic value and earned value. Intrinsic value is like a right. It's self evident. You exist and you are human and that means something. You get a certain level of respect. In Canada, you get health care. You get police protections (in theory). There are all kinds of rights that you are given based on your value as a human being. Someone can't just come up and shoot you in the head with no repercussions.
Now what I think the schools are trying to do is make sure kids know that even if they are not brilliant or good at sports or attractive, that they are not worthless. Which is good in my opinion. What they are doing is giving them a sense of entitlement where they think they should get special treatment and that doesn't work. That's where if everyone is special and deserves special treatment, then no one is special. What we need to teach kids is that even if they get all Cs in school or get picked last for dodgeball that they are not worthless.
So that's the other type of value: what someone contributes. Now that is true in terms of what a person contributes to society, their family and their friends. This value is basically someone value to others. It's external (whereas the other kind was internal). That is also fairly subjective though. There are doctor's who saved Sunny's life and I very much value their knowledge and skill, but they don't mean fuck all to someone who has never been really sick. Similarly, I think you're a wonderful friend and I really value your friendship, but my best friend from grade school really doesn't give a fuck about you at all.
That makes it a difficult way to measure someone's value or at the very least, a number of different scales to use to measure someone's value because no two people will judge someone the same way. For instance, I don't really know exactly what you do for you job (I know a little, but not the details) and I have no idea how good you are at it compared to other people who do similar things. That aspect of your life doesn't really impact how I value you.
So where does that leave us? For me, I do care about people on the other side of the planet who I've never met. I'm horrified at what a lot of people have to live (or die) with (there as well as here). They matter to me, but not as much as you or the people I do personally know. And I really care about people who make contributions to society. I think that's important. But once again, I sat at Sunny's bedside while she was sick in the hospital every day. I didn't really sit with anyone else while I was there though and I don't go to see anyone now that she's out.
Really, the way my brain keeps it all in perspective is that I remember that one day, far in the future, our sun will explode and our solar system will die. And nothing that happened on our planet will matter anymore. We'll all be wiped from history and the universe will go on without us. So it really comes down to being the person I want to be and having the effect I desire on the people I care about. The value we have is the value we decide we have because in the grand scheme of things, none of it really matters all that much so we should just make the best of it. For some reason, that takes a lot of the pressure off for me. I find it calming. I've decided who I want to be and I judge my self worth on how I'm doing at achieving that. And while I want my family and my friends, and my boss to also see my value, I can only control that so much. All those different people will judge my efforts and pay me in whatever currency those relationships dictate (i.e. love from my spouse or fuckin' cold hard cash from my boss).
As for everyone else? I let them judge their own worth as humans. Their own friends and families and bosses will judge their values in those regards and reward them accordingly. I value them for their humanity and I think that comes with certain rights (as I said before) and if I had more time or more energy I might do more to help those in need. I certainly recognize that a lot of people haven't had the opportunities or privilege or support that I have had. In different circumstances, we all could end up totally fucked. So I'll give them respect and recognize their value. Now I'm just babbling I think.
There's a misunderstanding here. This misunderstanding is the difference between intrinsic value and earned value. Intrinsic value is like a right. It's self evident. You exist and you are human and that means something. You get a certain level of respect. In Canada, you get health care. You get police protections (in theory). There are all kinds of rights that you are given based on your value as a human being. Someone can't just come up and shoot you in the head with no repercussions.
Now what I think the schools are trying to do is make sure kids know that even if they are not brilliant or good at sports or attractive, that they are not worthless. Which is good in my opinion. What they are doing is giving them a sense of entitlement where they think they should get special treatment and that doesn't work. That's where if everyone is special and deserves special treatment, then no one is special. What we need to teach kids is that even if they get all Cs in school or get picked last for dodgeball that they are not worthless.
So that's the other type of value: what someone contributes. Now that is true in terms of what a person contributes to society, their family and their friends. This value is basically someone value to others. It's external (whereas the other kind was internal). That is also fairly subjective though. There are doctor's who saved Sunny's life and I very much value their knowledge and skill, but they don't mean fuck all to someone who has never been really sick. Similarly, I think you're a wonderful friend and I really value your friendship, but my best friend from grade school really doesn't give a fuck about you at all.
That makes it a difficult way to measure someone's value or at the very least, a number of different scales to use to measure someone's value because no two people will judge someone the same way. For instance, I don't really know exactly what you do for you job (I know a little, but not the details) and I have no idea how good you are at it compared to other people who do similar things. That aspect of your life doesn't really impact how I value you.
So where does that leave us? For me, I do care about people on the other side of the planet who I've never met. I'm horrified at what a lot of people have to live (or die) with (there as well as here). They matter to me, but not as much as you or the people I do personally know. And I really care about people who make contributions to society. I think that's important. But once again, I sat at Sunny's bedside while she was sick in the hospital every day. I didn't really sit with anyone else while I was there though and I don't go to see anyone now that she's out.
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Really, the way my brain keeps it all in perspective is that I remember that one day, far in the future, our sun will explode and our solar system will die. And nothing that happened on our planet will matter anymore. We'll all be wiped from history and the universe will go on without us. So it really comes down to being the person I want to be and having the effect I desire on the people I care about. The value we have is the value we decide we have because in the grand scheme of things, none of it really matters all that much so we should just make the best of it. For some reason, that takes a lot of the pressure off for me. I find it calming. I've decided who I want to be and I judge my self worth on how I'm doing at achieving that. And while I want my family and my friends, and my boss to also see my value, I can only control that so much. All those different people will judge my efforts and pay me in whatever currency those relationships dictate (i.e. love from my spouse or fuckin' cold hard cash from my boss).
As for everyone else? I let them judge their own worth as humans. Their own friends and families and bosses will judge their values in those regards and reward them accordingly. I value them for their humanity and I think that comes with certain rights (as I said before) and if I had more time or more energy I might do more to help those in need. I certainly recognize that a lot of people haven't had the opportunities or privilege or support that I have had. In different circumstances, we all could end up totally fucked. So I'll give them respect and recognize their value. Now I'm just babbling I think.
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