So close yet so far away...
So Exams are coming up YAY!!! not really. It sucks cause Im soo afraid I will freeze up, I always do and I never know why. I can do my work and stuff its just when I get asked a prob or a question about something and I sit there with a blank look on my face fighting with my brain to release the answer. Last semester I prayed that if I just got through one of my classes I would try harder next semester *meaning this semester*. But in a way I broke my promise and I feel really really bad for doin it so ive been busting my ass all day to try and make my study guides and learned it/kept it fresh in my head so that I will know it with no problem. Also it sucks when you are the only one who know what your doing and no one else does for when ya need help. It doesnt help when ya go to a community college also but I like my school, its just like these moments I wish I was at a University where ppl were closer by cause I have no freaking idea where some of my classmates live plus they are all past 30, im the only 20 year old in there...It feels like im one of the last few who is really interest in electronics and stuff but its all good. Oh and gettin back to where I was saying I have no freaking idea where they lived, since they are older a lot of them dont wont to form study groups or things like that so thats why im kinda screwed on finding a study buddy. But anyway....another thing that has happened to me is that im not concentrating on my work ver well, its like I care but I dont care. For more clairification on that sentence..I care about all my work, I care about gettin good grades and doing well and succeeding but the "I dont care" part is me being a slack ass and not gettin on my work and doing it, and the sad part is I tell myself that I need to and I steadily sit there. I need to seek help cause something is simple wrong with me. My 1st year omg I did my work and got really good grades and ever since then ive been slacking.Lifes a bitch then ya die. But I've also though about the good stuff that going on and happening in my life right now ;) lol, that I think I can really pull this off and do well I've just gotta give 110% until its all over and next year get some friends to kick my ass when im being a slack ass! I dont know what to about myself this year, but it has been a pretty difficult year but things have been turning on the sunny side for me so hopefully that will have positive outcomes. Alrighty I've written a shit load, and im sorry about skippin around. Ok back to makin study guides...yes i know its late but like I said im givin 110% even if it kills me*but i hope it doesnt* AHHH ok im gone later lol