(no subject)
Lewis Black: "And while eating at the International House of Pancakes, I heard the dumbest thing I have ever heard in my life: 'If it weren't for my HORSE, I wouldn't have gone to COLLEGE.' ... Now I will repeat that, because that sentence needs repeating." *Takes a sip of water* "She said, 'If it weren't for my HORSE' -- you know, like GIDDY-YUP -- 'I wouldn't have gone to COLLEGE.' ... COLLEGE is a level of schooling, at which GIVES DEGREES necessary for a job. ... NEVER blame your going to college ON A HORSE.
"And people in the medical field do not know how people get aneurisms. And there is a reason. The reason is because: You're walking in the mall with some friends, and you hear someone say, 'If it weren't for my HORSE, I wouldn't have gone to COLLEGE.' You turn around to see who said it. You look back and you see that your friends are thinking of buying you a new cell phone. But it's NOT. It's your HEAD going, 'IF IT WASN'T FOR MY HORSE, I WOULDN'T HAVE GONE TO COLLEGE.' Soon enough you're going home, eating dinner, and you think you hear conversations, but it's really your brain saying, 'HORSE and COLLEGE and HORSE and COLLEGE,' and this goes on for SEVEN DAYS but you DON'T KNOW IT, it's just in the back of your mind saying, 'HOW THE HELL DID I GET INTO COLLEGE BECAUSE OF MY HORSE?!?!?' and pretty soon you're dead in the bathroom."
One of the greatest comedians. So angry. An angry man. Gets me hyped. 'S'awesome.
---
Jonathan, me, and Eva. "Wtf" ensues.
Jonathan: "Hey Eva, this is my friend, Forrest."
Forrest: "Hi."
Eva: "Hi."
Jonathan: "Yeah... He's from Germany."
Eva: "Really?? That's awesome!"
Forrest: "Yeah it's cool."
Eva: "So are you a German Exchange Student? Or...?"
Forrest: "No I moved here... Recently..."
Eva: "Oh so you're..."
Forrest: "Yeah."
Eva: "Yeah."
Jonathan: "In Germany they call him 'Fritzie'."
Eva: "Oh that's cute."
Forrest: "Heh."
Eva: "So did you see where he went? He's off with my cell phone..." *Leaves*
...
Forrest: *sighs* "So now I'm apparently an ASIAN, from GERMANY. GERMANY."
Jonathan: "AND!! AND speaks fluent English!!"
Forrest: "Heh, yeah! Jonathan I hate you."
---
AND TEH ASHLEY IS SO AWESOME! SO COOL! I GET TO TALK TO HER TODAY! And she has wood shavings down her shirt and in her hair. Hawt.
"And people in the medical field do not know how people get aneurisms. And there is a reason. The reason is because: You're walking in the mall with some friends, and you hear someone say, 'If it weren't for my HORSE, I wouldn't have gone to COLLEGE.' You turn around to see who said it. You look back and you see that your friends are thinking of buying you a new cell phone. But it's NOT. It's your HEAD going, 'IF IT WASN'T FOR MY HORSE, I WOULDN'T HAVE GONE TO COLLEGE.' Soon enough you're going home, eating dinner, and you think you hear conversations, but it's really your brain saying, 'HORSE and COLLEGE and HORSE and COLLEGE,' and this goes on for SEVEN DAYS but you DON'T KNOW IT, it's just in the back of your mind saying, 'HOW THE HELL DID I GET INTO COLLEGE BECAUSE OF MY HORSE?!?!?' and pretty soon you're dead in the bathroom."
One of the greatest comedians. So angry. An angry man. Gets me hyped. 'S'awesome.
---
Jonathan, me, and Eva. "Wtf" ensues.
Jonathan: "Hey Eva, this is my friend, Forrest."
Forrest: "Hi."
Eva: "Hi."
Jonathan: "Yeah... He's from Germany."
Eva: "Really?? That's awesome!"
Forrest: "Yeah it's cool."
Eva: "So are you a German Exchange Student? Or...?"
Forrest: "No I moved here... Recently..."
Eva: "Oh so you're..."
Forrest: "Yeah."
Eva: "Yeah."
Jonathan: "In Germany they call him 'Fritzie'."
Eva: "Oh that's cute."
Forrest: "Heh."
Eva: "So did you see where he went? He's off with my cell phone..." *Leaves*
...
Forrest: *sighs* "So now I'm apparently an ASIAN, from GERMANY. GERMANY."
Jonathan: "AND!! AND speaks fluent English!!"
Forrest: "Heh, yeah! Jonathan I hate you."
---
AND TEH ASHLEY IS SO AWESOME! SO COOL! I GET TO TALK TO HER TODAY! And she has wood shavings down her shirt and in her hair. Hawt.