(no subject)

[3tears_for_you]

The stomach aches are back. The stress related ones that have no cure except sleeping them, along with my troubles away. I haven't had them since I was with Scottie.

It's odd how I catorgorize my life in terms of who I was with at the time, instead of age or grade. Scottie. Steve. Andrew. My life tends to resolve around men.

I find myself pushing people away. I don't want to push this person away. I'm acting the way I did with Scottie. Bitter. Irritable. I convince myself of things I don't actually believe. I have to yell in my head not to think those thoughts.

Ap English: 5 days HOLY SHIT
AP American: 9 days
SAT: 10 days

Once all that is over I am having a celebration. That is if I'm still alive. I'm planning on killing all of the brain cells that I've crammed all this useless information in.

Nice paycheck coming my way. Cell phone needs to be paid. Pants need to be bought for work. Mothers day present needs to be bought.
I need some kind of way to organize my time.

I need to lose weight. I feel massive, I know I'm not, but I feel huge. I need to fit in my prom/ball dress.

I also need to study. Au revior.