looking forward
psshhh... too many things to think about right now, im kind of inhaling before i jump into the ocean to drown. my last breath before i wont have any time at all, and it's already filling up. i dont want to make too many promises i cant keep. i have too many things i want to do. there are too many options for me, and as of right now ive just gone with a little of everything. there will be major conflicts later im sure, but right now it's all a soupy mess. im not scared or worried, i wouldnt be doing these things if i didnt think i could do them. and it's not like i dont enjoy everything im doing. the only thing is that i wont have spare time. the kind of time i can fall asleep during, or play guitar, or drum in my room without a purpose. basically, the freedom of summer is being drained from my life. the only thing im worried about is how i handle the stress when im at home.
im usually not the best at controlling my annoyances at home. i can take out my frustrations on my mom a lot, mostly unfairly. ill be way too annoyed if she loses something of mine, or if she's late when she said she'd pick me up on time. i wish i was more in control of some things in my life. like i wish i always had a car. so i could be responsible for where i was, when, and not depend on a ride, which deals with my mom's schedule.
overall, i have things ive been meaning to get to that i dont think will get done for a while. i have a lot of promises to keep and a lot of goals to reach for. it will be over before i know it and then i'll exhale. it will feel good, but i bet i'd be willing to do it all over again.
peace
im usually not the best at controlling my annoyances at home. i can take out my frustrations on my mom a lot, mostly unfairly. ill be way too annoyed if she loses something of mine, or if she's late when she said she'd pick me up on time. i wish i was more in control of some things in my life. like i wish i always had a car. so i could be responsible for where i was, when, and not depend on a ride, which deals with my mom's schedule.
overall, i have things ive been meaning to get to that i dont think will get done for a while. i have a lot of promises to keep and a lot of goals to reach for. it will be over before i know it and then i'll exhale. it will feel good, but i bet i'd be willing to do it all over again.
peace