blue balls
the strip club is quite a place. girls dance. they take off their clothes. they wink. they blow kisses. i would love to act like i care about some great humanitarian plight and say the scene was depressing, but i am a man in the worst kind of way. i watch her dance, her body a perfect blend of cellulite and sillicon, just dont look at her face, its normaly a let down. i throwback the rest of my beer as she approaches. she speaks to me in french and i tell her i dont speak it. in cute and broken english she asks to sit. oui. her name is mode which i find to be appaling but not enough to tell her to scram. "do you do private dances?" oui. "ten dollars right?" oui. we walk back to a small booth, there are a list of rules on the wall, she catches me looking. "do you know the rules?" non. "ok, no touching here," she say first as she points to her box. rule number two is that i cant kiss her, anywhere. the last rule i find to be the most amusing for two reasons. one was the rule itself and the other was her trying to explain it in english. she turned around and squeezed her ass cheeks and pulled them apart and told me that i could not do that. she then smiled and said "well maybe a little but be gentle please." oui. she begins to dance for me. she runs her fingers through my hair. she twists and turns and i run my paws all over her. i almost giggle when i squeeze her nipples and other goofy shit like that. as a song comes to an end she tells me that it will be 13 to keep going. or so i thought. 20 minutes later i found myself 70 bucks in the hole. she tricked me good. oui.