On our not-so-merry way we go.
Well, i'm in Atlanta. I was actually able to purchase a ticket, and my savings account is rather sparse as a consequence. In a few hours, i'll be on a flight to Pensacola, and from there, to Alabama. My company, namely my bosses boss, and subsequently her boss, were kind enough to extend to me three days of paid leave, that normally, I wouldn't have. I am eternally grateful to them for their act of compassion, and sent them e-mails thanking them.
I don't care for funerals. Or wakes. Mostly the wakes, the viewings namely. I think I dislike them because they remind me of my own mortality, and honestly, who likes to think of that? I realize that funerals, and wakes, serve as a grief mechanism - they help us to deal with the loss in some way. But i've never been to a funeral that somehow was able to soothe any real anguish I felt . Personally, I think there could be better ways - to make things a celebration, to get wildly drunk and toast to someone's memory rather than weep about it in the company of macabre spirits.
If everyone develops a method to cope, i've got mine down pat. . My usual process is simply just walk into the room with the body, look, and force myself to stare. It's like pulling a band-aid off, the sooner you do it, the sooner the pain will ebb away. Or I guess just at some point, you can only cry so much.
The only silver lining to this whole process, the only positive thing, is that I will get to see my family, that i've missed so desperately. I just wish it were under better circumstances. I will only get three short days, but I will do my best to cherish them. I could ask for more days to stay with them, and my company would grant them too me - but they've done me a huge favor giving me three days I didn't have to begin with, and I intend to try and get to work Friday to show my gratitude. I'll plan for a longer visit when the opportunity presents itself.
Also,
sweetpeaches, and
blackbirdshaq - thanks for the kind words. Big hugs to the both of you. Russ - i'll call you later (if I can remember your #).