the sound
a bulletin i posted earlier on myspace.
"i dont want to sound like a bitch.
but until you hold 5 dead babies in your hands....you havent felt pain like this. you will never understand pain like this. 2 were born dead and the last 3 didnt even have a chance. no matter how hard me and my dad tried to save them..they didnt have a chance. they wouldnt breathe. they didnt have a chance and im so sad. theyre in a shoebox in the garage...and tomorrow morning i have to bury them...i refuse to let my parents jus, throw them in the garbage. ive been depressed, distressed and so out of sorts. partaking in drugs doesnt even help null the pain anymore.
once you realize how corrupt and materialistic everyone around you is...open your eyes. realize that the world around us is collapsing. enjoy your friends. enjoy the fact that they call you jus to talk, to hear your voice. i am SO grateful to have such wonderful people in my life. i want nothing but the best for you, for ALL of you.
p.s
i hate when youre trying to get someones attention before they hang up the phone, to tell they how much they mean to you, and that youre sorry for ever hurting them, and that you love them......and they hang up on you. not because they were bein a dick...but because they werent paying attention."
my pitbull, jamaica, had her puppies today. they were all born premature and they all died. ive been so out of sorts. ive been crying, snapping at everyone. i dont mean to react like this but im so hurt. im so sad. plus doing that heroin fucked with me so much. ive been sick for days, and im jus now getting better. took half a bar earlier and i feel so much better.
if you have the chance, please watch these videos.
the links to them can be found here. PLEASE. its only about 2 hrs per movie, but you will feel so enlightened after watching them. jus give it a chance.
After taking a shower, do you change in the bathroom or in your bedroom?
my room
Has anyone ever made a piece of clothing for you? What was it?
ive had some bracelets made for me before.
Did you collect anything while growing up? What was it?
pokemon cars
If you rented an apartment, would you rather be on the top or bottom floor?
top, because its cheaper and no one can really see into my windows as well.
Take a guess on how many books you have read.
way too many. i love reading.
What's going on with you and the person you last kissed?
im head over heels for him.
Is there anyone you really want to see right now?
yes.
Do you forget to flip the page of your calendar at the start of each month?
i dont use a calender
Do you have any quirky traits?
a couple here n there.
How many people could fit comfortably to sleep in the room you're in?
if you count the floor space like 6 or 7
What's the last thing you searched for on google?
the zeitgeist movie
How would you react if your mom got a lip piercing?
id be like haahah wtf.
Think of a friend whose name starts with any letter between A and M.
jeanne.
How would you react if this friend kissed you?
itd have to be a friendly kinda kiss ya know? no tongue action.
Would you ever go squirrel fishing? [Google it].
sureee
If you had to own a rodent as a pet, what would you pick?
chinchilla.
Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?
i already have it done.
Do you prefer buns with or without sesame seeds?
without
Are you scared of driving and wrecking a car?
ive already done it.
If I looked on your bedroom floor right now, what would I find?
dog bone, shoes, algebra books, clothing items......im a mess.
Do you start the water before you get in the shower or when you get in?
before.
If I went through your purse what would I find?
wallet, perfume, makeup bag, keys, deorderant, piercing cleaner
Would you date an 18 year old at the age you are now?
no.
What age will you be when you times your current age by two?
36
Would you rather be able to teleport or be invisible?
teleport
Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?
yea
What is your favorite thing about the park?
nature.
How long does it take you to get out of bed in the morning?
hours sometimes.
When's the last time you saw your grandpa?
a couple days ago actually.
If you could change your eye color would you?
no
Have you kissed your # 1?
yea
Last person you told a secret to?
loki...it wasnt much a secret after that.
When was the last time you cried?
earlier today.
Do you hate anyone?
a couple, yes.
What are you wearing on your feet?
nothing.
Who did you last get into a big argument with?
my parents.
Have you ever had a really big fight with a best friend?
yeah
If you could get back in touch with one person you've lost touch with, who would it be?
my aunt charlotte
Ever kissed someone who's name starts with a K?
no.
Do you have a best friend to lean on?
yep :)
What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?
watching jamaica give birth to dead puppies.
Do you like to have long hair or short hair?
long
If you were at a reasonable age, would you prefer: a baby boy or girl?
baby boy.
What was the weather like today?
cooold
Do you want to cut your hair?
i need to cut it so bad.
What was the last thing you hid?
fuckin around wit somone while me and loc were broken up.
Are you over the age of 25?
no
Did you ever like someone you know you shouldn't have?
oh yeah
When was the last time you cried really, really hard?
its been awhile.
Is there someone you'd like to fix things with?
yeah
Who was the last girl you had a conversation with?
starla.
Are you missing someone right now?
yes
Do you want someone you can't have?
no
How's your heart lately?
it hurts.
Do you still talk to the last person you kissed?
yeah
What color shirt are you wearing?
blue
How do you like your coffee?
sugar and milk
What are you doing tonight?
chillin, waiting for jeff to come over
What are you looking forward to in the next three months?
getting out of school.
Do long distance relationships work?
not at all
Have you ever shared a drink with anyone?
yes?
Last time someone yelled at you?
today
Do you have a maid service clean your house?
no
Do you think you can last in a relationship for three months?
yea
Would you go out in public looking like you do now?
id rather not.
Have you ever made someone so mad that they broke something?
yeppp
If you could go back in time, how far back would you go?
no.
Who was the last person to make you laugh?
loki.
When did you throw up last?
yesterday morning.
Last time you were truly sad?
today
What kind of mood are you in?
a really shitty one.
"i dont want to sound like a bitch.
but until you hold 5 dead babies in your hands....you havent felt pain like this. you will never understand pain like this. 2 were born dead and the last 3 didnt even have a chance. no matter how hard me and my dad tried to save them..they didnt have a chance. they wouldnt breathe. they didnt have a chance and im so sad. theyre in a shoebox in the garage...and tomorrow morning i have to bury them...i refuse to let my parents jus, throw them in the garbage. ive been depressed, distressed and so out of sorts. partaking in drugs doesnt even help null the pain anymore.
once you realize how corrupt and materialistic everyone around you is...open your eyes. realize that the world around us is collapsing. enjoy your friends. enjoy the fact that they call you jus to talk, to hear your voice. i am SO grateful to have such wonderful people in my life. i want nothing but the best for you, for ALL of you.
p.s
i hate when youre trying to get someones attention before they hang up the phone, to tell they how much they mean to you, and that youre sorry for ever hurting them, and that you love them......and they hang up on you. not because they were bein a dick...but because they werent paying attention."
my pitbull, jamaica, had her puppies today. they were all born premature and they all died. ive been so out of sorts. ive been crying, snapping at everyone. i dont mean to react like this but im so hurt. im so sad. plus doing that heroin fucked with me so much. ive been sick for days, and im jus now getting better. took half a bar earlier and i feel so much better.
if you have the chance, please watch these videos.
the links to them can be found here. PLEASE. its only about 2 hrs per movie, but you will feel so enlightened after watching them. jus give it a chance.
After taking a shower, do you change in the bathroom or in your bedroom?
my room
Has anyone ever made a piece of clothing for you? What was it?
ive had some bracelets made for me before.
Did you collect anything while growing up? What was it?
pokemon cars
If you rented an apartment, would you rather be on the top or bottom floor?
top, because its cheaper and no one can really see into my windows as well.
Take a guess on how many books you have read.
way too many. i love reading.
What's going on with you and the person you last kissed?
im head over heels for him.
Is there anyone you really want to see right now?
yes.
Do you forget to flip the page of your calendar at the start of each month?
i dont use a calender
Do you have any quirky traits?
a couple here n there.
How many people could fit comfortably to sleep in the room you're in?
if you count the floor space like 6 or 7
What's the last thing you searched for on google?
the zeitgeist movie
How would you react if your mom got a lip piercing?
id be like haahah wtf.
Think of a friend whose name starts with any letter between A and M.
jeanne.
How would you react if this friend kissed you?
itd have to be a friendly kinda kiss ya know? no tongue action.
Would you ever go squirrel fishing? [Google it].
sureee
If you had to own a rodent as a pet, what would you pick?
chinchilla.
Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?
i already have it done.
Do you prefer buns with or without sesame seeds?
without
Are you scared of driving and wrecking a car?
ive already done it.
If I looked on your bedroom floor right now, what would I find?
dog bone, shoes, algebra books, clothing items......im a mess.
Do you start the water before you get in the shower or when you get in?
before.
If I went through your purse what would I find?
wallet, perfume, makeup bag, keys, deorderant, piercing cleaner
Would you date an 18 year old at the age you are now?
no.
What age will you be when you times your current age by two?
36
Would you rather be able to teleport or be invisible?
teleport
Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?
yea
What is your favorite thing about the park?
nature.
How long does it take you to get out of bed in the morning?
hours sometimes.
When's the last time you saw your grandpa?
a couple days ago actually.
If you could change your eye color would you?
no
Have you kissed your # 1?
yea
Last person you told a secret to?
loki...it wasnt much a secret after that.
When was the last time you cried?
earlier today.
Do you hate anyone?
a couple, yes.
What are you wearing on your feet?
nothing.
Who did you last get into a big argument with?
my parents.
Have you ever had a really big fight with a best friend?
yeah
If you could get back in touch with one person you've lost touch with, who would it be?
my aunt charlotte
Ever kissed someone who's name starts with a K?
no.
Do you have a best friend to lean on?
yep :)
What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?
watching jamaica give birth to dead puppies.
Do you like to have long hair or short hair?
long
If you were at a reasonable age, would you prefer: a baby boy or girl?
baby boy.
What was the weather like today?
cooold
Do you want to cut your hair?
i need to cut it so bad.
What was the last thing you hid?
fuckin around wit somone while me and loc were broken up.
Are you over the age of 25?
no
Did you ever like someone you know you shouldn't have?
oh yeah
When was the last time you cried really, really hard?
its been awhile.
Is there someone you'd like to fix things with?
yeah
Who was the last girl you had a conversation with?
starla.
Are you missing someone right now?
yes
Do you want someone you can't have?
no
How's your heart lately?
it hurts.
Do you still talk to the last person you kissed?
yeah
What color shirt are you wearing?
blue
How do you like your coffee?
sugar and milk
What are you doing tonight?
chillin, waiting for jeff to come over
What are you looking forward to in the next three months?
getting out of school.
Do long distance relationships work?
not at all
Have you ever shared a drink with anyone?
yes?
Last time someone yelled at you?
today
Do you have a maid service clean your house?
no
Do you think you can last in a relationship for three months?
yea
Would you go out in public looking like you do now?
id rather not.
Have you ever made someone so mad that they broke something?
yeppp
If you could go back in time, how far back would you go?
no.
Who was the last person to make you laugh?
loki.
When did you throw up last?
yesterday morning.
Last time you were truly sad?
today
What kind of mood are you in?
a really shitty one.