Everyone needs a 宋柳娟
I honestly have not been interested in any dramas produced by TVB for a very long time because I am just so bored of the repetitive nature of the storylines and the character progressions. I could literally write an entire rant about my love and hate for TVB dramas but I'll leave that for another day.
But recently, I have been hooked on a new TVB drama called "Swipe Tap Love" (愛我請留言) . I think it's quite interesting as it deals with 20-30 year olds and their relationships. The main female character (茹初見) is dealing with the cooling off period with her 4 year relationship to her boyfriend (張日熙) she doesn't understand why they feel so disconnected now even though they contact each other through mobile and see each other face-to-face. He starts hiding the fact that he's having fun on his own and with his work colleagues (one, an attractive young female called Linda) and she feels like she cannot trust him anymore after checking his phone on numerous occassions to verify the truth in his excuses. She keeps comparing her relationship to when they first began in 2009 (the year of the drama is 2013) and how things have changed between them. She reaches the stage when she feels underappreciated and she just doesn't feel happy in the relationship anymore. She eventually realises this and decides to call it quits. However, when her boyfriend messages to tell her that he misses her, her emotions run crazy and she almost decided to respond to him and fall back into the hole that she just dug herself out of. But instead, she decided to ignore the message and called her best friend 宋柳娟 out for a good heart-to-heart conversation (with a beer on the pier, of course).
茹初見 regularly converses with her best friend 宋柳娟 or "Natasha" as she likes to refer to herself. She is the typical HK girl or 港女, the modern HK female archetype that I wrote about descriptively in the past here. Whilst she has those 港女 attributes, I adore her character. She's modern, confident, outspoken and doesn't give a crap about what people think. Of course, she's not superwoman - she has to deal with her own set of issues (in her case, possibly a cheating boyfriend). But most importantly, she will give you the non-sugar coated and non-BS truth when it's necessary and she'll be there for you to confide in when you're dealing with your own problems.
From personal experience, I don't think I have come across many people like that. Sure, I have friends that I hang out with from time to time but generally conversation topics remain within the "safe" everyday topics of work and TV shows. Little do we ever reach the stage where I'm comfortable to rant about my own personal issues.
However, I guess I am a self-confessed cynic and I do have major trust issues so that's probably why I rarely share my problems with other people XD
In any case, I really think it's important to have someone like that to confide in . I know how difficult it is to keep your own issues to yourself. You think that you're doing everyone a favour by keeping your problems to yourself and not sharing it with those around you. The problems weigh a tonne in your mind but you think that it's easier to let it sit there rather than talk to someone for fear of being seen as a weird person or a drama-queen. You have it in your mind that no one understands and you're smart enough so you should be able to deal with the problems yourself but this is rarely the case as your thoughts just keep going around in circles.
Believe me, I've been there. When I'm in my neverending spiral of "figuring out my problems" I just end up more and more confused. I get tired and I don't even want to think about it (this can occur before or after I start bawling my eyes out about how futile everything is). But I have learned that social interaction and communication about your problems is extremely important. It's true that the person you decide to confide with may not be able to help you at all with your problems. But that isn't the point. It's having someone to patiently listen and allow you speak about your troubles and issues. It does help to share your problems and even when you think that you're just dragging the other person down with your emotional baggage - more often than not, the other person doesn't think that at all.
Just in case anyone was wondering, no, I did not attend a therapy session or anything - I just decided to give it a shot at talking to a friend when I was at breaking point. I was extremely skeptical about picking up the phone and calling someone. I was looking at my contact list and thought to myself: what's the point? But when you've reached that point that I was at, you really don't care anymore and just go for it. My problems were still there but I felt better because they felt subordinate to what I had gained: a confidant that listens and understands. It allows me to face my problems (or let it sit there) knowing that I will always have someone that I can approach for conversation and support whenever I needed it.
So, that's why I think everyone should have a 宋柳娟: someone that they can trust and confide in, such as a family member or friend. Of course, we should all be cautious of who we reveal our issues and problems to as some may seek to take advantage of you. That's where common sense and your own basic instinct comes in and only YOU can determine that.
I've found mine and I hope everyone who doesn't have a 宋柳娟 will find one soon! :)
But recently, I have been hooked on a new TVB drama called "Swipe Tap Love" (愛我請留言) . I think it's quite interesting as it deals with 20-30 year olds and their relationships. The main female character (茹初見) is dealing with the cooling off period with her 4 year relationship to her boyfriend (張日熙) she doesn't understand why they feel so disconnected now even though they contact each other through mobile and see each other face-to-face. He starts hiding the fact that he's having fun on his own and with his work colleagues (one, an attractive young female called Linda) and she feels like she cannot trust him anymore after checking his phone on numerous occassions to verify the truth in his excuses. She keeps comparing her relationship to when they first began in 2009 (the year of the drama is 2013) and how things have changed between them. She reaches the stage when she feels underappreciated and she just doesn't feel happy in the relationship anymore. She eventually realises this and decides to call it quits. However, when her boyfriend messages to tell her that he misses her, her emotions run crazy and she almost decided to respond to him and fall back into the hole that she just dug herself out of. But instead, she decided to ignore the message and called her best friend 宋柳娟 out for a good heart-to-heart conversation (with a beer on the pier, of course).
茹初見 regularly converses with her best friend 宋柳娟 or "Natasha" as she likes to refer to herself. She is the typical HK girl or 港女, the modern HK female archetype that I wrote about descriptively in the past here. Whilst she has those 港女 attributes, I adore her character. She's modern, confident, outspoken and doesn't give a crap about what people think. Of course, she's not superwoman - she has to deal with her own set of issues (in her case, possibly a cheating boyfriend). But most importantly, she will give you the non-sugar coated and non-BS truth when it's necessary and she'll be there for you to confide in when you're dealing with your own problems.
From personal experience, I don't think I have come across many people like that. Sure, I have friends that I hang out with from time to time but generally conversation topics remain within the "safe" everyday topics of work and TV shows. Little do we ever reach the stage where I'm comfortable to rant about my own personal issues.
However, I guess I am a self-confessed cynic and I do have major trust issues so that's probably why I rarely share my problems with other people XD
In any case, I really think it's important to have someone like that to confide in . I know how difficult it is to keep your own issues to yourself. You think that you're doing everyone a favour by keeping your problems to yourself and not sharing it with those around you. The problems weigh a tonne in your mind but you think that it's easier to let it sit there rather than talk to someone for fear of being seen as a weird person or a drama-queen. You have it in your mind that no one understands and you're smart enough so you should be able to deal with the problems yourself but this is rarely the case as your thoughts just keep going around in circles.
Believe me, I've been there. When I'm in my neverending spiral of "figuring out my problems" I just end up more and more confused. I get tired and I don't even want to think about it (this can occur before or after I start bawling my eyes out about how futile everything is). But I have learned that social interaction and communication about your problems is extremely important. It's true that the person you decide to confide with may not be able to help you at all with your problems. But that isn't the point. It's having someone to patiently listen and allow you speak about your troubles and issues. It does help to share your problems and even when you think that you're just dragging the other person down with your emotional baggage - more often than not, the other person doesn't think that at all.
Just in case anyone was wondering, no, I did not attend a therapy session or anything - I just decided to give it a shot at talking to a friend when I was at breaking point. I was extremely skeptical about picking up the phone and calling someone. I was looking at my contact list and thought to myself: what's the point? But when you've reached that point that I was at, you really don't care anymore and just go for it. My problems were still there but I felt better because they felt subordinate to what I had gained: a confidant that listens and understands. It allows me to face my problems (or let it sit there) knowing that I will always have someone that I can approach for conversation and support whenever I needed it.
So, that's why I think everyone should have a 宋柳娟: someone that they can trust and confide in, such as a family member or friend. Of course, we should all be cautious of who we reveal our issues and problems to as some may seek to take advantage of you. That's where common sense and your own basic instinct comes in and only YOU can determine that.
I've found mine and I hope everyone who doesn't have a 宋柳娟 will find one soon! :)