Comments | 453gof_flesh: quarante quatre: a hidden confession.

453gof_flesh

quarante quatre: a hidden confession.

Mar 12, 2011 15:39

Oh, another flood. How pleasant.

Someone asked me last week I think. It's harder to keep track of time here. what the point of the port was. I didn't want to tell him. I had good reason ( Read more... )

post-apocolyptica, paying for your love, every man for himself and god for all, clapet believes in destiny, exploiting your desperation, even clapet has a daughter, survival is key

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Private actuallyagolem March 12 2011, 19:26:44 UTC

Hey.

Re: Private 453gof_flesh March 12 2011, 19:28:04 UTC

Hey.

Re: Private actuallyagolem March 12 2011, 20:13:23 UTC

You just keep surprising me.

Re: Private 453gof_flesh March 12 2011, 22:56:24 UTC

The flood got me, mostly.

Re: Private actuallyagolem March 12 2011, 23:34:33 UTC

Flood didn't dictate what you kept saying though.

Re: Private 453gof_flesh March 12 2011, 23:35:42 UTC

...They made it more personal than it was intended to be, though.

Re: Private actuallyagolem March 12 2011, 23:40:32 UTC

That's the first time I've ever heard you talk about your wife.

Re: Private 453gof_flesh March 12 2011, 23:43:00 UTC

There's a reason for that, Donny.

Maybe it's all just to do with distancing myself. Like the names. Makes what I did easier. It shouldn't be easy.

Re: Private actuallyagolem March 12 2011, 23:50:53 UTC

So you're the Butcher, and the Clown is the clown, and your daughter was - what? She was always just Julie, wasn't she? The one thing you really didn't want to distance yourself from.

Was your wife dead before your started getting that desperate? I mean no disrespect to her when I ask, Clapet.

Re: Private 453gof_flesh March 12 2011, 23:53:39 UTC

Always Julie. Never anything else.

[long pause]

Oui, she was. Back when Julie was younger. Towards the end of the war.

Re: Private actuallyagolem March 12 2011, 23:56:00 UTC

I'm sorry you lost her.

Re: Private 453gof_flesh March 12 2011, 23:59:09 UTC

Mm. Merci.

I'm glad she didn't see...

Re: Private actuallyagolem March 13 2011, 00:04:15 UTC

Losing someone you love can make you cling even tighter to the people you have left.

Stuff like that and surviving a really bad war will make a person do crazy things.

Re: Private 453gof_flesh March 13 2011, 00:06:24 UTC

Oui.

I couldn't stop that. I needed to keep control of what I'd got left. I couldn't just sit and hope, and this is where it ends.

Re: Private actuallyagolem March 13 2011, 00:10:43 UTC

Because if you didn't keep some control, you might lose what you'd have left.

Did you ever fear dying and leaving Julie alone, or did that not cross your mind?

Re: Private 453gof_flesh March 13 2011, 00:13:43 UTC

I constantly feared dying. Mainly for that reason alone. I didn't think anyone could get to me whilst I was their only source of food, the only person prepared to go to those lengths.

And if I died, she'd have all that money I had. She'd have the building. That was the protection I could leave her.

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