(no subject)
I just spent 3 days in a magical town. 2000 people inhabit Göreme in Cappadocia. It's got a vibrant tourist trade that somehow does not disturb the traditional way of life. Horse drawn carriages, free ranging cows, stray dogs and cats run amok in this little Westerner's oasis amidst the most incredible hiking trails I've ever seen. The region is soft-rock cones and cliffs caused by erosion and caves carved into all the biggest and best of them. I slept in a hostel that is in one of these caves. Yesterday, an Amerian from Erie, Pennsylvania and I biked to Avanos from Göreme, a few hour ride on the most uncomfortable bike seat I've ever experienced (I could hardly finish my ride back into town). It was amazing to see how people operate in these little mountain towns, I thought Göreme was a fake-happy tourist paradise, but after seeing three other towns on my bike ride, I am content to note that small town mountain life is of good quality, if there is enough food to eat.
I don't know exactly what the difference is, but I assume it's community, something that I lack in Canada. I believe my sister fell in love with her community in Jerusalem as much as her god. I felt at home with Common Ground in New Orleans, but we all knew that couldn't sustain itself forever. For the time being, I'm finished with moving from town to town looking for peace of mind or a place that mystically feels like I've always belonged there. It doesn't happen that way. One must build their own place in a community, not seek it. I've been lustful for this idea for longer than I've been able to articulate it. I've seen communities that thrive, and what they all have in common is that people root themselves in the ground, and take pride in where they are, for various reasons. I have never felt proud to stand on any chunk of the earth. I have seen the whole world as a variety of places which are different, some special, but none belonging to any person. I see now why people fight wars over their land, where patriotism comes from, because I know what I lack, so I sort of understand what they fight for.
It is my reality that my new home is Montreal. Moving to any other place will not help me establish a sense of belonging. I need to make Montreal my home, no matter how much time it takes. (This may be a temporary thing in most of your minds, 3-4 years, but I don't stay anywhere very long). To establish a place that I can stay in for a few years will allow me to explore certain aspects of myself, I've got enough to think about right now without the entire world presenting me with more new ideas. (ideas, ideas, my life has been seeking ideas and now I need to unravel those before I discover new ones)
I am at the end of my travels, and I am quite happy to be going to spend the next year in one place. My legs are tired and my brain is full. I am sick of skimming the surface of fascinating communities that I will never be able to penetrate if I don't even know how to penetrate my own. I dream of learning languages and imagine my life settled in every town I pass, but I've been running away for too long. I'm ready to make a home in Montreal, and work at school because a life of complete freedom gets tiring if you don't feel you have earned it.
I don't know exactly what the difference is, but I assume it's community, something that I lack in Canada. I believe my sister fell in love with her community in Jerusalem as much as her god. I felt at home with Common Ground in New Orleans, but we all knew that couldn't sustain itself forever. For the time being, I'm finished with moving from town to town looking for peace of mind or a place that mystically feels like I've always belonged there. It doesn't happen that way. One must build their own place in a community, not seek it. I've been lustful for this idea for longer than I've been able to articulate it. I've seen communities that thrive, and what they all have in common is that people root themselves in the ground, and take pride in where they are, for various reasons. I have never felt proud to stand on any chunk of the earth. I have seen the whole world as a variety of places which are different, some special, but none belonging to any person. I see now why people fight wars over their land, where patriotism comes from, because I know what I lack, so I sort of understand what they fight for.
It is my reality that my new home is Montreal. Moving to any other place will not help me establish a sense of belonging. I need to make Montreal my home, no matter how much time it takes. (This may be a temporary thing in most of your minds, 3-4 years, but I don't stay anywhere very long). To establish a place that I can stay in for a few years will allow me to explore certain aspects of myself, I've got enough to think about right now without the entire world presenting me with more new ideas. (ideas, ideas, my life has been seeking ideas and now I need to unravel those before I discover new ones)
I am at the end of my travels, and I am quite happy to be going to spend the next year in one place. My legs are tired and my brain is full. I am sick of skimming the surface of fascinating communities that I will never be able to penetrate if I don't even know how to penetrate my own. I dream of learning languages and imagine my life settled in every town I pass, but I've been running away for too long. I'm ready to make a home in Montreal, and work at school because a life of complete freedom gets tiring if you don't feel you have earned it.