Untitled
Throughout my life it’s been the same
I want to be close be more than a name
I want a close friend someone who’ll be there
But at the end of they day you just don’t care
I would place my palm over a flame for you
Let it curdle and boil and burn its way through
But you would never do the same for me
You won’t even waste a breath and blow it away
It’s the same song just a different verse
I open up to you but in the end I curse
And I yell at myself why did I do that
Why did you say that what did you expect
‘Cause the pain that comes with all of this
It digs deep inside suppressing all bliss
You gave me a flower I gave you a wreath
You mean so much why can’t I mean the same?
What did I ever do to deserve this?
What the hell went wrong with us?
Why am I the only one who gives a damn
Why do I let it out and you hold it in
You don’t understand what you put me through
I worked I wanted to be at one with you
So when I take the time to show you love
When I think you must have been sent from above
And I find that in the end you don’t care
Well it’s just too much for me bear
I’ll chuckle and smile when you go and say
‘I’d love to come visit but it’s so far away’
Why is it so funny that I say ‘when we’
And you laugh and say ‘you mean if we’
What’s so bad about saying it’s real
Do you know how that makes me feel
You can hide behind the distance and miles
You can laugh and beam me a smile
But in the end it’s the same old thing
I play it’s funny but it hurts me
Whatever that’s what I get I guess
For laying it out when I confess
That I think you’re worth the time
But in the end I guess it’s not worth it
Maybe it’s best to forget this and forfeit
Any hopes of ever being close to you
Forgive me but I can’t see this through
What did I ever do to deserve this?
What the hell went wrong with us?
Why am I the only one who gives a damn
Why do I let it out and you hold it in
You don’t understand what you put me through
I worked I wanted to be at one with you
So when I take the time to show you love
When I think you must have been sent from above
And I find that in the end you don’t care
Well it’s just too much for me bear
Not much to say except this song about getting screwed by someone in the sense that you put a whole lot of love and effort into a relationship and they take it all in without giving you much back. It's about being really pissed at the realization that you try harder than they do and you resent them for it. Then you resent yourself. It's a vicious cycle really. This song isnt written for any one person but is rather the culmination of experiences I've had from 5th or 6th grade up through now, on both coasts, guys and girls. Universal, really. It's actually dedicated to a friend here at UR with whom I've talked for many hours on this subject, though she is definitely not a reason I wrote it. :)
My insurance company is now saying I'm responsible for paying for my rental car which is total b.s. and I'm really pissed they're pulling this card. Worse for them, though, because they could not have chosen a worse time to mess with me. So...bring it on.
My knee hurts again after feeling good for a year. Lovely. I can't be mad at my knee, though. It's my fault for running around the lake 3 miles every night freshman year.
Congrats to Virginia and Ghana. Hoo-ray for W.C. soccer. I predict the United Arab Emirates (holla to my UAE teammates in Ciulla's class) will win it all. They haven't lost a game yet.
And with that, I'm going to go try and occupy my mind with things I associate with happy or benevolent. Depressing and painful is just not fun and they need to share the court.
P.S. Here's a good one of C
I want to be close be more than a name
I want a close friend someone who’ll be there
But at the end of they day you just don’t care
I would place my palm over a flame for you
Let it curdle and boil and burn its way through
But you would never do the same for me
You won’t even waste a breath and blow it away
It’s the same song just a different verse
I open up to you but in the end I curse
And I yell at myself why did I do that
Why did you say that what did you expect
‘Cause the pain that comes with all of this
It digs deep inside suppressing all bliss
You gave me a flower I gave you a wreath
You mean so much why can’t I mean the same?
What did I ever do to deserve this?
What the hell went wrong with us?
Why am I the only one who gives a damn
Why do I let it out and you hold it in
You don’t understand what you put me through
I worked I wanted to be at one with you
So when I take the time to show you love
When I think you must have been sent from above
And I find that in the end you don’t care
Well it’s just too much for me bear
I’ll chuckle and smile when you go and say
‘I’d love to come visit but it’s so far away’
Why is it so funny that I say ‘when we’
And you laugh and say ‘you mean if we’
What’s so bad about saying it’s real
Do you know how that makes me feel
You can hide behind the distance and miles
You can laugh and beam me a smile
But in the end it’s the same old thing
I play it’s funny but it hurts me
Whatever that’s what I get I guess
For laying it out when I confess
That I think you’re worth the time
But in the end I guess it’s not worth it
Maybe it’s best to forget this and forfeit
Any hopes of ever being close to you
Forgive me but I can’t see this through
What did I ever do to deserve this?
What the hell went wrong with us?
Why am I the only one who gives a damn
Why do I let it out and you hold it in
You don’t understand what you put me through
I worked I wanted to be at one with you
So when I take the time to show you love
When I think you must have been sent from above
And I find that in the end you don’t care
Well it’s just too much for me bear
Not much to say except this song about getting screwed by someone in the sense that you put a whole lot of love and effort into a relationship and they take it all in without giving you much back. It's about being really pissed at the realization that you try harder than they do and you resent them for it. Then you resent yourself. It's a vicious cycle really. This song isnt written for any one person but is rather the culmination of experiences I've had from 5th or 6th grade up through now, on both coasts, guys and girls. Universal, really. It's actually dedicated to a friend here at UR with whom I've talked for many hours on this subject, though she is definitely not a reason I wrote it. :)
My insurance company is now saying I'm responsible for paying for my rental car which is total b.s. and I'm really pissed they're pulling this card. Worse for them, though, because they could not have chosen a worse time to mess with me. So...bring it on.
My knee hurts again after feeling good for a year. Lovely. I can't be mad at my knee, though. It's my fault for running around the lake 3 miles every night freshman year.
Congrats to Virginia and Ghana. Hoo-ray for W.C. soccer. I predict the United Arab Emirates (holla to my UAE teammates in Ciulla's class) will win it all. They haven't lost a game yet.
And with that, I'm going to go try and occupy my mind with things I associate with happy or benevolent. Depressing and painful is just not fun and they need to share the court.
P.S. Here's a good one of C