Cynic
It was just a bad dream in which a blond man/boy I know was fighting unknown assailants with a bodkin. Somehow, my perception panned back so that I could see that all the karateka were fighting black-robed, katana-armed warriors who were barely visible. I called a warning. Thunder roared. I awoke.
Maybe it had to do with the two high-schoolers who let their animosity rule their actions during sparring. Maybe that was just another brick in the wall. The wall obscures my vision. If I don't see it, then I don't have to pretend to understand it.
I understand far more, and at the same time, far less than most people assume. All I know and understand of human relationships comes from the Bible, which despite denominational Chiristianity, is a very EASTERN book. Some undiscovered area of the brain stores the capacity for emotional stability and for the reading and interpretation of non-verbal signals. Whatever physical or chemical operator most human brains have for this understanding of other humans is absent in me. Whatever IQ tests measure, I have in over-abundance of it, but whatever people use to measure the feelings and thoughts of other humans and it interact with each other, I don't have. Maybe it's just bravado. I had to learn from a book - and I still don't “get it”.
Most people seem to think that I'm just rude.
Now here's the funny thing. As much as my relationships with individuals suffer, group dynamics and general trends seem queerly obvious! Maybe that's what I picked up from that book. I can see the logical conclusion to public policy that politicians seem to miss. (Maybe they don't care.) If it feels good or sounds good, it's probably a short cut that will make things worse. Maybe the cynic is right, and I've simply become a cynic.
Well, this is not where I wanted to go, so let me end with a sigh and start a new blog.
Sigh