(no subject)
i've been feeling alone. for some reason lately i've just felt disconnected with everyone. i've slept weird hours and been on weird drugs. being on crutches also just separates you from everyone. i dont know. i've spent more time in my room and thought for longer on different issues.
i like my parents. i'll miss them when they're not in my life anymore whether that be when i move away or when they pass away. i want to learn everything my dad knows. i like his level-headedness. i want to know how to live life. i'm wondering what job i should get. what really interests me. not that it's a logical worry at all, but i was wondering, if i got married right now, who would my best man be? i dont have good male friends. i'm not good at being friends with guys really. i'm better at girls. i wish i could talk to garrett for way too long about strange things i wouldn't've thought about without him. maybe i'm just grass is greener. i've been wondering whether i'm not good at certain interactions necessary for having good friends, or whether i'm dissimilar to lots of people here. would there be people more like me at a big foreign college or would i find a depressingly opposite result of even more loneliness.
i want to fall asleep and have missed the next five years of my life when i wake up. i'm wondering where i'll end up. i want to make decisions that matter, but i want to learn about myself first.
fuck.
i'm just confused about lots of things and i want to land. i dont know people. i'm not good enough at people. people is everything. i want to fall asleep and have it all figured out when i wake up. i wish it made sense now.
so i feel alone. separated from normal interactions. i'm putting on my face, my best guess at regular. oh well. i'll figure it out eventually.
i like my parents. i'll miss them when they're not in my life anymore whether that be when i move away or when they pass away. i want to learn everything my dad knows. i like his level-headedness. i want to know how to live life. i'm wondering what job i should get. what really interests me. not that it's a logical worry at all, but i was wondering, if i got married right now, who would my best man be? i dont have good male friends. i'm not good at being friends with guys really. i'm better at girls. i wish i could talk to garrett for way too long about strange things i wouldn't've thought about without him. maybe i'm just grass is greener. i've been wondering whether i'm not good at certain interactions necessary for having good friends, or whether i'm dissimilar to lots of people here. would there be people more like me at a big foreign college or would i find a depressingly opposite result of even more loneliness.
i want to fall asleep and have missed the next five years of my life when i wake up. i'm wondering where i'll end up. i want to make decisions that matter, but i want to learn about myself first.
fuck.
i'm just confused about lots of things and i want to land. i dont know people. i'm not good enough at people. people is everything. i want to fall asleep and have it all figured out when i wake up. i wish it made sense now.
so i feel alone. separated from normal interactions. i'm putting on my face, my best guess at regular. oh well. i'll figure it out eventually.