FUCKKK!!!
fuckin shit....this weekend was great, but now its goin downhill with her. the same thing that happened between her and me the last time is happening again. i have nothing to talk to her about, what the fuck is wrong with me or what. why cant i talk to her everyday and find something to talk about and continue a convo. i know i'm bad at relationships but am i boring? am i worth her time? does she even like me? am i wastin' my time? damnit i have questioning myself...i feel low. unworthy. dull, boring, unexciting. just there. i'm changin my bad habits for her...fixing them so she wont be disappointed in waht i do. i dont want her to look down on me.
yesterday i borrowed a camera from a friend so i can take some pictures of her for me...but she said no, supposedly to her, she's not photogenic. i think she's beautiful...yet i'm assuming my opinion doesnt count at all...she didn want me taking a pic of her so i can paint her on canvas. but NO is what she said. she didnt want to be on canvas at all. i'm beginning to feel that she's too demanding. but how do i tell her that and the other stuff i dont like about her that she does to her face or on the phone...isnt a relationship about compromise and trust and love...and i'm guessing in all those three only one(i hope) is what we have. trust. yet i dont believe she trusts me at all. she's made two comments on one specific thing that really pisses me off big time. damn i hate this. i like her but me and her need a lot of work and i dont want to let her go. yet i believe she wants to just let go of me, or did she already? fuck i want to know what she thinks
yesterday i borrowed a camera from a friend so i can take some pictures of her for me...but she said no, supposedly to her, she's not photogenic. i think she's beautiful...yet i'm assuming my opinion doesnt count at all...she didn want me taking a pic of her so i can paint her on canvas. but NO is what she said. she didnt want to be on canvas at all. i'm beginning to feel that she's too demanding. but how do i tell her that and the other stuff i dont like about her that she does to her face or on the phone...isnt a relationship about compromise and trust and love...and i'm guessing in all those three only one(i hope) is what we have. trust. yet i dont believe she trusts me at all. she's made two comments on one specific thing that really pisses me off big time. damn i hate this. i like her but me and her need a lot of work and i dont want to let her go. yet i believe she wants to just let go of me, or did she already? fuck i want to know what she thinks