Fandoms 37 and 38
[Title] Hunters and Hunted
[Fandom] Detective Academy Q
[Rating] G
[Notes/Summary] Nanami lectures to Q class on traps.
"As detectives, it is important that you're all aware of the concept of a trap," Nanami said, strolling back and forth in front of Q class and pausing every so often to draw something on the flip chart he'd brought with him. "You may be picturing a pit, or a bear trap, or a snare hanging in the trees. Don't. That will encourage you to think that you can avoid a trap simply by observation." He stopped to draw an image of two stick figures tumbling into a pit, and then put a cross through it. "The way to avoid a trap is by anticipating that those to whom you're proving a problem will set one. Then, to hypothesise how they might do that. And finally, to assess the likelihood of each scenario. Don't look at me like it's a new concept, Kinta-kun. It's not that different from how you catch a criminal. You play out scenarios in your mind. How something would need to happen, how likely it is that it would, or did, and whether the situation would be improved by dressing as a cactus."
He wrote YES on the flip chart, and then turned back to the class.
"As DDS students, you're accustomed to thinking that you've got various advantages when it comes to dealing with a crime," he carried on. "You've got a wide range of skills and experience, plus you can keep your identity a secret and observe or you can reveal it and work with the power it gives you. I've been asked to remind you that your opponents will be on the defensive too. The majority of murderers acted in haste and aren't going to be capable of planning ahead enough to trap you -" Another stick figure, this one holding a knife, and with an exclamation mark above its head. "Of those that are, the majority are going to be bested by your skills." The next knife-wielding stick figure had a question mark above its head. "But there is always the risk that someone is playing a long game, and has already been calculating your moves."
The third stick figure was larger, and Nanami put it at the top of the paper, looking down on all the other drawings.
"So, question everything," he said, peppering the flip chart with question marks. "The motivations of others. The offer of a free lunch. Why people act the way they do. And yourselves and what's driving you."
The class stared at him, faint unease moving across it. Even Ryu blinked.
Nanami grinned at them, wrote THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A FREE LUNCH, and dismissed them with a bow and a sweep of his hat.
"That was a terrible lesson," Hongou said, afterwards. "You gave no concrete instruction at all. It was more about philosophy than detection."
"It was about the art of detection," Nanami said loftily, embossing his drawings with additional victims, detectives and onlookers.
"I don't understand why Dan-sensei would ask you to teach on traps anyway. It's not as if you have any great experience. At least, not if the trap doesn't involve a disguise."
"Perhaps you underestimate me," Nanami said, softly, adding clock faces and skulls to the paper. Hongou snorted, as if he wouldn't entertain such an idea for more than a second, and turned away. Nanami tore the paper off the flip chart, and crumpled it up.
[Title] Numbnuts
[Fandom] Portal/Azumanga Daioh
[Rating] G
[Notes/Summary] Osaka, Tomo and Kagura attempt to bond with Wheatley. Spoilers for first third of Portal 2.
"I am not a moron!" roared the robotic metal sphere, flailing and twisting as it felt the power of its new body.
"Of course you're not," Osaka said, peaceably. "Dat would be Tomo here."
"Hey!" Tomo yelled. "I'm not a moron either! I'm extremely smart when I have to be! And I'm still smarter than you two."
"You have got to be kidding me," Kagura said, scowling. "You live your life according to the code of moronity."
"Says the girl whose only skills are cleavage and sprinting!"
"Hey, at least I know that reindeer exist!"
"That was one tiny mistake! Anyone could've made it!"
"Right," Osaka said. "They're askin' for it, spreadin' all those lies about red noses. I mean, who'd think a creature like dat could be real?"
"Exactly!" Tomo yelled.
"I'm... pretty sure," Kagura said, "that they don't have those red noses. Not in real life. Right?" She frowned. Tomo frowned too. Osaka didn't.
"See?" she said to Wheatley. "You're one of us."
"Shut up!" Wheatley roared, hammered on the lift and sent them falling into the darkness. The potato holding GlaDOS's AI mentally rolled its eyes and wondered how four such idiotic beings had managed to defeat it.
[Fandom] Detective Academy Q
[Rating] G
[Notes/Summary] Nanami lectures to Q class on traps.
"As detectives, it is important that you're all aware of the concept of a trap," Nanami said, strolling back and forth in front of Q class and pausing every so often to draw something on the flip chart he'd brought with him. "You may be picturing a pit, or a bear trap, or a snare hanging in the trees. Don't. That will encourage you to think that you can avoid a trap simply by observation." He stopped to draw an image of two stick figures tumbling into a pit, and then put a cross through it. "The way to avoid a trap is by anticipating that those to whom you're proving a problem will set one. Then, to hypothesise how they might do that. And finally, to assess the likelihood of each scenario. Don't look at me like it's a new concept, Kinta-kun. It's not that different from how you catch a criminal. You play out scenarios in your mind. How something would need to happen, how likely it is that it would, or did, and whether the situation would be improved by dressing as a cactus."
He wrote YES on the flip chart, and then turned back to the class.
"As DDS students, you're accustomed to thinking that you've got various advantages when it comes to dealing with a crime," he carried on. "You've got a wide range of skills and experience, plus you can keep your identity a secret and observe or you can reveal it and work with the power it gives you. I've been asked to remind you that your opponents will be on the defensive too. The majority of murderers acted in haste and aren't going to be capable of planning ahead enough to trap you -" Another stick figure, this one holding a knife, and with an exclamation mark above its head. "Of those that are, the majority are going to be bested by your skills." The next knife-wielding stick figure had a question mark above its head. "But there is always the risk that someone is playing a long game, and has already been calculating your moves."
The third stick figure was larger, and Nanami put it at the top of the paper, looking down on all the other drawings.
"So, question everything," he said, peppering the flip chart with question marks. "The motivations of others. The offer of a free lunch. Why people act the way they do. And yourselves and what's driving you."
The class stared at him, faint unease moving across it. Even Ryu blinked.
Nanami grinned at them, wrote THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A FREE LUNCH, and dismissed them with a bow and a sweep of his hat.
"That was a terrible lesson," Hongou said, afterwards. "You gave no concrete instruction at all. It was more about philosophy than detection."
"It was about the art of detection," Nanami said loftily, embossing his drawings with additional victims, detectives and onlookers.
"I don't understand why Dan-sensei would ask you to teach on traps anyway. It's not as if you have any great experience. At least, not if the trap doesn't involve a disguise."
"Perhaps you underestimate me," Nanami said, softly, adding clock faces and skulls to the paper. Hongou snorted, as if he wouldn't entertain such an idea for more than a second, and turned away. Nanami tore the paper off the flip chart, and crumpled it up.
[Title] Numbnuts
[Fandom] Portal/Azumanga Daioh
[Rating] G
[Notes/Summary] Osaka, Tomo and Kagura attempt to bond with Wheatley. Spoilers for first third of Portal 2.
"I am not a moron!" roared the robotic metal sphere, flailing and twisting as it felt the power of its new body.
"Of course you're not," Osaka said, peaceably. "Dat would be Tomo here."
"Hey!" Tomo yelled. "I'm not a moron either! I'm extremely smart when I have to be! And I'm still smarter than you two."
"You have got to be kidding me," Kagura said, scowling. "You live your life according to the code of moronity."
"Says the girl whose only skills are cleavage and sprinting!"
"Hey, at least I know that reindeer exist!"
"That was one tiny mistake! Anyone could've made it!"
"Right," Osaka said. "They're askin' for it, spreadin' all those lies about red noses. I mean, who'd think a creature like dat could be real?"
"Exactly!" Tomo yelled.
"I'm... pretty sure," Kagura said, "that they don't have those red noses. Not in real life. Right?" She frowned. Tomo frowned too. Osaka didn't.
"See?" she said to Wheatley. "You're one of us."
"Shut up!" Wheatley roared, hammered on the lift and sent them falling into the darkness. The potato holding GlaDOS's AI mentally rolled its eyes and wondered how four such idiotic beings had managed to defeat it.