(no subject)
I only seem to write in my LJ when things are shitty, at least anymore. Thankfully, I haven't had to write in some time. However, you're reading this, so you probably know the score.
My girlfriend-who-wasn't of about half a year broke up with me yesterday. Prone to impulsiveness and sudden changes in mood, she has broken up with me a few times in the past, but usually come back to her senses soon after. I understand this is not healthy.
I told myself that the next time this shit happened, that was it. I intend to stand by that promise. It causes too much stress and angst on top of my already stressful and needlessly angsty life. This time is it, if not by her call then by mine.
As well as we fit together--and very well it was, most of the time--there were a lot of times where we didn't at all. I'd want to relax, she'd be energetic and bouncy. Vice versa. Lately, it started being like that more often, with me tired from work and classes and directing and her wanting to be silly and bouncy. I just wanted to lay down and not do anything for a while. Yesterday, she decided that my demeanor was too much--I'd often tell her to calm down and give me some peace and quiet, though in kinder words at first (you can only tell someone to stop something so many times before you start getting frustrated)--and that we were done.
So it goes.
So that's that. I'm not devastated just yet--though I do feel it coming. I'm more disappointed. On the whole, she really did make me happy, and that's something I haven't had in some time. Apparently, I was alone in my happiness, which I didn't really know until...well, yesterday. Communication was never our strongest point, but it wasn't our weakest, either.
On top of that, I'm almost certainly failing one of my classes. It would be a miracle if my professor decided to give me an incomplete instead of a straight-up failing grade. However, knowing the professor, I am in no way confident that things will play out that way.
Even more, I have two days to be out of my house and haven't even begun transferring things over. I'm waiting for someone else to move out of the house I'm moving into, and I don't think he understands the sensitive nature of time. This is probably why he can never hold a job, but that is neither here nor there. In the end, it's just another stress piled on. I could do without it.
I've been drinking with some amount of frequency again, which is something I will have to keep an eye on. It isn't even close to the point of being out of control, but everything starts somewhere. I am firmly resolved not to become an alcoholic right before moving in with a new roommate--that tends to lead to awkward conversations.
Anyway, that's that. One more week until the summer, when I can relax and finally get some writing done. That will be nice. We will see if I ever stop being lazy and actually get that writing done.
Thanks for getting this far.
Greg
My girlfriend-who-wasn't of about half a year broke up with me yesterday. Prone to impulsiveness and sudden changes in mood, she has broken up with me a few times in the past, but usually come back to her senses soon after. I understand this is not healthy.
I told myself that the next time this shit happened, that was it. I intend to stand by that promise. It causes too much stress and angst on top of my already stressful and needlessly angsty life. This time is it, if not by her call then by mine.
As well as we fit together--and very well it was, most of the time--there were a lot of times where we didn't at all. I'd want to relax, she'd be energetic and bouncy. Vice versa. Lately, it started being like that more often, with me tired from work and classes and directing and her wanting to be silly and bouncy. I just wanted to lay down and not do anything for a while. Yesterday, she decided that my demeanor was too much--I'd often tell her to calm down and give me some peace and quiet, though in kinder words at first (you can only tell someone to stop something so many times before you start getting frustrated)--and that we were done.
So it goes.
So that's that. I'm not devastated just yet--though I do feel it coming. I'm more disappointed. On the whole, she really did make me happy, and that's something I haven't had in some time. Apparently, I was alone in my happiness, which I didn't really know until...well, yesterday. Communication was never our strongest point, but it wasn't our weakest, either.
On top of that, I'm almost certainly failing one of my classes. It would be a miracle if my professor decided to give me an incomplete instead of a straight-up failing grade. However, knowing the professor, I am in no way confident that things will play out that way.
Even more, I have two days to be out of my house and haven't even begun transferring things over. I'm waiting for someone else to move out of the house I'm moving into, and I don't think he understands the sensitive nature of time. This is probably why he can never hold a job, but that is neither here nor there. In the end, it's just another stress piled on. I could do without it.
I've been drinking with some amount of frequency again, which is something I will have to keep an eye on. It isn't even close to the point of being out of control, but everything starts somewhere. I am firmly resolved not to become an alcoholic right before moving in with a new roommate--that tends to lead to awkward conversations.
Anyway, that's that. One more week until the summer, when I can relax and finally get some writing done. That will be nice. We will see if I ever stop being lazy and actually get that writing done.
Thanks for getting this far.
Greg