(no subject)
It has been an interesting time. Work is good, it helps keep my mind occupied and focused on real, productive things. Kate asked me today if the things bothering me have cleared up and I said honestly 'yes and no.' Work is nice. Driving to work is like just leaving behind everything in Richmond (literally, the clinic is in Midlothian) and achieving tangible results in life. Tours on campus are fun but rather monotonous. It's fun to see if parents have the guts to ask about the alcohol policy and stuff like that but it's so temporary. Not my type of relationships..
"Don't say it will stay this way forever" from "Who am I?" by NFG is playing as I write. Interesting...Great, and now "Asthenia" just came on "This time where are you Houston, is somebody out there, will somebody listen...should I go back, should I go back should I? I feel alone and tired"
I'm talking to the lovely Jeanette right now, who sometimes seems to be the only person I can talk to on stuff. I can't believe how close we got and that I'd tell her certain things I thought I'd never tell anyone. God Bless you, Nettie, and **** those that mess with you. You're better than that. 'nough said. She just informed me that the portion of the post dedicated to her better be hott (why two t's???) so I hope this qualifies.
Now Lit's "My Own Worst Enemy" just came on. This was supposed to be a random playlist...
I really want to go home. I want my puppies, my clinic, my town. It's been so long. I just want to see grass that isn't all thick and sparce.
Now "The Ataris" are playing "So Long, Astoria"...
Now "The Fray" and "How To Save A Life" I'm typing slowing as thoughts come to me. I could do a whole thing on this song alone. Oh, the things this song means to me. Especially since Kate introduced me to The Fray. Thanks, friend! Working for Richond Magazine now, by the way.
Corinne's at the beach. Not cool. In fact, it's very hot there I guess. Whatever I did a tour today and it was 100 so...
How to save a life...
A plane crashed near my home. Pilot's dead, three homes destroyed. Could've crashed on my house. Our clinic. My friends. Scary. Dying can take a long time but death is instantaneous. Sometimes they both are. God Bless the pilot and his valient effort to save lives. Which he did.
"Raise your hand in mine, I'll leave when I wanna..."
I feel like running really fast and far. Reminds me of Forrest Gump, a great movie which always raises such strong and mixed emotions in me. I wish I didn't remember so easily the details of what's going on when big things happen to me. Worse is when little things happen that are big to me so no one knows how hurt I am except me and I don't want to say why. It's so strange how hard I study for exams and forget stuff, but remember like it just happened certain things in life. I remember the exact time some things were said (or done) and the details of the environment. The exact time on the clock, the exact speed of the car I was driving when something was said, the mile marker, the food on the counter, the arrangement of the pillows on a bed, the exact away message someone put up on a specific date, the exact thoughts I had. There are places I can't eat because of what the place means to me, movies I can't watch without getting down. I'm trying to get myself to associate some positive things with things too but somehow it's easier to forget exactly what you were doing when you got into UR or scored the winning goal. Whatever, that's life. I've always found that expecting the worst means it can't end up worse than you imagined.
Wow, this ended sad. Ooops. Maybe it's because Corinne's not here. Miss you...
Anyway, I'm really tired. Bedtime.
Cheers, friends!
"Don't say it will stay this way forever" from "Who am I?" by NFG is playing as I write. Interesting...Great, and now "Asthenia" just came on "This time where are you Houston, is somebody out there, will somebody listen...should I go back, should I go back should I? I feel alone and tired"
I'm talking to the lovely Jeanette right now, who sometimes seems to be the only person I can talk to on stuff. I can't believe how close we got and that I'd tell her certain things I thought I'd never tell anyone. God Bless you, Nettie, and **** those that mess with you. You're better than that. 'nough said. She just informed me that the portion of the post dedicated to her better be hott (why two t's???) so I hope this qualifies.
Now Lit's "My Own Worst Enemy" just came on. This was supposed to be a random playlist...
I really want to go home. I want my puppies, my clinic, my town. It's been so long. I just want to see grass that isn't all thick and sparce.
Now "The Ataris" are playing "So Long, Astoria"...
Now "The Fray" and "How To Save A Life" I'm typing slowing as thoughts come to me. I could do a whole thing on this song alone. Oh, the things this song means to me. Especially since Kate introduced me to The Fray. Thanks, friend! Working for Richond Magazine now, by the way.
Corinne's at the beach. Not cool. In fact, it's very hot there I guess. Whatever I did a tour today and it was 100 so...
How to save a life...
A plane crashed near my home. Pilot's dead, three homes destroyed. Could've crashed on my house. Our clinic. My friends. Scary. Dying can take a long time but death is instantaneous. Sometimes they both are. God Bless the pilot and his valient effort to save lives. Which he did.
"Raise your hand in mine, I'll leave when I wanna..."
I feel like running really fast and far. Reminds me of Forrest Gump, a great movie which always raises such strong and mixed emotions in me. I wish I didn't remember so easily the details of what's going on when big things happen to me. Worse is when little things happen that are big to me so no one knows how hurt I am except me and I don't want to say why. It's so strange how hard I study for exams and forget stuff, but remember like it just happened certain things in life. I remember the exact time some things were said (or done) and the details of the environment. The exact time on the clock, the exact speed of the car I was driving when something was said, the mile marker, the food on the counter, the arrangement of the pillows on a bed, the exact away message someone put up on a specific date, the exact thoughts I had. There are places I can't eat because of what the place means to me, movies I can't watch without getting down. I'm trying to get myself to associate some positive things with things too but somehow it's easier to forget exactly what you were doing when you got into UR or scored the winning goal. Whatever, that's life. I've always found that expecting the worst means it can't end up worse than you imagined.
Wow, this ended sad. Ooops. Maybe it's because Corinne's not here. Miss you...
Anyway, I'm really tired. Bedtime.
Cheers, friends!