random memories

[3_legged_cat]

so anyways i was thinking about this show called millennium and it reminded me of how i would watch the xfiles in 5th grade and play with my plastic animals in the living room late at night long after everyone had gone to bed... I really liked doing that, watching TV alone and playing. I liked to be alone. I remember also when i lived on the beach i would go upstairs and play in the unrented studio apartment and watch TV. I especially liked it when it was raining outside and i was alone. it was really fun.
I just feel safe and content thinking back on the last year before my mom passed away. Sitting and watching tv alone late at night. Or on sundays watching the fox line up with her... though some of the time i wasnt allowed to watch certain tv shows. LAME. and i miss being able to go on the beach whenever i wanted. that was pretty special. oh well.
also remind me of malcollm in the middle

so basically....middle school was fun for me even considering the passing of my mother... then came highschool which was okay... i started using alot of drugs during that time, that was really the only part that stood out as fun, the rest was gloomy and depressing. i dont even have any of my artwork left and that was the last time i drew really. the summer amber and i spent together after she graduated was like super fun... and even leading up to that was pretty fun also. after that though everything kinda sucked... REALLY SUCKED. I want something great to happen again. and this time it wont involve getting fucked up...