(no subject)
woah! holy crap, it's daylight outside. i didn't even know. hilarity. i can totally go to bed, now.
tonight was totally upright citizens brigade night. we went to see buy, beg, borrow or steal (which 'jason bateman calls,'a really funny idea'"!), because a couple of erin's friends are in it, and it was actually pretty funny. it's a 'play' acted out to sync up with pink floyd's "dark side of the moon." i'm not a pink floyd fan, but it was quite funny.
later on we went back to see an 'anyone can be in a sketch' show entitled liquid courage which was so. horrible. 95% horrible, anyway. there were like 80 sketches and it got out at 2:40 am. we went because our friends were doing a sketch, i wouldn't recommend it otherwise. actually, i don't recommend it. it totally looked like trouble from the beginning, when there were all these like 16 year olds hanging out outside the theatre. emo-hair boys with piercings and these fucking RIDICULOUS girls with the whole deal: caked on bronzer, trucker hats that matched their t-shirts, sliced jeans and showing thongs. they belonged at the mall, not the fucking upright citizens brigade theater. arrgh. so they turned out to be there in support of their friends, the worst sketch performers i've ever witnessed. one sketch was army training bit where every line (even their names) was just homosexual innuendo. OMG ITS LIKE HILARIOUS BECAUSE IT SOUNDZ LIEK THEYR GAY!!11 ugh. another was "tales from the lit." apparently just the word "bong" is comedy gold. pair it with a guy watching porn and you got the trucker hat girls "rotfl"-ing.... i Hate teenagers (if you are one, not you. and not my sister either. but you know the ones. the 90% that give the word teenager a bad name)
one of the inbetween skit bump songs was green day covering the clash, and i died inside at their reaction. they totally think it's a green day original. i guess maybe that's not so offensive, if you're young, but it still makes me die inside. but then after the show, franz ferdinand's "take me out" was on the speakers and the girls screamed. like, 'omg i totally know this song, they play it on the radio!' ... ergh.
so aside from their crowd, oh man, there were a lot of bombs. i think 3 sketches in a row that involved obese guys with their shirts off. the WORST, i think, was a guy who was sort of george costanza-y. comes out just wearing saggy long jean shorts (complete with plumber crack of course) and a burger king crown. he had a grocery bag full of snackfoods, and asked who likes food? the young kids were like, omg,free doritos! we like food! whatever. so he passes that stuff out, and it's just weird. and then he's got 2 jars of peanut butter and we learn that he's there to stick peanut butter up his asshole. but you know he's not really going to do it. the funniest part of this bit, okay, the only funny part, was the audience reaction. especially from our side of the audience. "how far should i stick it in?" and our friend matt's hilarious heckle, "zero miles!" it was just ridonkulous. eventually, to a strobe light and a disco song, the guy shoves a spoon full (or a "cunt full" as we believe he called it) of pb down his pants. except it was all over the stage, so i think it did go zero miles. it was so absurd.
there *were* some funny bits scattered throughout, thanks to actual funny people. one in particular was a musical about grunge. when "eddie vedder" and "stone gossard" and "chris cornell" sang that temple of the dog "i'm going hungry" song and the references to mother love bone were 100% lost on the front row of high schoolers. so funny.
and this comedian, azis (i totally don't know how to spell his name) who we saw at 'school night' last week. he's very funny. i can totally see him being on conan very soon.
we went to the bar afterwords (again...because there's nothing else to do. 3am in manhattan is boring) and he showed up after most people had left. it was down to us, erin's friend brian, this ben guy (who was also in some liquid courage sketches) and the azis dude. we watched iron chef and there was a lot of food discusions. and mocking of the trucker hat girls. yay.
oh my god, so, then we get on the path train and after being totally entertained by a crappy lufthansa poster and having picked out all the shitty photoshopping and laughing at the craig ferguson-ish looking guy's weird sort of smiling but dead expression ("he just received some indifferent news") we had some hot lesbian entertainment. not one but two lesbian couples get on and start making out. which is gross, not because they're lesbians, but because pda's are just gross. especially on a train. i didn't even notice them for being lesbians first, partly because i wasn't paying attention/didn't care, and also because one half of one couple looked like a guy in baggy sean jean clothes. so it wasn't even like, obvious lesbians. the entertainment comes in from the absolute pervs on the train that couldn't stop staring and smiling and mentally masturbating (actually, one guy did have his hand in his pocket). this guy who looked like john mayer was the first offender. then this other guy (hand in pocket man) gives the girls a "c'mere' hand gesture. like he thought they'd oblige and he'd totally get into a threesome or fivesome or something. the girls were like, ew dude, you're gross, this my wife. then the girls got off the train at hoboken, and all the pervs cried.
the end
tonight was totally upright citizens brigade night. we went to see buy, beg, borrow or steal (which 'jason bateman calls,'a really funny idea'"!), because a couple of erin's friends are in it, and it was actually pretty funny. it's a 'play' acted out to sync up with pink floyd's "dark side of the moon." i'm not a pink floyd fan, but it was quite funny.
later on we went back to see an 'anyone can be in a sketch' show entitled liquid courage which was so. horrible. 95% horrible, anyway. there were like 80 sketches and it got out at 2:40 am. we went because our friends were doing a sketch, i wouldn't recommend it otherwise. actually, i don't recommend it. it totally looked like trouble from the beginning, when there were all these like 16 year olds hanging out outside the theatre. emo-hair boys with piercings and these fucking RIDICULOUS girls with the whole deal: caked on bronzer, trucker hats that matched their t-shirts, sliced jeans and showing thongs. they belonged at the mall, not the fucking upright citizens brigade theater. arrgh. so they turned out to be there in support of their friends, the worst sketch performers i've ever witnessed. one sketch was army training bit where every line (even their names) was just homosexual innuendo. OMG ITS LIKE HILARIOUS BECAUSE IT SOUNDZ LIEK THEYR GAY!!11 ugh. another was "tales from the lit." apparently just the word "bong" is comedy gold. pair it with a guy watching porn and you got the trucker hat girls "rotfl"-ing.... i Hate teenagers (if you are one, not you. and not my sister either. but you know the ones. the 90% that give the word teenager a bad name)
one of the inbetween skit bump songs was green day covering the clash, and i died inside at their reaction. they totally think it's a green day original. i guess maybe that's not so offensive, if you're young, but it still makes me die inside. but then after the show, franz ferdinand's "take me out" was on the speakers and the girls screamed. like, 'omg i totally know this song, they play it on the radio!' ... ergh.
so aside from their crowd, oh man, there were a lot of bombs. i think 3 sketches in a row that involved obese guys with their shirts off. the WORST, i think, was a guy who was sort of george costanza-y. comes out just wearing saggy long jean shorts (complete with plumber crack of course) and a burger king crown. he had a grocery bag full of snackfoods, and asked who likes food? the young kids were like, omg,free doritos! we like food! whatever. so he passes that stuff out, and it's just weird. and then he's got 2 jars of peanut butter and we learn that he's there to stick peanut butter up his asshole. but you know he's not really going to do it. the funniest part of this bit, okay, the only funny part, was the audience reaction. especially from our side of the audience. "how far should i stick it in?" and our friend matt's hilarious heckle, "zero miles!" it was just ridonkulous. eventually, to a strobe light and a disco song, the guy shoves a spoon full (or a "cunt full" as we believe he called it) of pb down his pants. except it was all over the stage, so i think it did go zero miles. it was so absurd.
there *were* some funny bits scattered throughout, thanks to actual funny people. one in particular was a musical about grunge. when "eddie vedder" and "stone gossard" and "chris cornell" sang that temple of the dog "i'm going hungry" song and the references to mother love bone were 100% lost on the front row of high schoolers. so funny.
and this comedian, azis (i totally don't know how to spell his name) who we saw at 'school night' last week. he's very funny. i can totally see him being on conan very soon.
we went to the bar afterwords (again...because there's nothing else to do. 3am in manhattan is boring) and he showed up after most people had left. it was down to us, erin's friend brian, this ben guy (who was also in some liquid courage sketches) and the azis dude. we watched iron chef and there was a lot of food discusions. and mocking of the trucker hat girls. yay.
oh my god, so, then we get on the path train and after being totally entertained by a crappy lufthansa poster and having picked out all the shitty photoshopping and laughing at the craig ferguson-ish looking guy's weird sort of smiling but dead expression ("he just received some indifferent news") we had some hot lesbian entertainment. not one but two lesbian couples get on and start making out. which is gross, not because they're lesbians, but because pda's are just gross. especially on a train. i didn't even notice them for being lesbians first, partly because i wasn't paying attention/didn't care, and also because one half of one couple looked like a guy in baggy sean jean clothes. so it wasn't even like, obvious lesbians. the entertainment comes in from the absolute pervs on the train that couldn't stop staring and smiling and mentally masturbating (actually, one guy did have his hand in his pocket). this guy who looked like john mayer was the first offender. then this other guy (hand in pocket man) gives the girls a "c'mere' hand gesture. like he thought they'd oblige and he'd totally get into a threesome or fivesome or something. the girls were like, ew dude, you're gross, this my wife. then the girls got off the train at hoboken, and all the pervs cried.
the end