(no subject)
I made up my mind this afternoon: I’m not auditioning for the next show.
Which is weird; I had quite a streak going there for awhile. Anyway, for those of you that are actually curious as to why, I can try to explain it the best I can, but I don’t know what that’s really going to help. My reasoning isn’t exactly profound or agreeable, but the way I feel right now, not just about theatre but everything, I need to change my priorities. The fact of the matter is, I am no longer the annoying crazy little boy in theatre that I had such a good time being before, I’m a boring senior with a more realistic approach now. When I see this place everyday, I realize that I only have a handful of friends there now, that I’m not even considerably close to anyone there. That’s just how it is, people graduate, people leave, and I can’t have this keeping me busy when I don’t have a reason to be there. I never acted because that’s what I’m into. I acted because I met my most important friends there. I don’t even consider myself an actor.
Honestly, this place doesn’t mean the same that it used to mean to me. Now it’s just more of a responsibility, a deadline. So why am I here? I’m sure because people are generous with their words, they could supply me with an arsenal of seemingly strong reasons that I’m important here, but the fact of the matter, our theatre company will still be buzzing with life regardless of my presence, which is a good thing, and makes me feel a lot better about stepping out of the circle. Whether I audition for anything else this year, that decision I haven’t exactly made yet, but I still plan to keep up with one-acts and improv. Aside from that, I simply won’t be around anymore.
I’m tired of being poor all the time. I eat about one meal a day because the only money I get within a week goes towards the gas for Truck. If I could make the extra cash for food and whatever else I pleased, life would be a hell of a lot more easy. Getting a job again sounds more alluring than ever, now that I have the means to get to and from independently.
I have a lot to say about a certain thing that happened in my mind, but I refuse to post some long and vague message that you know only applies to you. I care about you too much, more than something petty like that is worth -- so I guess you're off the hook.
I wish things were different, in a lot of areas; but I’m not waiting around for anything to change.
Which is weird; I had quite a streak going there for awhile. Anyway, for those of you that are actually curious as to why, I can try to explain it the best I can, but I don’t know what that’s really going to help. My reasoning isn’t exactly profound or agreeable, but the way I feel right now, not just about theatre but everything, I need to change my priorities. The fact of the matter is, I am no longer the annoying crazy little boy in theatre that I had such a good time being before, I’m a boring senior with a more realistic approach now. When I see this place everyday, I realize that I only have a handful of friends there now, that I’m not even considerably close to anyone there. That’s just how it is, people graduate, people leave, and I can’t have this keeping me busy when I don’t have a reason to be there. I never acted because that’s what I’m into. I acted because I met my most important friends there. I don’t even consider myself an actor.
Honestly, this place doesn’t mean the same that it used to mean to me. Now it’s just more of a responsibility, a deadline. So why am I here? I’m sure because people are generous with their words, they could supply me with an arsenal of seemingly strong reasons that I’m important here, but the fact of the matter, our theatre company will still be buzzing with life regardless of my presence, which is a good thing, and makes me feel a lot better about stepping out of the circle. Whether I audition for anything else this year, that decision I haven’t exactly made yet, but I still plan to keep up with one-acts and improv. Aside from that, I simply won’t be around anymore.
I’m tired of being poor all the time. I eat about one meal a day because the only money I get within a week goes towards the gas for Truck. If I could make the extra cash for food and whatever else I pleased, life would be a hell of a lot more easy. Getting a job again sounds more alluring than ever, now that I have the means to get to and from independently.
I have a lot to say about a certain thing that happened in my mind, but I refuse to post some long and vague message that you know only applies to you. I care about you too much, more than something petty like that is worth -- so I guess you're off the hook.
I wish things were different, in a lot of areas; but I’m not waiting around for anything to change.