you're making me forget...thank you
i've been looking for new things, finding them and relishing in them. old things are going away. 4 teeth went away last week! maybe they're being sold...
i really really like how you can feel change. when you're stuck in moments that get you down, and you can't runaway from them, but you know that forward is the only way to go...that's the best feeling. because you know that time makes old, bad, things go away. *I* know that time does this, and that's something comforting to me.
i can't believe the summer is over. i've been complaining since the day i got home but now that it's over it seems like 3 months really went by fast. i'm so glad i got to spend time with my family...lots and lots of time. no one wants me to leave; and i feel bad, should i? i always worry about them. i'll make it a point to come home and visit often. mom and i are getting better..finally. there was always such a huge elephant in the room when there was just the 2 of us, talking. that was so awkward at times. mom knows who i am and we're moving along and past the secrets.
my brother is NOT who he used to be. we used to be so close...he's SO far away right now. is it a phase? i know i went through phases but was i ever that disconnected? i'd like to talk to him but the time is fleeting. he'll understand what i know someday.
i didn't like the feeling of being on pain medicine. it wasn't me. i was drunk and sleepy...i can't even remember what happened. i slept 2 whole days away! i never do that. i never stop, always go. i guess it felt good to catch up on sleep. i wonder what happens in your body when you're taking pain pills and antibiotics and birth control and heart medicine simultaneously. maybe it's best that i don't know. why do people abuse PILLS?! i don't even know.
on the brink of huge changes...but with steady, familiar routines. i can't wait to bask in the FRESHNESS! i hope i do well in school...i HAVE to do well in school. i cannot be distracted...don't distract me...don't DO what you do best...don't come near me...leave me alone. you're a drug i don't need.
i want to be good for you. am i? and are you right for me? but...what does it mean to be "right"? i think people have an incredible capacity to be compatible no matter who they are. i never really fashioned the idea of you and i, together. it never really fit, for obvious reasons, but it's incredible how these feelings have changed and developed. i've grown closer to you recently...but so far away. how does that work? it feels so easy, to want you, become used to you. this is scary, and i hate being afraid. if i'm broken again, i'll disappear into myself, and then i'll REALLY be afraid. but i'm not the one who holds back on their emotions...i don't want to be a stubborn person and not enjoy a good thing when it comes. i'm never careful when it comes to emotion. i'm indulgent, sexual, passionate, ready to settle down in you, because i HATE being afraid, and i HATE the idea of being afraid of you...how could i? you make me smile, i miss you, i'll be kissing you soon.
i really really like how you can feel change. when you're stuck in moments that get you down, and you can't runaway from them, but you know that forward is the only way to go...that's the best feeling. because you know that time makes old, bad, things go away. *I* know that time does this, and that's something comforting to me.
i can't believe the summer is over. i've been complaining since the day i got home but now that it's over it seems like 3 months really went by fast. i'm so glad i got to spend time with my family...lots and lots of time. no one wants me to leave; and i feel bad, should i? i always worry about them. i'll make it a point to come home and visit often. mom and i are getting better..finally. there was always such a huge elephant in the room when there was just the 2 of us, talking. that was so awkward at times. mom knows who i am and we're moving along and past the secrets.
my brother is NOT who he used to be. we used to be so close...he's SO far away right now. is it a phase? i know i went through phases but was i ever that disconnected? i'd like to talk to him but the time is fleeting. he'll understand what i know someday.
i didn't like the feeling of being on pain medicine. it wasn't me. i was drunk and sleepy...i can't even remember what happened. i slept 2 whole days away! i never do that. i never stop, always go. i guess it felt good to catch up on sleep. i wonder what happens in your body when you're taking pain pills and antibiotics and birth control and heart medicine simultaneously. maybe it's best that i don't know. why do people abuse PILLS?! i don't even know.
on the brink of huge changes...but with steady, familiar routines. i can't wait to bask in the FRESHNESS! i hope i do well in school...i HAVE to do well in school. i cannot be distracted...don't distract me...don't DO what you do best...don't come near me...leave me alone. you're a drug i don't need.
i want to be good for you. am i? and are you right for me? but...what does it mean to be "right"? i think people have an incredible capacity to be compatible no matter who they are. i never really fashioned the idea of you and i, together. it never really fit, for obvious reasons, but it's incredible how these feelings have changed and developed. i've grown closer to you recently...but so far away. how does that work? it feels so easy, to want you, become used to you. this is scary, and i hate being afraid. if i'm broken again, i'll disappear into myself, and then i'll REALLY be afraid. but i'm not the one who holds back on their emotions...i don't want to be a stubborn person and not enjoy a good thing when it comes. i'm never careful when it comes to emotion. i'm indulgent, sexual, passionate, ready to settle down in you, because i HATE being afraid, and i HATE the idea of being afraid of you...how could i? you make me smile, i miss you, i'll be kissing you soon.