Nothing.
Didn't go out last night.
Cried on my drive home. Got in. Cried myself to sleep. Slept for an hour in my clothes. Woke up. Changed into my pajamas. Cried myself back to sleep. Had my most recent reaccuring nightmare. Woke up. Screamed silently into the darkness for an hour as I was too dehydrated to cry. Fell asleep again until 6:30am. Woke up. Read until dad went out at 11ish. Got up. Fetched ice cream. Got back into bed. Read and ate ice cream.
Ice cream is now melting in the pot next to my bed and I need to be washed, dressed and in town in (hopefully) half an hour. Or I got the appointment time wrong. Again. And I was supposed to be there at 2.
Will do eye test. Will probably not drop in on the Smiths guys and gals. Will probably slink home, try to avoid dad and get back into bed.
Am a shit person. Am a shit daughter, a shit grandaughter, a crappy friend, a fuck up, a failing student and I am shit at my job.
Am likely to fail the rest of this course, the other course that I've not even started, and get fired from my job. Will lose all my friends, my girlfriend and will be yet again alone and hated by my family.
I know my failings, I know where I'm shit at things and yet I repeat myself over and over and over again and end up in the same fucking place as always.
Everything has decended into tears and swearing and being shit at everything.
Need to grow the fuck up. Need to do a lot of things that I'm not doing.