..But they don't want you so fuck 'em.

[418]

I'm going to the movies with Joey. I had the most fucked up time today. I fucking I don't even know. Things need to change. They need to change. My heart feels so numb. I feel so fucking numb to everything. I could kill someone right now and not even give it a second though, not even feel a bit of remorse or fear. That probably sounds bad but I could care less. I'm so sick of bull shit and being hurt for things I can't change, for things that are not my fault, for the fucking ways of the world. I'm so angry and I've been crying listening to Imogen Heap and fucking searing listening to Hatebreed, Staind, Godsmack and Bad Religion. I asked Peter to call me when I got home and he made me feel a little better. I'm still in this unreal mood, I'm just so bitter. People are so fucked up. I want to be the most cruel, mean, cold hearted person so that I won't constantly be hurt by fucking imbeciles but for some reason I can't be cold. I am always here just for people to fucking step on me and fuck with my head and hurt me. I'm conditioned for that reason only. I know that isn't so but that's how it feels and I'm tired of being nice. Being nice has made me weak and insecure and vulnerable.

Anyway I will finish this later. I have to go before Joey gets here. I hope I lighten the fuck up.