I've noticed things can't be repaired, I know i've got to say goodbye
hey.
well um the last few days have been interesting. on thursday night chris kept calling but i was asleep so i didn't answer.. and he left me this message that was like "i love you with all my heart i dont know how much more of this i can take.. i dont know what i've done or how to fix it i miss you i love you" etc.. so i was like ooook?? and then yesterday i didnt talk 2 him before first period i just walked around w/ jordan and then b4 second period i saw him and he was like JACKIE! WHERE HAVE U BEEN I'VE BEEN LOOKING 4 U ALL DAY! and i was like umm it's only 2nd period.. and hes like "are u wearing ur ring?" and i said yes... and then he was like you should tell all your friends that were going back out... and i was like ummmm why? and he goes "because we are" HA! so i was like no were not.. and then i went to class and when i got out someone told me he left school cuz he was really sad or something. so anyways the rest of my day was AWESOME... umm... drama was kinda boring.. and yeah in geometry i talked 2 jordan the whole time which was cool and lunch was good.. i hung out with matt and jess and krissy and DAMN there was so much fucking drama. lmao. but it was hilarious. i hate krissy. and then after lunch simon was like SOMEONE MADE A WEBSITE ABOUT ME!!!! and kevin was like umm thats fake i was just kidding w/ you.. LMFAO ok u had to be there and then simon pushed kevin in the bushes it was the funniest thing ever b/c simon had the guys number and everything b/c the website said simon was gay or something lmao... and then i walked wendy to geometry! our new tradition! and i talked to marybeth and then i went to english and i told jami the whole story about chris... then after that i went 2 history and i saw jaclyn and talked 2 her cuz we had a firedrill... and um thats about it. then i walked to the bus with jess and did nothing. i came home and chris imed me and was like I MISS YOU LET'S GO BACK OUT I LOVE YOU!! and he called me and was saying like "as long as theres a jackie and chris everything will be good and we will be perfect 4 eachother" and i was naming all the reasons i didnt wanna go back out which are... ZACK. god damn. i know if we go back out chris is just always gonna ditch me for him and let zack treat me like shit!!! and never call when he says he will and all that other fucking bullshit. and then another reason... HIS MOM FUCKING HATES ME. and there's nothing i can do about that. i mean we could PROBABLY work through all of the zack issues.. but we could never work thru his mom hating me. i think for me to go back out with chris he might have to stop being friends with zack. b/c im not gonna deal w/ being treated like shit everytime zack comes into the picture. but chris wont do that do whatever. i dont think i wanna go back out w/ him. well i DO want to. b/c i love him SOOOOOO FUCKING MUCH!!! hes my sweetheart! but im not gonna be treated like shit just cuz i love him. and who knows.. maybe one day we will be together again when i FEEL like he's TRULY SORRY for all the shit he's done and pain he's caused me.. but until that day where he makes everythign up to me.. i guess we are gonna be apart. i love him.... i do. but im sick of crying. i still haven't cried ONCE since we broke up. its been like 2 1/2 days. thats the longest ive gone w/o crying in WEEKS.
alright well i just want him to fucking come over and make things right but i know he wont! so i guess i just have to try to live my life and be happy!
ok well im gonna go, bye!
well um the last few days have been interesting. on thursday night chris kept calling but i was asleep so i didn't answer.. and he left me this message that was like "i love you with all my heart i dont know how much more of this i can take.. i dont know what i've done or how to fix it i miss you i love you" etc.. so i was like ooook?? and then yesterday i didnt talk 2 him before first period i just walked around w/ jordan and then b4 second period i saw him and he was like JACKIE! WHERE HAVE U BEEN I'VE BEEN LOOKING 4 U ALL DAY! and i was like umm it's only 2nd period.. and hes like "are u wearing ur ring?" and i said yes... and then he was like you should tell all your friends that were going back out... and i was like ummmm why? and he goes "because we are" HA! so i was like no were not.. and then i went to class and when i got out someone told me he left school cuz he was really sad or something. so anyways the rest of my day was AWESOME... umm... drama was kinda boring.. and yeah in geometry i talked 2 jordan the whole time which was cool and lunch was good.. i hung out with matt and jess and krissy and DAMN there was so much fucking drama. lmao. but it was hilarious. i hate krissy. and then after lunch simon was like SOMEONE MADE A WEBSITE ABOUT ME!!!! and kevin was like umm thats fake i was just kidding w/ you.. LMFAO ok u had to be there and then simon pushed kevin in the bushes it was the funniest thing ever b/c simon had the guys number and everything b/c the website said simon was gay or something lmao... and then i walked wendy to geometry! our new tradition! and i talked to marybeth and then i went to english and i told jami the whole story about chris... then after that i went 2 history and i saw jaclyn and talked 2 her cuz we had a firedrill... and um thats about it. then i walked to the bus with jess and did nothing. i came home and chris imed me and was like I MISS YOU LET'S GO BACK OUT I LOVE YOU!! and he called me and was saying like "as long as theres a jackie and chris everything will be good and we will be perfect 4 eachother" and i was naming all the reasons i didnt wanna go back out which are... ZACK. god damn. i know if we go back out chris is just always gonna ditch me for him and let zack treat me like shit!!! and never call when he says he will and all that other fucking bullshit. and then another reason... HIS MOM FUCKING HATES ME. and there's nothing i can do about that. i mean we could PROBABLY work through all of the zack issues.. but we could never work thru his mom hating me. i think for me to go back out with chris he might have to stop being friends with zack. b/c im not gonna deal w/ being treated like shit everytime zack comes into the picture. but chris wont do that do whatever. i dont think i wanna go back out w/ him. well i DO want to. b/c i love him SOOOOOO FUCKING MUCH!!! hes my sweetheart! but im not gonna be treated like shit just cuz i love him. and who knows.. maybe one day we will be together again when i FEEL like he's TRULY SORRY for all the shit he's done and pain he's caused me.. but until that day where he makes everythign up to me.. i guess we are gonna be apart. i love him.... i do. but im sick of crying. i still haven't cried ONCE since we broke up. its been like 2 1/2 days. thats the longest ive gone w/o crying in WEEKS.
alright well i just want him to fucking come over and make things right but i know he wont! so i guess i just have to try to live my life and be happy!
ok well im gonna go, bye!