Oh God!
I know I haven't updated in a long time, but something momentous just happened. In my bathroom.
About two weeks ago, i purchased a new cellular phone, which I haven't done since 2002 or so.
About ten minutes ago, I pulled up my pants and flushed without realizing that MY PHONE HAD FALLEN OUT OF MY BACK
POCKET INTO THE TOILET! NOW MY PHONE IS SOMEWHERE IN THE SEWER SYSTEM OF THE CITY OF CLEARWATER, FLOATING LIKE A TURD TO THE SEA OR THE PROCESSING PLANT (or wherever our blessed wastewater goes...).
My dearly beloved SIM card, containing 200 phone numbers, 190 of which I haven't dialed in years, is moving on in the circle of life. A grouper will eat it. A shark will eat that grouper. The shark will die and be eaten by blue crabs, who are in turn caught and served to fat tourists at Crabby Dan's salmonella shack in Boise Idaho or wherever.
(I am not oblivious to the fact that my phone was made of completely unbiodegradeable plastic and it won't really be incorporated into the bodies of these sea creatures...It's just a fantasy, you know? Maybe the arsenic from the circuit boards, or other lovely heavy metals used in the manufacture of electronics of which I am unaware, will somehow wend their way into the biosphere.)
RIP Samsung t519. We hardly knew ye....
