all in vain
Most of today was pretty average. Because of the GIT preview trip I missed school today because I was so exhausted. I woke up, brushed up, and worked on calculus for a couple of hours. Everything was pretty good - I learned alot of great stuff, relaxed about an hour and so forth. When the concert came up I wasn't enthusiastic but I wasn't melancholy either. I gave Justin a ride and we got there and did our thing. For some reason though, the whole thing kind of depressed me, and by the end of the concert I felt horrible. I found out that Joseph / Jesse (whom I sing MUCH better than / Ryan / Nathaniel sang a cortet on Ave Maria during the piece that everyone else was excluded in. I also learned that we have a LINCOLN BRASS QUINTET, which I was never even informed about. I didn't know it existed until tonight. So just the fact that I wasn't even informed of this quintet I wasn't in really upset me.
I realize that all of my dreams that I had since I was a freshman were all shattered, and this was the straw that broke the camel's back. Ever since I was a freshman, I wanted to be drum major, which I never got. I also wanted to be student conductor, which I haven't got yet. I wanted to be President, which I never got. I wanted a trombone solo one of the marching shows, which I never got. I wanted to be in the Lincoln brass quintet, which I never got. If I didn't intervene I wouldn't even have been *section* leader. (of a section that doesn't respect me anyways) I think about all these "I never got"'s and it is very depressing. I can't count the number of times a parent or freshman pulled me aside and thanked me for encouraging them and helping them when they needed guidance. I can't count the nubmer of times I have given a ride to people that needed one because the other upper classmen wouldn't take them. I can't count the number of hours I spent cleaning up what the other officers left behind. I have been an officer longer than any other senior yet I am stuck in Vice President. I have worked so hard, but it was all in vain. The worst part about it, is no one cares but me. Maybe no one else should. Maybe I am being petty, but why does it hurt so much?
I realize that all of my dreams that I had since I was a freshman were all shattered, and this was the straw that broke the camel's back. Ever since I was a freshman, I wanted to be drum major, which I never got. I also wanted to be student conductor, which I haven't got yet. I wanted to be President, which I never got. I wanted a trombone solo one of the marching shows, which I never got. I wanted to be in the Lincoln brass quintet, which I never got. If I didn't intervene I wouldn't even have been *section* leader. (of a section that doesn't respect me anyways) I think about all these "I never got"'s and it is very depressing. I can't count the number of times a parent or freshman pulled me aside and thanked me for encouraging them and helping them when they needed guidance. I can't count the nubmer of times I have given a ride to people that needed one because the other upper classmen wouldn't take them. I can't count the number of hours I spent cleaning up what the other officers left behind. I have been an officer longer than any other senior yet I am stuck in Vice President. I have worked so hard, but it was all in vain. The worst part about it, is no one cares but me. Maybe no one else should. Maybe I am being petty, but why does it hurt so much?